Seeking advice, I'm 19 years old. My family are Muslim, I live in the UK and have done all my life. I'd say in the past 2 years now I've drastically changed and started to realise that I'm very unhappy. I wrote a thread before explaining what I'd done in the past, - fell pregnant, aborted it then watched my mother go through pregnancy shortly after and then fell into deep depression. I've known for a while that I realised I'm not Muslim, I've never felt that it was the way I wanted to live my life. I am extremely and constantly down and depressed that when I walk out my front door I have too live a lie. I love my family too the moon and back, but I cannot keep on living this way too please them. Ofcourse if and when I do decide to finally take the big step my family will disown me as I will have shamed them for leaving. I need to breathe, I always have this fear whenever I've been out for a few hours socialising with friends, I always have this fear of returning t o the house, always scared if my father has seen me in town with a male or if I'm late to returning to te house and I'll get disciplined. I'm 19, graphic design student, my curfew is 5pm- apart from college days I'm allowed out 1 day out of the week , same again curfew at 5pm- I don't want people viewing this thread and thinking I want too leave because of the rules, that's partially the reason but it's not the whole reason. My father is very strict on Me, I've had 3 heart operations-I'm fine now :for my condition I am classed as disabled in this country, therefore I recieve disability money, monthly. But I don't recieve it as my father takes it and uses it for his own personal use, he's refused me to get a job and he will not sign over my money. Regardless, I do not and have always felt like this is not the life for me, I'm depressed been seeing a counsellor for over a year now, I just want advice on anyone who's in the same position as me & anyone who has general advice fo r me, Thank you.
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