| What would define cute, pretty and hot And which would you prefer to go out with? I tend to go for cute girls, I don't know why, there just so adorable and good looking and yet they dont even know it | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
girls girls girls :)
My boyfriend called me a slut and judges me for my past
| Okay, so basically, me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months now, and before I even knew him I was a person of who I regret, I slept with 4 guys and there were no feelings involved however I was very depressed at the time and thought it would make me feel better about myself..well I've learnt now it didn't, but anyway, when I met my bf, I was straight with him but he was a virgin. For a few days now he's just been questioning me about my past and wondering why I was like that and I tried to explain but it wasnt the easiest thing to explain, and he doesn't understand how you could sleep with someone and have no feelings and he says if that was a mistake how do I know I'm not a mistake etc etc and then today he was like, honestly, what I'm thinking right now is your a slut...when he knows full well how I've changed and stuff, I don't know what to do or say anymore, it's made me so down..help!! | |||
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What to do when your boyfriend ignores you?
| So, I have been with my boyfriend for just under a year, sorta was my best friend before that. I think he's been having a bad time recently, doesn't enjoy his job, and such. So, last weekend he does the whole "I think I might leave you, because I'm too stressed, you need someone better" thing, so I told him that I'd rather be there for him in this bad time, but if he wants to leave he can. Then he goes on a holiday for the week (Was planned for ages, not a 'lads holiday' was camping with his close friends) He got back yesterday, Was really happy, back to his usual self, however towards the end of the day he seemed rather distant, I thought okay, so I left him to it. So, today, I tried to speak to him, totally ignored me, so I'm giving him space. Is this the right thing to do? We have plans to go to London next weekend, and I want to know if it's still happening, is he gonna leave me etc, etc, how do I get him to talk to me? or at least to get some clarity on whats going on? | |||
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Is this socially unacceptable?
| For a girl/woman to like her own company and therefore always being single? Im nearly 28 and have never done sex, had a boyfriend or anything like that. I just like doing my own thing and I think a relationship would feel weird. I feel like im the only one like this though. People say im very quiet and reserved they ask me about boyfriends etc but i hate the question because i dont know what to say. If I say 'i prefere beng on my own' it sounds a bit odd doesnt it? | |||
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Things just got worse. A whole lot worse.
| Me and the wife have struggled since day one. We're 15 years in.. She has worked very little of this time. I posted in the general relationships about her depression, anxiety, abrasiveness, etc.. She just can't hold a job. She has no friends, and every time she gets a job, if she makes it two weeks without getting fired, she usually quits because she always claims people there are out to get her, a-holes, stressing her out, and about 1000 other reasons. So, I've somehow by miracle alone been holding things together. But it hasn't been pretty. I owe no less than 15 different bill collectors for various utilities, medical loans, etc.. We no longer have health insurance, or even a 401 k. I've dropped everything and cashed out over the years just to make rent and basic bills. Well we were really under a month ago, to the point that all seemed hopeless. I've also already sold everything I have of value on craigslist too. Then thankfully I did my taxes on Feb 1st, and got a decent refund of $2000. I used most of it just to catch up on car payments (was 2 months behind), a credit account that I was behind on, and caught us up on the rent. What I failed to factor in was the electric bill.. We owe over $500 and have a 10-day shutoff notice. The engine in my car blew up the same day. They want $2000 to fix the car, $500+ for the electricity, and I got rent and another car payment coming up on the 1st. It's hopeless. I can't say ANYTHING to her, because she will go into a depression-anxiety induced martyr syndrome and blame me for making her feel bad. Everything sets her off anymore so I have to be careful about anything I say to her on any topic. Yes she sees a psychiatrist, and gets counselling, but it really only works for about 1 day, then she's right back to crazy. The drugs used to work, but now only keep her from being that much worse. And not to mention those costs are adding to the wallet-mulching that is my life. I'm just super depressed today and venting.. we just had a fight about something so stupid that it doesn't warrant the time it takes to type it out. But that's just it- she turns the smallest thing into WW3, and if I told her about how bad things are, she would only find a way to make her shortcomings all my fault.. like I said it's all about her being the martyr.. She wants me to do everything for her, everything for the household, everything period. Then when something goes wrong, well guess who did it. ME. I'm so damn angry right now. I want to just disappear, run away to mexico and start a new life of something. This sucks. | |||
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Is it fair to get in a relationship when you still like somebody else?
