Why is it that women are allowed to be emotional but men aren't?

Inb4 'grow some balls'

Basically I hate my emotions. Not only are they a pain in the ass but they contradict everything I'm supposed to be. That is, completely emotionally available for any partner or anyone else, but completely in control of my own emotions to the point my worldly approach should be pure logic. |Ego should not even come into the equation

Inb4 'women like sweet, sensitive guys' no they like someone who can provide a shoulder to cry on. Reality is, if a man can't deal with his own emotions, he's unattractive

I don't feel masculine enough
Inb4 'gender dynamics are breaking down'
yes but you would still biologically be inclined to go towards the most masculine guy any extremes excepting e.g. domestic case

I don't understand how to deal with this double standard. The double standard which says if I say 'I don't want to drink (because it might make me paranoid) or 'I need to get some sleep (if you don't want me to bit my head off)' is going to make me less of a human being

I try hard to be a creature of logic but I often fail

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Why is it so hard to find someone?

Even if you're goodlooking its really hard, my course is all guys and I don't really get the chance to meet girls. I wouldn't bother online cause i've heard its no good for dudes only girls really.

What's a guy to do? it seems like everyone is paired up and i'm getting into my 20's now and my whole family are always asking why i don't have a girlfriend and even thought I was gay! when i tell people I just can't find one they seem surprised but honestly it's the hardest thing ever! not even just getting one to like you but being in the position to meet someone new

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He is a MARRIED man!

This guy at work who I see every single day. I know its bad that I have a crush on him but I find him devastatingly attractive. This started before I saw the ring on his finger. :( We have never spoken nor does he know my name, but I know his (through stalking him :p ) He is all i think about at work and I really cant take my mind off him. He works next door to me but we go past each other everyday and exchange a respectful smile . Seeing him drives me crazy. I start having palpitations!

All I want is some advice on how I should try and overcome such feelings that I have for him. I only found out that he is married today after seeing the ring and it was quite upsetting. All I really want is him out of my mind!

Please help :(

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my friend removed me on facebook after i posted a racist statement

Thats what i suspected.

I posted a famous quote on my wall that might be interpreted as racist.

and soon i realise that one of my friend is missing from my friendlist. (thx to my sharp sense). He did not create a new account its the same account, and i readded him but he did not accept.

I will miss him cause hes really a cute guy and i want him in my friendlist. :(

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If your trying to protect someone from something.....

If you were trying to protect someone from a situation that you know would cause him upset, and unsettle him, would you become a bit distant to him, If it is causing YOU anxiety & stress because of this? I know you're doing it because you care but would you kind of blame him if blames the right word...

Also biting your nails, what can it signify?

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Loneliness at University of Lincoln

Basically I've just been thinking, it's an extremely odd scenario as I'm surrounded by people 24/7 and yet I feel incredibly lonely. I have terrible anxiety and every time I try and talk to people my heart goes a bit mental. I have great friends back home and my flatmates are absolutely brilliant as well but in my workshops and seminars, I tend to find myself sat alone, in silence while other people are chatting away. It's a crappy feeling really because up till now I've never really had issue with making friends, but since I got to Uni I seem to have completely retreated into my shell...

I dunno...Any advice or similar stories to share?

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Girls: Do you expect the guy to do all the chasing?

Okay. So I like this girl and I managed to get her number. I texted her the first 3 times and she genuinely seemed interested to have a conversation and it went good. But she never starts the conversation, we last spoke a week ago. I know there's this thing of how girls don't want to seem too keen or annoying but if I start another convo, it'd be for the fourth time, and pride is just dying by the second and I'll start looking too keen. I'd understand if she gave really **** one word responses but she doesn't, so I'm so damn confused. Do I just move on or what?

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If i approach her and she rejects me.

There is this girl that i fancy at college and i am scared that if i approach her and she rejects me i will have to see her everyday for the next two years
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I don't think I can date.

On a dating site, I have a few people surprisingly wanting to meet me. I have been chatting to all 4 of them and they all want to meet for a drink or do something.

They seem friendly enough but when ever I read a message about they wanting to meet me, I just freeze up and get anxious.

I feel weird in the stomach like I am starving or something, butterflies even. I swear my hands are shaking as well.

I like them but I don't want to meet them if you know what I mean? One of them asked me again thinking she didn't send the message but it was due to me ignoring it.

Why am I feeling like this?

