Meeting someone for the first time nerves

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Meeting someone for the first time nerves

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• 18 hours ago 18h ago

So I've been talking to this guy for maybe over a month now and we both get along really well and dabbled with sexting a little bit. We've agreed to meet up for the first time this weekend and I'm just so worried that he won't be attracted to me in person. Obviously he's seen many pictures of my face from snapchat, tinder etc. (and a few other body parts...) but he's probably seen one full body picture (clothed) and they were sports wear basically designed to make you look good... I'm pretty overweight so I'm just terrified that I won't be what he's expecting. I've had quite a few tinder guys over before and I've never been particularly worried about this but for some reason I am this time. I even feel like putting this off until I've lost weight.
Argh.
I guess I'm not asking for help, since there's no way anyone can really help. Just venting my worries.

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She put an 'x' at the end of a text for the first time

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She put an 'x' at the end of a text for the first time

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• 20 hours ago 20h ago

I'm new mates with this girl who I've been texting never puts a kiss at the end of her texts. This morning she text me 'hope u slept well x'

does this mean anything?? Is this a sign she likes me? It's taken me aback

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Has anyone ever suffered child abuse?

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Has anyone ever suffered child abuse?

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• 14 hours ago 14h ago

Sorry if this thread is too petty or sad, but it's something I have to get off my chest. If you can't be bothered to read it all, because it might be too long, then dont read it at all.

I'm a Pakistani, 20 years old, born in this country. My father was born in this country but my mother wasn't. I have had a very painful experience growing up. I have parents who always tried to close me off from the outside world, who often gave us lectures about how we will never become anything in life if we ever make a B, who often told us we can't major in whatever we want it has to be a science we major in, who often stopped us from being too social in high school and in most cases who often tried to control what we like and how we view the world. Ever since I was 6-7 years old, I have suffered child abuse. When I was in primary school, I got reports at the end of each academic year; everyone had it. In those reports stated how good I am in each subject and so on. Whenever I got bad reports, they would physically abuse me. I'm not talking about slapping me around; I'm talking about proper physical abuse such as getting the stick off the mop and beating me and kicking my head with steel toe cap boots. When I got good reports, they wouldn't congratulate me, they would say, "That's how it's supossed to be." All of this reports stuff continued up to the end of high school.

Since my dead worked and still does, work in a factory, every time I got bad results or bad news from a teacher, I would get verbal and physical abuse on how I'm a worthless piece of shi*. I would get a lectuer from my dad on how he has to get up at 5 am everyday and work in a factory doing a shi* job. First of all, I'm not the one who told him to work in a factory or not go to university. When he was in college, one day he skipped it and went to town to eat chips and his aunt caught him. That's not my fault. It was his descision to skip college and work in a factory; and ever since he has put that burden on me.

This physical and verbal abuse went on for over 10 years. My mother wasn't any different. She used to physically beat me, but not to the extent my father did. My mother got her shoes and beat me, which gave me severe bruises; she also kicked me and punched me. This was only when she had the opportunity to. If i had spilled something or said something she didn't like, or got bad reports, she would beat me.

4 years ago, when I was in high school, I left school early with a friend because we didn't have any lessons. We went into town to get a bite to eat. Once we finished eating, he said, "Are you sure you don't need to be anywhere?" At that moment I remembered that I had a doctors appointment, which was about 15 minutes away. So, as soon as we finished eating, I walked home so fast; I was so petrified because I knew they were gonna beat me and guess what? They did. As soon as I opoened the front door, both my mother and father were by the stairs. They told me that I had a doctors appointment and I told them I forgot. That day, my father grabbed me by my throat and smashed my head against the wall, kicked me, punched me. Honest to God, if I had a camera and recorded all the things they did to me when I was young, they would be in jail.

When I was about 14 years old, I used to play this online football game called Power Soccer. One day, he dad was watching a football match, it was Arsenal playing and they were losing. While he was watching the game, I was playing my football game and my sister was watching it too. Because they were losing, my dad got pissed off and said to my sister you can have the remote. She asked me to throw the remote to her and I said, 2 mins", she said, "Ok". My dad got angry and pissed off, he went in the kitchen and got a knife and as soon as I saw him with the kinfe, I ran upstairs into my mums bedroom. He started swearing at me and said, "I'm going to fu**** kill you" multiple times. My mother tried to stop him and eventually he calmed down and went back downstairs. My mother asked me what happened and I told her, I was just playing a game and het got a knife. If my mother wasn't in her room or in the bathroom, i would've probably been stabbed.

I honestly can't tell you the amount of times I've been slapped, kicked, punched, strangled, hit with steel toe boots, mop sticks, shoes. All of these gave me bruises and marks on my body, but fortunately have faded.