| I'll keep this short, I've liked this person for around a year-ish but like nothing will happen ever ever. She knows how I feel and that's that. I'm attempting to get over her and I'm getting there but she's still in my mind a lot. Anyway, I'm talking to this new girl and she's cool, we clicked straight away, she really likes me and we're seeing each other next week and it's likely it COULD blossom into a relationship. Now i'd be happy in a relationship with her but is it fair on her if I still like this other person? What should I do? | |||
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Is this normal ?
| Help ! 23 yrs married 3 wonderful kids , wife wanted out after ea - pa . In house separation for 2.5 yrs ( tough ) then she moved out a few months ago. We're mediating the divorce. At this point , I am embarassed to say I hardly miss her , seeing her only when exchanging kids ( splitting custody.). Just wanting her to be well and feel like I'm moving forward ( after grieving for a few yrs). Is this ok ?:scratchhead: | |||
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No desire to work on things...
| Been trying to avoid my wife since our last discussion. In fact, I'm actually quite happy now that she decided to be a stubborn b-tch about things - I can avoid seeing her. I find it strange how my desire for my wife went straight down to zero since the incident on V-day (BDSM fail). I'm seeing my wife today when she arrives to pick up my daughter, the usual, if she tries to talk to me it's just going to be 'meh' talk. Am I in emotional lockdown again? *sigh* If so - this is the second time and only 3 months of seperation! Is this normal? Right now I'm hovering on the decision to either stand firm until she decides to take some responsibility for her own actions, or just call the whole reconciliation thing off because quite frankly I've lost the desire. | |||
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Solution to communication problems. Write letters
| My wife and I after several failures talking because of side arguments about unartful wording and pet peaves and other silly but derailing habits made great strides writing each other letters. This offers a number of advantages over talking 1. Hard copy 2. Nothing gets missed 3. Time to think it over 4. Less emtional 5. One at a time issue dealing 6. awesome execution of Q and A Please dont derial the thread with off topic posts, Repeat Please dont derial the thread with off topic posts | |||
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What do you think of shy guys, plus how do I get more confidence?
| I'm a 23 year old guy, and never really done anything with a girl. I haven't kissed or ever had sex with a girl but I have fooled around a little bit with a friend (like touching and 'outercourse'). Im am obviously conscious and worried about being so inexperienced cos of my age, and considering there are 14 year olds who have done more than me. It gets quite frustrating :(. I am quite a nervous person, and don't have much confidence in myself and am really rubbish at flirting. I can flirt for a bit but have no idea how to take anything further. I guess i worry to much about what a girl would think after a few dates and they expect you to kiss them and perhaps more and i would have no idea what to do. I do know that girls can tell if a guy's not experienced from how they talk and what they say, body language etc, so if they want to go out with me they will probably know anyway. Like I made a huge mistake when i was living in sweden on my own for a bit when i was 18. I was really frendly with a group of people, and there was a 21 year old medical student who I liked. We got on really really welll for weeks and always made each other laugh, could talk about anything. It was like there was a weird connection. Also, she was beautiful. Had white blonde hair (natural) and intense blue eyes. I walked her home one night cos it was late after going for drinks with friends and she asked me into her apartment. I said no and that I should proably go cos I dont want to impose. She asked if i wanted to come in and said it was cool like 9 times. I knew what that meant but i was honestly terrified. I thought she would laugh at me cos I had never kissed or anything, even though she probably knew anyway. So I went back to my apartment. I dont know why I did! I still kick myself about this cos she was the nicest girl in the world. Idiot! I have never formally been on a date but I have been out with girls who thought we were on a date cos I had asked them if they wanted to get a drink/coffee etc. I just never realise its a date. I realise like 2 weeks later thats what it was and then go '****, what an idiot'. Plus if someone is obviously into me I get really nervous and if they like that, and keep talking to me and stuff, I get even more nervous and kind of run away. Stupid I know. Its like I have no control of it at the time. I never got anyone in Uni cos of this and I tink people started to figure it out so I got really embarrased and kept myself to myself. Im like this for a few reasons, I used to really fat, got bullied quite badly and didnt have the happiest home life. But I lost all the weight etc. when I was 18 and got a good degree and tried to move on. Also, people say I'm really attractive and some say that I'm really beautiful and could be a model and stuff. I guess I had ugly duckling syndrome or something. But