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Uni has made me reckless :'(

hi, i just made this post to sorta ask other people if they've been somewhat reckless in who they sleep with at uni... I feel really crap about myself and feel like a slag, but I don't want guys to view me as one :(

I'm 20. I came to uni as a virgin; I lost my virginity on freshers week with a one-night stand, I was drunk, he was drunk... drunken sex occurred... that was all safe though, we used a condom etc...

then I slept with someone else in freshers week, again drunken sex and a one-night stand, but this time it was unprotected, I felt like such a fool afterwards and swore to myself i'd never have unprotected sex again

but then last night, I was drunk, again and had unprotected sex with someone else. I feel really low in my self-esteem right now because i've never been in a proper relationship, ever... and I tried to keep my virginity for as long as possible, but uni has made me turn into a person I never thought i'd be :(

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Church,Children & Infidelity

Hi all this is my 1st time but i need advice.My husband & have been married for 10+yrsand we have 3kids togehter Like others it was rough. Breakup up get back together,etc. My husband was my 1st.Before my 1st&while dating he got someone else pregnant and I didn't find out truth til 5years later after we were married.Heard rumors of it. While dating he cheated and fought me.Came to see me probably 3 times while dating and was very jealous. He sold drugs and didnt support me and the kids at all.After getting engaged he things still didnt change. One day we had a big fight bc i askd for diaper money and he said no. We fought and i left his house. A guy I knew from around the way was at my parents' when i got there.I was crying and he comforted me.afew days later i went out with him,his sis saw me and she told her brother. This was 14yrs ago and since then we've broken up bc he's cheated too. For years he's asked me if i had sex with anyone other than him an d for awhile i told him no bc i was scared he would fight me& to protect his feelings(dumb right).as years went by and the torture kept gettin worse i said yes but i didnt get into detail.so he asked about it yesterday and i told him yes ive been with another man other than him and it was after i put him out for cheating on me.he really expected me to keep my legs closed while he did wrong.(i tried too tho) he always assumed i slept with every guy i dated& i havent. he aksd for the truth and now he cant take it.ive only been with afew men in my life.3 including him. i was born and raised in church and i take our kids to church every sunday and bible study and he sits home.its hard but i maintain with Gods help. now hes not talkn and acts like i owe him something. it happens years ago and the men ive been with he doesnt even know.but yet he tries to make me look like im the bad person when im not. what should i do

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House of cards

Hello everyone,

I have been married for four years. We got married when I was pregnant, and after our child was born I discovered my husband was in love with another woman at the time of our wedding, and even wrote to her after our wedding to reaffirm this fact. He claimed it was completely in the past and that he truly loved me now, and that should matter. We began going to church as a family, and he started acting happier, so I got really involved (even though I am not a believer and had told him that many times before). Periodically he would get in these moods that just made me think he hated me. He is like this stormy angry cloud. Whenever I talk to him about it, he will get better for a few weeks, and then go back to angry. He is a pessimist, and he doesn't have the ability to see the cup as anything but mostly empty.

Anyway, money is a big deal to him, so I got a part time job and discovered the person I had been before him who was happy and had friends. I would come home happy, and he would immediately be in a bad mood again which would drag me down. After a year, he decided I really needed to work full time, so I got another job, put our child in preschool and started making friends again at this new place. Now I have friends from my old job and new job who like to get together with me. We have play dates once a week as families and once a month a girls night. I really enjoy these outings and look forward to being with my friends more than my husband. He is just not fun. Even trying to do things with him is unfun. He hates movies, bowling, karaoke, malls, parks and really anything that I find to be really fun. So I start planning to do these things without him, with our kid and without, and I encourage him to go out with his friends and do what he likes (watch sports and talk about boo ks).

Now he is angry again because I spend "so much time" with my friends and he feels left out. I don't do half the things I am invited to because I don't want to make him mad. I've quit my book club, I've left early from girl's night, I've tried to invite him to come on play dates (he doesn't like the other dads, so he doesn't feel comfortable there). He just wants me to stay home with him. He goes to his office and works and leaves me and our child to do whatever on our own. Or we go out to eat and come straight home. He says I text "too much" (I maybe send 50 texts in a month) and accused me of cheating on him (I'm not).