They now a lot of times ask me, "Why don't you sit with us or talk to us; you're always in you're room." Their abuse contributes quite a lot, but I don't think it's the entire cause. I believe it's how your parents interact with you and talk to you or even talk to others about you. You know how you're sitting there with your parents and your aunts and uncles and they'll talk about their children, aka you, your siblings, and your cousins. And it depends on if your parents hug or touch you, and the trust. My parents didn't touch us much after the kid phase. My parents spoke to us condescendingly. I rarely go to my parents with problems. I guess the emotional trust isn't there. I will not go to my mum with my problems because she will criticize and yell all over the place. And they wonder why don't talk to them. People will say that it's culture or tradition, but it's not right. Chinese people eat cats, dogs and other insects; it's their tradition, but it doesnt make it right. Culture is a product of tradition.
This has been a favorite quote of mine:
"You know what tradition is, right? It's the irrational sh*t nobody would ever voluntarily adopt for themselves, so it's forced upon them by their parents and peers.
Fu*k tradition, and fu*k culture. Anybody's culture.
I am a culture of one. I don't wish to be categorized because I do not define myself by any category."

I really, really envy the way white people treat their children and how they can talk about anything. If you have parents that listen to you and talk to you as a human being, you're lucky. My dad would just bullsh*t up things until the conversation becomes things that you can't prove, then he "wins". All my friend's have folks that are not just parents. They seem like they would be the best of friends with their own kids. Completely the opposite in my household. I rarely share anything personal with my mum or dad. The way they act has irreparably ruined any parental bond. And lastly, I will never marry a south Asian woman because I don't want my children suffering the same BS I did. I'm going to university in Sept, so I'll just go wild from there.

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I was sexually harassed outside of a McDonalds.

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I was sexually harassed outside of a McDonalds.

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• 19 hours ago 19h ago

This happened earlier today at around 7. The drive thru was busy as you can imagine since it's Friday so I parked the car and thought it'd be quicker to walk in and order from inside. Unfortunately this was not the case as there was a long queue inside. I decided my only option was to join the line of agitated people and wait to be called upon.

No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.


When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.

Is this a good idea?

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how tall are you and your partner?

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how tall are you and your partner?

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• 18 hours ago 18h ago

state your gender and then their

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Boyfriend leaving for Uni

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Boyfriend leaving for Uni

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• 18 hours ago 18h ago

Me and my boyfriend and going to different universities that are just under an hour away from each other and I know it sounds silly but I'm really worried because I'm going to miss him and it's getting to me can anyone just help or give some advice.

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Divorce Consultation Advice

Hello TAMers, I need some good advice. I have reached the point where I don't believe there is anything that can be done to make my marriage prosper. Sure, I could stick it out, but it sucks. No sex. No attention. Wife is absorbed with her career and what little time she leave goes to the kids. I'm the roommate. But not for much longer.

I have an appt on Monday with a divorce attorney. It's a 1 hour consultation. What questions do I need to ask? What info do I need to be prepared to give? What should I make sure to know before I leave? I have some questions, but I'm certain there are things I'm not thinking about. Thank you

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If you are overweight/ugly, you're social life and life in general is likely to SUCK!

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If you are overweight/ugly, you're social life and life in general is likely to SUCK!

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• 1 Hour Ago 1 hour ago

You'll never get any attention from the opposite sex, so you're never going to be texting or socialising, let alone going out with other girls/boys.

At uni, you'll be spending vast periods of time alone, unless you are good at sport or by the odd chance have a group of friends of your own sex. But even that's difficult because very few fat people are respected. I'm not necessarily talking obese, but significantly overweight i.e. 10kg more a healthy weight. Double that and you will be a complete social outcast, guaranteed... unless you are a fat boozing rugby forward.

This leads to depression and seriously affects your every day life, including your grades. And that makes it harder to lose the weight from the depression.

Does TSR agree?

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Did I "force" my ex to break up with me?

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Did I "force" my ex to break up with me?

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• 30 minutes ago 30m ago

I remember we had really good sex, then argued and I asked her "What do you want?! Shall we just break up?" I was angry and seriously embarrassed at something I did (I don't want to say what it was) ... And then after a while of crying she said "I don't want us to break up, but I think it's the best for us".

It feels like I have ... What to do?

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nipple piercing

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nipple piercing

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• 1 Hour Ago 1 hour ago

Girls with a nipple piercing, hot or not?

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Should I help her? She is anxious.

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Should I help her? She is anxious.

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• 1 Hour Ago 1 hour ago

I have been given as of Monday 13th April, a girl in my A level year who has been bullied and 'tormented' at previous schools and now has anxiety and other such illnesses to take under my wing. At first I was apathetic. The main reason why I took on the duty of being a welcome ambassador (that is the title) was because I can add it to my UCAS personal statement for university later this. However, I am determined to be of some help. So what should I do with this anxiety ridden individual? She has OCD as well apparently.