if they think Im attractive, why won't they try anything, unless they really are and i just dont notice which could be the reason. People have said that to me before when someone has been really into me. Basically I want to know how to take things further without worrying so much and how to stop hiding things and being ashamed of things. Im like 6ft 1, blonde hair, blue eyes, broad and do a lot of exercise. I guess I look quite nordic really. Plus I also think I'm bi, cos I find guys attractive too and would want to try some stuff. What would you guys think if you met someone like this, would it be a turn off, would it not matter, or would it be a turn on or would you simply not care. If you liked me you liked me and thats that. Or would you probably figure it out and just work with it. Plus would the confidence thing bother you? I am working on it, and being much more sociable but it takes time obviously. Plus i would never say I was lacking experience when i first met someone obviously, but it would come up eventually when it came to lissing and stuff. I would like to have a relationship, cos I'm pretty funny when you get to know me and quite loud and fun. Plus im really accepting and easy going and I think I have a lot of love to give someone. Thanks for your advice guys (sorry for the long question), plus I hope this helps any other guys in my situation or similar :) | |||
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Desparate time call for......
| Having been told ILYB in the fall by my wife of 12 years I've been making significant changes to my behavior that has driven us away from each other. Two beautiful kids of 9 and 6 and they've obviously kept us together further than had we not had them (just giving more background). Today, she asked for separation (did include that she's not sure if this is a permanent thing) and I know she needs space as it's awful trying to make things "normal" given the distance created due to a lengthy period of poor communication. Any suggestions on how to approach separate quarters (whether within the home or separate living arrangements) and a schedule with the kids? We're fortunate to have family that we can keep the kids at home and juggle schedules, but looking for advice on how frequent to "tag out" to put some serious perspective on what life could be without. Fighting the good fight..... | |||
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Falling for my close friend ... all over again
| Hi everyone, Its doing my head in. I had to share this with someone, so here goes. As the title says, I'm very sure I'm falling for my close friend all over again. I've known her since I was 15 (I'm a guy) and we've been friends ever since, now we're 23 and 24. When I was around 17, I started falling for her - I started seeing her as something more than a friend, I loved spending time with her, I missed her a lot when I wasn't with her or if I hadn't seen or spoken to her in a couple of days, always wanted to see her happy and never wanted anything to upset her. In short, I really wished we were together. I didn't think she felt the same way and at the risk of losing her friendship, I decided not to say anything. Just juding from the way she was around me, her body language and how she spoke about me to our other friends suggested that she saw me only as a friend. She really helped me out during a tough time when I had a few personal problems, and I valued her as a friend too much to even risk of ruining it all. It was hard, but I somehow managed to hide my true feelings and carry on with things as normal. Eventually, it became very difficult knowing that I loved her a lot and she didn't feel the same. I ended up having to distance myself from her - it was perhaps not the best thing to do and I still regret it. We drifted apart, especially after starting university - we went two different unis quite far apart. After we graduated, I started spending more time with her again. We were still really comfortable around each other and it was almost like picking up from where we left off 4 years ago. I felt a bit more at ease because the break/distance had meant that I was not crazy in love with her anymore. During that time, I had a girlfriend and she a boyfriend. Recently though, she broke up with her boyfriend and it was a really messy break up; she was very upset. I've managed to cheer her up, make her forget about things and in the last week, got her to smile. In the process, I've been spending a lot of time with her, chatting to her, doing things together and its almost been like old times when we were younger. Unfortunately, all my feelings for her have come rushing back - the more I see her, the more I want to be with her and tell her how much I love her. Its a crushing feeling. I know this is not the right time as well given she's just broken up with her boyfriend and is also going through a few family troubles. Its the same thing as 4 years ago - I totally love her, but I can't imagine losing her, either through a break up after a relationship together or just from a straight rejection. I also don't want to put0 more burden on her by confessing how I truly feel. Aagghhh, I just needed to spill that to someone and somewhere. Thank you for reading. I'd be glad if anyone shared any thoughts or views on a similar experience they've been through :) | |||
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Feeling sad because I don't have a bf..