Now he is angry that I made a decision without his input to go back to a social media site I had quit when we got married. He didn't talk to me at all yesterday. I also told him I can't keep going to church with him because I feel like a fraud and it makes me miserable. It seems the more I assert myself and become more than mommy and wife, the more distant and angry he gets. I feel like he can never truly love the person I am, only the function I provide as wife and caretaker. He never seemed this traditional before, but now I am starting to make connections. I don't want to break up our family, but I don't know how to live with someone who just cannot seem to ever be happy. I was talking to a friend about all of this recently, and the question of what it is about me that makes him unhappy came up. Now I don't know.

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Great marriage, unresolved issues.

Hi everyone. This is my first time visiting these forums (read some great threads today). It's also my first time ever talking about these issues. With anyone. So I really appreciate any advice/feedback you can give. Also, be blunt, I have thick skin. I'm going to have a hard time organizing this, so please bear with me.

My husband and I married 2 years ago. This new years eve we'll have been together 4 years. Our marriage is pretty strong, but recently I've been plagued with doubts & unresolved issues.

I've dated quite a few people, and after breakups (especially if I was the one to get dumped) I always got quite depressed and missed them terribly, had obsessive thoughts about them. But they always went away, until now.

Before my husband, my most significant relationship was with the guy I met in college. We dated for the last 2 years of school, but then we both moved apart to different cities. We tried the long distance thing, and there were some great moments, but it was rough. Eventually he found a new partner, strung us both along together for a while before dumping me. Him and that partner are now engaged.

On the night we officially called it off I ended the conversation saying "I wish that one day we'd get another chance to make it work, both living in the same city." He said something non-committal, trying to be "nice" (that was always his problem, trying to be "nice" which really just made it harder). I was inconsolably devastated.

Two weeks later I met my current husband. I was really apprehensive about dating again after having so recently gotten out of a long relationship, but it was going really well, so I decided to not think about it too hard. After 9 months we moved in together. After a year and a half we got married. It's now 2 years after that.

For the first year of so after the breakup, I couldn't stop thinking about my ex. But I was falling in love with my husband. Eventually the obsessive thoughts faded, mostly. I still think about my ex and miss him sometimes. I hate to say it, but I still consider him probably the most attractive man I've ever seen. I really thought he'd be the one I'd marry.

I don't keep in touch with my ex at all. I hid him on Facebook so I wouldn't see his posts. But a year ago he messaged me and said he'd be in town, and he'd love to see me and we should get dinner. Of course tremendous emotions all flared up, but I'm an adult right? I needed to move on. So we agreed, and got dinner, and it was fine. He even used my name once when he really meant his partner. I felt sickeningly proud. He didn't even know he did it.

Another year since that, and he's back in town, and wants me and my husband to hang out with him and his partner for a night out. When he messaged me this time I had all the usual flare-ups of apprehension, anger, regret, and sadness. But I've agreed, and we're going to hang out tomorrow. Because it's something that makes me afraid, I should do it, right? Ignoring this problem isn't going to make it go away; it hasn't so far. But seeing him last year seems like it didn't help.

I guess I should point out some of my flaws. I'm tremendously good at self-deception. I also carry grudges fiercely. Not that I have many them. The other big one is one kid from middle school. He used to harass me for being overweight every single day. Still, whenever I hear his name, I get filled with rage.

I realize that this is focusing a lot on my ex, and not my husband. And I'm not sure why that is. My husband and I love each other, have a lot in common, and our disagreements are rare, and only about minor things.

I've never been one to talk about myself, and I've never had any therapy. Any advice, or questions you could ask, would help. I just want to move on from my ex, forgive and forget, and move on with my marriage.

Thank you so much!

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Was I wrong?

I am not married and i guess never will be. My gf did the same cheating routine .. phase by phase.. Beat up the other guy.. almost took out his eye..
And i realised later if there is no trust there is no relationship.. We are scared of ending a relationship, no matter how painful for the fear of loneliness. Trying to keep a relationship alive without trust is the worst you can do to yourself . "No matter how you mend broken glass cracks would show." I ended the relationship two years ago. Ex gf got married and guess what, tried to cheat on her husband with me. But when I look at her I feel only revulsion. Informed her husband and changed my number.
Only thing that has been gnawing at me is - did I rob that man from a chance of a happy life?

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After being rejected, why try to get lucky again the next day?

So there's a current open thread called "Rejection excuses"

My question now is, if your spouse rejected you last night and gave you whatever excuse....why would you try your luck again tonight because chances are she/he will reject you again.