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going out of my mind

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going out of my mind

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• 46 minutes ago 46m ago

WHAT DOES ONE GREY TICK ON WHATSAPP MEAN ON AN IPHONE????????

That the message has been delivered, but the app hasn't been opened????

anon or delete.

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Left feminist a blubbering mess. Feel pity for her.

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Left feminist a blubbering mess. Feel pity for her.

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• 31 minutes ago 31m ago

So this year my A level year had a big debate, over whether feminism is still relevant and there was an award for whoever won it which was very nice. I was against it being still relevant and there was a girl who was for it. I studied hard for the debate, so that I could answer every question and when it came to the debate, I absolutely I am pleased to say mauled her. She tried to use that ridiculous website Everyday Sexism as a source so I deconstructed it and pretty much laughed in her face. Anyhow by the end of the debate she was close to tears and afterwards I did see crying or just trying to hold it in. I won the debate and the prize! She seems to have started to skip school for some reason and the other day, she say me and my friends coming up the street and crossed to the other side.


The thing is, that I do feel pity for her but when it comes to exams and debate, I am like a machine I will destroy anything in my path. Should I email her and tell her that while I did enjoy defeating her in the debate, she put up a good fight and she should be proud? Or should I just leave her how she is?

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I like him, he likes me, but why is it taking so long? :( </3

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I like him, he likes me, but why is it taking so long? :(

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• 6 minutes ago 6m ago

So I met this guy last week. He's a few years older than me, and we went out for coffee. I didn't expect to like him, but I did. He's smart, mature, funny, and educated. I was very nervous around him for some reason, and he sensed that. After our coffee date, i apologized via text message for being awkward, and he said it's no problem you're cute.

And then later at night, he told me he liked our coffee date and that he liked me and that I will be his soon. I began falling for him, and it's really strange, because he's the first guy out of the several I've met that made me completely forget about my ex. He makes me smile and I just get butterflies when I think of him. How did this happen? Believe me, I dont know.

So we kept messaging each other over the days and met a few more times for coffee and stuff. He calls me babe and he's really playful and flirts with me, and I flirt back. His close friend, which I happen to know, told me that his friend (my guy) really likes me.

My question is, why is it taking this long for us to become a "couple"? I mean, are we a "couple" yet? We haven't kissed yet, which I'm really dying to do btw lol. So i dont know what to do... i dont want to constantly message him because that might show that I'm too clingy? his friend told me dont over think it, he already likes u and he's pretty chilled.

I asked him if he wanted to go out for a movie (kind of like a date) and he said sure but cancelled last minute because he finished work late. After that, he messaged me feeling really bad and i was like it's fine and everything, and we flirted again.

Bottom line, I really like him. And I cant wait to "be" with him as a couple. When will this happen? Do i say something? What do I say? Do i arrange another "date"? Things are going so slowly and I'm getting really frustrated. Help?! :(

PS: I'm a guy btw if that makes a difference.

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I'm 19, she's 15

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I'm 19, she's 15

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• 27 minutes ago 27m ago

In terms of facial attractiveness I'm a solid 3, but my Call of Duty ranking is 19th prestige, meanwhile she is a solid 8 but 15th prestige. Is she out of my league?

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Women live life on easy mode

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Women live life on easy mode

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• 34 minutes ago 34m ago

I'm talking about Western culture. I won't go on about jail sentences etc. But there are some topics that have not yet fully penetrated popular culture (including this website).

1. Women can effortlessly get sex or boyfriends whenever they want.

This is well documented when using dating websites or Tinder. Even ugly / fat / deformed females get tonnes more attention than average males. Frankly, to deny this would be laughable. Yet it is rarely discussed in popular culture!

One variation of this is that people admit that women can get sex at any time but not boyfriends. This is wrong, due to the fact that they only focus on the top 20 % (for example) of males, which are the only ones who are considered boyfriend material.

2. Women do not have to choose between a career or family.

Completely wrong. You normally see this being talked about by upper middle class women on tv. What they really mean is that they don't consider getting married to men who make less than them (and who would be the ones to sacrifice their career for their kids). These women with high paying jobs could easily find husbands at the local job centre who would little to sacrifice for a family...but you don't see that happening.

3. A much higher percentage of women are overweight.

Obviously there are things to consider such as portion sizes designed for men but this really underlines how women are in the sexual selector role. Getting fat is the quickest way to wreck your attractiveness, yet women, who supposedly sacrifice a lot of their time and money to look good, are more likely to be overweight? That's an easy one to explain: men are just hugely more desperate for sex, so they overlook that attribute.

4. Women get all sorts of benefits from organisations due to political correctness

I get emails every week from my university about women only career events. Investment banks offer certain spring internships only to women (no doubt filled by public school educated ones). The tendency of most large and publicly visible organisations to have politically correct policies is obvious.

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