| All my good friends have a boyfriend and they act very different when they are around. They give the impression of "do not disturb/contact me" while their bf are around. Which is understandable but sometimes I feel so lonely.! I don't know how to describe the feeling. The longing Ida guy that genuinely likes you. Exclusively. I often day dream and fantasise about how it would be like to have a bf. Sad to most I know but I'm almost 21 and I've never dated before. That includes touching or kissed a boy before. Boo me! Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
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I knew you were trouble when you walked in...
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Should I tell her...?
| I've liked this girl for about a year and a half now and about a year ago I would have bet my house that she liked me back, but I wasn't sure enough for some reason. Anyway, she met this guy lately at a dance thing, who flattered her into oblivion and now she's apparently in love with him after seeing him about 6 times, the general idea being that I'm not convinced. So for this past 6 months I've been avoiding talking to her about him, but every time the subject is raised I leave because I just can't deal with the situation. This past week I've just been telling myself that something needs to change, i.e. for me to tell her how I feel - possibly ruining our friendship... well, you see my predicament, what should I do? | |||
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What do women really look for?
| The age old question... Is it money? Is it power? Here is what women really look for in a true "Alpha-Male" : (None of these things is necessarily a "Game Over" if you don't have them, however, each of them matters and builds up to one main, overall, attractive person. If you focus on improving these aspects of your life, you will not only find yourself to be more attractive... But you will find better success in other aspects of your life.) 1. CONFIDENCE- You hear this all the time… women love confidence. Well, its true. But what does that mean? A man who is confident in himself will not give into her tricks and doesn't care what type of negative comments people are throwing at him because of the man he is. Women like to test a man's frame to see how his INNER confidence is. Pumping up your chest or dressing like you are a billionaire will not show a woman that you are confident. Be relaxed. Chilled out. Keep your arms by your sides. If you want to build up your confidence levels, your competence levels must rise first. This will come from real life experience… There is no book, video, post, or psychic who can put you under some type of hypnosis that will all the sudden make you more COMPETENT. Going 100 miles per hour on a Hayabusa, would you rather have confidence (according to Wikipedia: a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective) or competence (according to dictionary.com: possession of required skill, knowledge, qualification, or capacity)? Treat women the same way you would the bike and you will be successful instead of falling on your face. 2. FUNNY- There is a HUGE different between someone who is funny and someone who is a clown. Essentially, women want a man that they can feel comfortable with. There are quite few different theories about how laughter creates comfort and quite honestly, most of them have been proven true. If you can make a woman laugh she will generally feel more comfortable with you. 3. SOCIAL INTUITION- The guy who can always find his way through the crowd. He is always aware of his surrounding and in complete control of his actions. He can allow himself to be comfortable in any situation be it a crowded night club or his own living room. Having this trait will ultimately show that you are a confident person. If you and her were 300 miles from home and your car broke down, you have no tools, will you be able to find someone to fix the car and get her home safely? That's what is going through her mind and if you want the best women, that's what should be going through yours too. 4. HEALTH- Health does not mean that your abs have abs and you have basketballs where your shoulders are supposed to be. It is a shame that some men can not figure this out but make sure you are CLEAN. Shower every day, at least once a day, brush your teeth, wash your face, shave, floss, make sure your clothes are clean and all beat up… If you want a desirable WOMAN, it's time to MAN up and do this shit. Don't be afraid of feeling "feminine" because you "wash your face." The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting a different result. Many women say that they would give a guy more of an opportunity to talk if they would clean themselves up a bit. Try it. 5. STATUS- Meaning power. Whose the boss? Is it you? or does somebody else make your decisions for you? That's what she wants to know. Women have always wanted the man who is in control, the leader. They want the guy who IS the event and everybody wants to get to know. 6. WEALTH- Wealth does not necessarily mean money, it means access to different resources and a skill set that will be able to support her and her offspring. They want someone who has goals and ambition. Like I said, logically, women don't need a man to support her in today's society. But emotionally, that is what they seek. Money actually doesn't mean much to a woman once you have established the attraction between the two of you if its just MONEY. 