My husband rejected me 5nights ago. He hasn't come on to me and I haven't come on to him ever since because I don't want to get rejected again...i don't know what his reasons for staying this long are though. We both have mid sex drives and normally do it atleast every 2nd day. Last night i ended up masturbating because i just wanted it so bad, same thing will probably happen tonight.

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Need advice may have cheating wife but not sure

I've been married to my wife for 16ys. We have 2 wonderful children ages 10 and 4. The past 2 yrs of our marrage has been wonderful. Our sex life is unbelievable we cannot keep our hands off each other. They have been the best years of our marraige. We just relocated to another state and absolutley love it here. Currently we both have well paying jobs that are about equal in pay. We have never had any marital problems and have an unbeilivable trust and loyalty in each other.

My wife has a very close friend that I will call her N. Those two were like sisters and moving 500 miles away has been tough on them. To make a long story short N is having marital issues and very unhappy. N is the type that will definately cheat.

Now to my wife. Lately she has been acting funny and guarding her cell phone with her life so to speak. I noticed she password protected her phone when it has not been locked at all. I figured out the password and started looking around.

N definately has eyes on another man, but my wife seems to have a crush on a coworker I'll call J. I've read several text where my wife says he's good looking and such. One day I was heart broken when N ask my wife if "J has took her down yet". My wife just blew the questioin off.I did not confront her with this.

I've noticed that my wife is deleting some of the text between her and N. Last night my wifes tex was deleted and N's reply was "just put him in the freind file and move on". Then later in the conversation N ask "are you and J bettter?" my wife replies "no, we've had to work together all day and he's lookin so hot and telling me how good I look. that bastard" Then later my wife text "no sex for me today to many phone alerts".

I've been monitoring her text and emails with J. Nothing out of the ordinary. Strictly business, no holes in text messages. Everything looks normal and exceptable. I know J and his wife and he is stand up guy and not the type of person who would have an affair with a married woman. This leads me to believe that my wife is just living some sort of wierd fantasy with N. I'm really confused and dont understand it. She has never giving me reason to believe she is having an affair. No real changes in work schedule. Worked one weekend and we (kids and I ) suprised her with lunch and everything was normal.

Am I being scared for nothing? I would love to think this just some sort of fun fantasy that she is having with N. Maybe she is just potraying a "bad girl" image to N for fun knowing N would never know if she we was really cheating being so far away. Like I said, her conversations with N are the only thing that throws up red flags. Nothing with J even remotely suggest they are having an affair.

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I have a date this weekend. But not with my wife.

I have been a forum member for a couple of years and have a few hundred posts. I can't imagine I've not slipped up and left my signed-on account open in all of that time. My wife surely knows me on here, so I've created a new account for this post. I hope that is OK.

Married 15 years, together a few before that. A few years ago I figured out my wife hadn't loved me for a long, long time. No ILYBINILWY speech, but her actions speak louder than words. I forced her to admit a few things during our discussions on the topic.

I don't think she was ever physically attracted to me. She married for safe then gave up. Neither one of us are going anywhere. We're older, our kids are older. We're not splitting up our lives just because we don't have the perfect marriage.

Well, I hooked up with a friend of mine a few weeks ago, no sex, but a pretty heavy make-out session with hands flying around. I got the OK for sex that night, but the situation wasn't right. I plan on fixing that this weekend.

For the first time in at least 10 years I kissed a woman who desired my kisses. A woman who wanted me badly as we fooled around. I was not then and will not this weekend be cheating on my wife. She married me in a lie and continued that lie for a long, long time. She stole this from me many years ago and didn't even have the balls to tell me. Well, I'm not divorcing her and I'm not living like a hermit for the rest of my life.

Sunday afternoon "let's watch football" date. I plan on consummating our "relationship" then. I cannot wait to see what it is like to have sex with a woman who desires me. It has been a long, long time.

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Miserable

I am in need of advice. I was the cheater but it only last a few weeks. Bad enough I know. I am repentant and have made as much restitution as is humanly possible and have never done this again nor will I ever do it again. I just need to know how to get my relationship right with my wife. Its been over two years.

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Dilemma

My friend is 37 years old working in a MNC doing quite well for herself and has a 8 year old boy. Hers was a love marriage to a small-time doctor but she couldnot adjust in joint family so left his house within 5 years of marriage and shifted to her moms house in the same city. But both hubby n wife were meeting on weekends and this continued for 3 more years. Later she felt this was not working as the kid was crying without father so she asked hubby to stop visitng her totally. So he stopped weekend end visits too.