7. PRE-SELECTED BY OTHER WOMEN- This is very simple. Women want what they can't have and what other women do have. There is an experiment that was done that scientists had placed a male penguin among several female penguins and none of them would come close to him. Then, the scientist placed a stuffed female penguin next to the male penguin, then all the female penguins started to move towards the one male. People are the same way. If you want the queen, you have to show her that you can have any princess you want first. | |||
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Simple Steps for men to Developing Your Relationship Skills
| 1. Build a Game Plan for Yourself- Having a plan when approaching anything that is difficult to understand in your life will guarantee you better results than if you were to have no plan at all. Think about if the Bears (da Bears to be correct) hit the field without having a play called. It would be a COMPLETE DISASTER! If you have been struggling with women for some time now, this will be your first step to success. We offer individualized training sessions that will help you build a strategy that is tailored to you! 2. Get Out of Your House- The hardest thing for some men to do is simply GET OUT OF THEIR HOUSE! Practice makes perfect. Read All the books and blogs you want, but until you get out there where the action is at and practice your skills, you wont see any improvement. "In order to get quality vag, you have to go out and hunt for it." 3. Stop Being a Pussy- You heard me. Beautiful women are NOT big scary monsters. If a woman is staring you down from across the bar, guess what? SHE WANTS YOU TO COME TALK TO HER! Now the question is, how are you going to do it. Hopefully you have a game plan of what you are going to say, how you are going to act, a guess on how she is going to act… it can get overwhelming. But we can help. 4. Focus on Self-Improvement- Set goals for yourself. Create a journal of openers and routines that you used that worked and didn't work. If you keep improving your skills, you will meet better quality women, which will ultimately allow you to live a better quality life. 5. Don't give up- Don't fear rejection. Expect it. People say "no" sometimes. A lot actually… Don't give up because something didn't work once. A good coach will run a play 10 times in different ways to see if he can develop a different type of outcome from the play. Trying something once and failing means your a failure. Trying something 10 times and failing all 10 times, means you learned that it doesn't work. Be smart. | |||
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5 tips for texting women
| 1. Avoid it!- That's correct. Avoid text messaging as much as possible when you first meet a woman! Yes, girls do play the texting game however, are you simply trying to become their new texting buddy? Probably not. It is very easy to send the wrong type of emotions via text message and if you should happen to screw up, it does not give you any chance to recover. Send means send. 2. Have a purpose- Text messages that simply say "Hey!" or "whats up?" are BORING! Logically think to yourself, if you spent 20 minutes talking to some stranger at a bar, and now they are texting you a day later asking what you are doing… Who are they to ask? Why would you even respond? That is what she is thinking too. 3. Slow replies are the best replies- Women don't want someone who's whole world revolves around them. If you are sitting there responding to her text messages as she sends them, you really aren't showing that you have too much going in your life. Why would she want anything to do with you? 4. Keep it playful- Avoid any type of serious or logical conversation with a woman via text message. The emotions will come off as too serious and she will instantly be turned off. 5. Play the "Waiting Game"- Don't keep sending her text, after text, after text hoping she will respond to a different question or comment! Remember, if she likes you (Which she should if you have her phone number)… She is trying not to screw things up for herself and wants to impress you too! By "bothering" her, you are simply going to turn her away from you. | |||
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“I’m not good looking enough to be with a beautiful woman…”