Hubby is my friend too , we are all common friends. He couldnot leave his parents and start a new family with wife. He sort of got used to staying alone. Wife's parents were on her side and never let daughter to move in or compromise with in-laws. In-laws( doc's parents) are nice people but my friend never got along with them or even his sister.

But the doc hubby is still in love with wife and he himself confessed to me many times. He was just helpless and couldnot take a decision to be with parents or wife.
Now things suddenly changed when the kid turned 8 and wanted dad to stay with them. So he was called by the kid and his mom for diwali to their house. Discussions again started on where to stay as the kid was growing up and . But the doc didnot inform his parents that he would be staying at his inlaws place and try to convince the lady and bring her home. He lied to them that he was there for 20 days only. He is planning to extended slowly till he convinces wife to come home.
He doesnot want to live separately as it means leaving his old parents alone.
Im friends with both husband and wife and they ask me for advice.
I actually dont know if the guy really loves his wife as he doesnot want to stay in her parents house and also separately leaving his parents.
WOrse thing is this lady and her parents brainwashed the little child that his dada's house is dirty and they dont let his dad to come n meet him. They poisoned his little brain so he thinks nana's house is his house.
He wants her to come back but she is not comfortable.
the lady threatned the hubby to give him a divorce but never did. Hubby is not ready for divorce and loves his wife.
How do you think this will end?
Can he remain in inlaws place forever? How long can he lied to his parents?
Will the child let him go even if he wants to?
What do u think will happen now?
What advice should I give as a friend?
What amazes me is how can a husband still love a wife like her? or is he lying?
The guy says he cant leave his son now but how he can stay in inlaws place? So what would happen now? How do you guys foresee the future of this marriage?

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EA or PA: Need Advice

Hello. I've been reading this forum for a while but this is my first post. Here's my story.
I found out that my husband was having an affair 7 weeks ago after I noticed on our phone bill that he had been exchanging 2,000 text messages per month with a number I didn't know. So I waited for him to get home and fall asleep and I went through his phone, wallet, car, bag, pockets. I found out who she was and I read all of their messages that were still there: many messages were missing in the middle of a day's worth of texts and I found one from her that said only "delete that". I didn't find anything sexual but I just assumed that the relationship was.
That same night I jumped the gun and confronted him. I woke him up in the middle of the night after just steaming for hours and I told him (loudly haha) that I had read all of his text messages including the ones he deleted, I had seen all of the picture messages he had been sending and I knew everything. Of course I didn't know what kinds of pictures they had exchanged except a couple of really normal ones of things and one of her dressed in some kind of fugly hobo costume that I found and I hadn't read the ones he deleted but he doesn't know anything about technology and I do. So I proceeded like I knew everything and I was going to give him one chance to tell me the truth about each question I asked, hoping that he believed I already knew the answer. He says that there was no sexual contact, only talking and one incident of an inappropriately intimate hug (like too long, emotional) on the last occasion they saw each other before she went to another state for work for 6 mon ths.

So here's the timeline as I can figure:
June 24-July 25 They meet in a class and do a big final project together
July- Text messages increase but I can't see to whom they are sent anymore (records are kept for 90 days)
August- She leaves the state
September 20- D-Day

I have been conducting routine searches of our apartment/his car looking for a second cell phone/SIM card, any paper communications, I have a keylogger on our computers, I pulled his credit report looking for secret credit cards and I regularly monitor the usage data on our cell phone account and check his phone every few nights. I haven't found any suggestion of any no contact agreement violations and he swears that he hasn't had any communication with her since he ended it (under my supervision). I continue to look for evidence of a sexual relationship but I fear it's too late to ever prove that on my own. I have asked him many times and in many ways if the relationship was physical and his story hasn't changed but it's been clearly established that he's a liar so this isn't enough for me to believe it was emotional only. I asked him if he would take a polygraph test to prove that he's telling the truth and he agreed without flinching.

Some background:
We are both 26 and have been married for 5 years. We got married young while he was in the military. We're both students, no kids, no property.

What do you guys think? Does it sound like he's on the up and up or do you see anything fishy? What else would you do to find the truth?

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Just need to vent

Sex with my wife was hot until three years ago, when she had her Physical Affair (PA). I felt rejected not only by this, but also by her insistence that she was going to concentrate on her friends. She never fully understood what I was going through. Then I found myself in the arms of another woman. I shouldn't have done it; I was lonely. This happened 6 months after her PA. To this day she hasn't forgiven me.

She never was one much for affection, but now it's non-existent. We are lucky if we have sex now twice a month. I'm 50 years old and I'm having trouble with my sex drive. Cialis helps a lot, but she thinks it's psychological. She says that it's because of my guilt for what I did. She doesn't believe that it's because my testosterone level is dropping and it's difficult to get an erection. She gets mad if I can't get it up. She gets mad if I can get it up and don't last long.

She has transferred all of the problems we are having to me alone.

I have asked her to go to joint marriage counseling in the past. She has refused this and has gone to marriage counseling alone. She said that she needs to take care of herself. She keeps saying that she's unhappy.

It will be 25 years of marriage next April. It's frustrating living like this. All of our kids are grown, except for our 12 year old daughter. I think I keep hanging in there for her. My world has turned upside down, but I don't want hers to if her parents separate and/or divorce.

Thank you for your time.

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I feel rejected when husband masturbates.

I posted a few months ago about my husband never initiating and instead choosing to masturbate daily. This is something we've worked on and it tends to get better for a little while and then go back to the way it was. He still insists that he always wants me and it has nothing to do with a lack of love or attraction.

This week we had another lonnnnng talk about it. My drive is high enough where I could have sex every day, he has made it known that his drive is slightly lower but not by much. This week we had sex three nights in a row (!!!) several times a night, and yesterday took a break because I wasn't feeling good (just tired mostly---our daughter woke me up earlier than usual). I actually would have still been up for it, but he made no moves during the day and wasn't very receptive to my initiating affection. I figured he would be ready to have a day off anyway because we're both working on meeting each others needs right now and we just three days of amazing sex!

Anyway, today I brought up the break and said I hoped he's ready for tonight because I miss him and I'm definitely in the mood. (This was over chat while he's at work). I've noticed when I let him know earlier in the day he is usually all about it later on that night. Eventually it came out that last night he did masturbate. Even though this bothered/bothers me, I didn't say anything and acted okay with it (especially because I know being bothered by this is most likely irrational)... I just said something like 'I knew it! You do want it daily... glad we're on the same page about that :)'

Maybe it is because of our history but I'm feeling very rejected. I wish he had at least told me he was in the mood last night because I would have been up for it. I know I *shouldn't* take it as a rejection, I know guys do this from time to time. But I can't help it, I do! I don't want to be. I don't want to be so bothered with it that I have to bring it up with him later, that will just cause problems and we seem to be in a good phase right now.

I guess I'm not sure what I'm asking... he had just made it sound like every other day would be preferable to him, yet after three days he still had the need to masturbate? Do men who get frequent sex from their wives still prefer masturbating sometimes? Would anyone else feel rejected by this or take it personally? Any ideas on how to NOT take it so personally?

I'm not sure it would even be an issue if we weren't in this endless cycle of him putting in effort for a few days, and then going back to just taking care of things himself until it is brought up again. I've made a HUGE effort to be more open about sex, let him know often how much I want him, and make sure he knows it doesn't have to be a big production. We can have quickies if that's all he's in the mood for.

Am I doing something wrong or am I over-thinking this/making too much out of it?

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Wife is a rude morning person!

So after 8 years of marriage I have already figured out that my wife can be quite rude or obnoxious in the morning by talking too loudly, waking me up to ask silly questions that could have waited, or just plain being real noisy while I am trying to sleep!

Take for instance this morning; I don't have to be into work until noon but had a dental appointment at 9:00am so I wasn't getting up until about 8:00am, but my wife is up at 5:30am every morning for work and for some reason was extra noisy today! So after dealing with her turning on hallway lights and being noisy in our bathroom I was up and down until about 7:00am, and then I fell back asleep finally but once that alarm went off I was DEAD tired so I did not get up, which means I had to call and cancel my appointment until Monday because of her morning behavior.

So does anyone else have a spouse that needs proper morning skills or should have learned all that long ago? And before anyone asks the answer is YESSSS we have "talked about this" repeatedly, and she claims it is not on purpose and that I need to learn how to ignore things better.