| Understand this, looks really don't matter. With modern day science (and I don't mean surgery… I'm talking about some simple products from Walgreens.) there aren't too many guys out there who can not clean them selves up and look halfway decent in public. Shower daily, wash your face, brush your teeth… Simply, grow up. Learn how to put together a decent outfit that works for you and get some new clothes. You don't have to look like you are rich, just don't look like a bum. If you are balding and you don't like it, shave your head. If you think you are too fat or too skinny, hit the gym and get on a diet that works for you. Consciously base your self esteem and inner confidence level on things other than women's approval! Because that is what truly attracts a woman… A good self-esteem and confidence. Be comfortable in your own skin and if you don't like something about yourself, change it. In order for a woman to be happy with you, she has to see that you are happy with yourself too. Women are very emotional creatures and can catch onto the fact that you are insecure about yourself almost immediately. If you are positive about yourself, you will give off a positive vibe, and women will respond positively to you. The Theory of Perception plays very heavily into self-esteem and self confidence. Perception involves making a decision about something based on our best guess of what we see. How does that relate to dealing with women? When you look in the mirror, if you see someone who is not confident in themselves, that is exactly what you are looking at. Look at yourself as an individual who DESERVES better quality women and that is what you will become. | |||
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South-Asian guys dating Black girls; your views?
| The title is pretty self explanatory. The reason why I asked is because I am a 16 year old black female Londoner, and was certain I didn't discriminate when it came to ethnicity and dating, but I never really saw myself with a South Asian guy, so I suppose I unconsciously dismissed them. This is was all before I had work experience in the hospital for three days, and met this AMAZING Indian doctor who I absolutely fell head over heels for. He was so charismatic, bright, considering, caring, intelligent; the list goes on. And most importantly, he was an amazing doctor. And suddenly, more and more Asian guys are becoming more attractive to me, *surprisingly*. So, in other words; if you are a South-Asian guy, would you consider dating a black girl? If you're not, have you ever witness such couples? Thanks guys :H | |||
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I think I'm gay
| Hi all, So I am at a real point of well confusion. I am 24 and for all my life well I have only dated/been with girls. Since breaking up with my ex (4-5 months back) I have started to see things differently, noticing well.....guys. I work with a guy who is gay, has a partner but I fancy him, I can't help it I think he is great. I just don't know what to do. Any help guys & girls | |||
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Confidence/flirting
| I see the world confidence plastered everywhere when it comes to attracting girls, but I don't really know what that means. What am I supposed to be confident at? I assume it's something to do with chatting up girls but I don't really know. Getting up on stage and singing karaoke in front of everyone? It seems a really generic thing to say. So, whatever it is, how does someone get this confidence? I mean, I don't have any confidence in attracting girls because I've never had any success in it. Why would I be confident? If you asked me to name football players or do something I'm good at then I'd be very confident in my ability to do so. But chatting up girls? No, why would I be? Then we come on to the flirting bit. I assume people will say something along the lines of "practice and keep trying", as that's how you get good at other things, but I don't really understand how to flirt. I haven't the slightest clue what you're supposed to do. I find it difficult enough to just hold a normal conversation with people, so somehow implying I'm sexually interested in them seems way out of my depth. To try and clarify the situation a bit, I kinda feel I'm at the point where this confidence is unobtainable. I'm only 21 but I've never had a girlfriend or done anything with a girl, so they're basically aliens to me. I hadn't even had a friend that was a girl til like 17-18 and I've never had a close friend that's a girl. It's a bit tiresome being stuck in such a foreveralone position and I'd like to do something about it, but I'm really confused as to what to do, so any help would be appreciated! If you have any questions then please quote me :) | |||
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