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What do you think

Hi My girl friend and i parted company about 17 months ago not because of infidelity but we could never agree on anything i said some thing she would go the opposite a very long drawn out relationship so in the end i said had enough i am off and left .A month went by and i was told that she was quiet happy in another relationship so go away i dont think she was seeing anybody else before but i think one of her family or friends fixed her up with someone and she was happy she said when she meet him she had a warm and fuzzy feeling for him straight away so i thought ok that is that As time went on i had a couple of issues which i wanted to know about so i text her and said how about a cup of tea in your local cafe or where ever she replied no so after a while i replied ok i do not understand why but if that is what you want ok i am not trying to get you back or wish to harm you in any way but you will have lost the best friend you ever had she replied i do nt know how it has come to this but of course i will have a cup of tea with you and sent me an email as well.since then 6 months ago we have meet 3 times first time i kept it to ten minutes all very light the second time i notice she had put on loads of weight so afterwards i sent her a email and said you are getting to heavy, reply was not as expected lots of abuse but said she knew roll forward 4 months and in she comes dress very smartly lost loads of weight nice and thin and lots of changes made new car brought that week and full of smiles what do you think she is trying to say to me

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So angry but can't let it go!

My problems after reading a few threads here don't seem half as bad but still trying to make a decision on the marriage
We are both 23 and have a 1 and a half year old I work full time and make a better the most living but with it comes travel usually 1 to 2 weeks a month and so much stress I'm the first one in my family to get grey hairs before 50. I have been with my wife since we were 17, in 6 years we have been through some ups and downs, she suffered from depression for a while and over came it now, we got married, had a perfect baby boy( little bit bias I know), bought a house and all the other ups and downs you get with a baby and a new home. In the last year we haven't really had a sex life and things are only getting worse, it has left me questioning the dynamic of our relationship and from my view and from some others(not just my family and friends) it has been an absolute battle to try and make it work. I have spoken to her on 4 occasions in the last 9 months and tried to explain my unhappiness in the relationship and even told her what I wanted exactly. I said I wanted to go away o n weekend trips more (camping/fishing/motorbike riding/4wd'ing/swimming just outdoors having fun as a family and as a couple and with friends) I also said I wanted a more active sex life how I'm not happy with once or twice every other month isn't for me and I can do more or not at all meaning no more kids it was really bothering me always trying to romance her and sacrificing time on other things like sleep and finishing off around the house and work and being constantly rejected the 3 times before this she feed me the normal bs lines of I ll try but I'm tired with looking after our son (I do it most of the time when I'm home and I cook and clean and have a cleaning lady) but last time she told me "I only like romance, please don't talk about sex.....I only do it because you want it and I don't want you to leave" this has been eating at me for a month now I tried to ask what she doesn't like about making love she said "I'm like Kurt from glee"(I stared blankly at her like W TF) "He likes romance but soon as sex is mentioned puts his hand over his ears and sings lalalalalala I just don't want to know about it" I tried to ask if I had done anything bad recently to which she went to bed and closed the door she came out about an hour later and asked me to pick her back (it's a weird little thing we do I basically just scratch her back as if it was covered in itchy bites one at a time) when I said when I come to bed. I don't sleep well when I'm thinking this much, she stormed off and closed the door again, I went to go to sleep about an hour later and she had locked it locking me out of the room which had my keys and my wallet I would have just gone to a hotel for the night if I could of got my wallet I knocked a few times but she didn't answer I ending up couch surfing that night I woke up so angry and haven't been able to let it go since I didn't speak a word to her for 4 days I couldn't bring myself to even touch or look at her I sent her 1 text that morning as I left for work and it was "if something's wrong with Hudson text me" and the was all I could stand to say to her she tried calling and texting me but couldn't stand her at the time, after the 4 days she tried to kiss me while handing our son to me and I dodged her and took our son and she then asked why and I told her and she just looked at me told me get over it. I have been trying I forced myself for days to talk to her now I can talk to her and fake the whole thing emotions and facial expressions to match. Whilst I was at home the past week or so I haven't felt right just so frustrated and annoyed and unable to sleep within 2 days of being away I could sleep (unusual for me as I hate most hotel mattresses) but still frustrated and angry again. I'm probably putting this in the wrong topic but I am seriously thinking of leaving her just don't know if its save-able or if I can get rid of these feelings. I have been considering IC and MC but she is against MC and won't go, I guess what I want to know has any been in this spot with something seemly small just making you so angry and annoyed to where you are serious about throwing the towel in on it? And if anyone has a suggestions please be my guest
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