What was the situation and was it by someone you knew or a randomer?
I always hear about guys complaining about harsh rejections but us girls can suffer from it too!
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Girls have you ever been rejected harshly by a guy?
Molestation?
Hey everyone,
recently I've received a lot of card warnings from the TSR community for misusing the anonymous function but though this is not about relationships, it is about a really sensitive topic that is very personal to me. I just wanted to be a warning out there that I'll be asking and speaking on the topic of sexual molestation.
After really understanding what sexual molestation is once growing up and knowing it's wrong, I realised I was failed as a kid because it was something I faced. I used to think as long as I wasn't raped, it was ok for that person to touch me etc and wanted to protect them. This happened years ago but I was sexually molested by my uncle, my mother's brother but I don't want to get into details about it. Let's just say I told my parents and my aunt who lived with us and nothing happened. My aunt was even there once when he touched me inappropriately. My mother never let me stay alone with him ever again and apparently he was warned by my grandmother that if he tried to do something, she would kill him.
I'd just like to get answers and help about this, the question I'd like to know is how does a parent deal with a situation where your child has told you your sibling i.e brother touched them inappropriately? I feel bad for my parents because they did not know what to do and I realised my mother was ignorant to how to handle the situation. It's touchy because when it's family, you want to protect them and avoid bringing shame to the family's name etc. But I want to be a parent one day and God forbid my baby faces something like that, but I'd like to know how to handle situations. I don't want to be ignorant like my mother, parents.
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Randomly slept with local manwhore and now he's messaging me every day?...
Ok so I might regret not posting this anonymously. :$ Basically I met an old acquaintance while out with friends, he got a few of us to come back to his, and you know the story.
I say manwhore, but really it's just that he hasn't had a girlfriend but seems to have slept with several people in our circles, and the whole thing of rushing me into bed instead of gradually wooing me would seem to suggest it was equally casual this time.
But now he keeps chatting to me online. And we've planned to spend a weekend together (we live in different cities) and he's made some vaguely romantic sounding suggestions about what to do together, etc. ...And he even started reading a philosopher I like just so we could talk about it.
I have no experience with doing anything outside of relationships so I have no idea how to respond to his affectionate messages, whether to let myself feel anything, etc.
Is it most likely a summer fling? Will he lose interest in a couple of months?
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PE really hurt my marriage.
3 years into our marriage my husband started having PE. In the beginning I would say it's okay, we will just try again later. Well each time after we had sex and he would ejaculate prematurely, he would pretty much just roll over and go to sleep. He wouldn't say anything, or hug and hold me afterwards. It's not like we were barely having sex, I was initiating 1-2 times daily some days, but we almost always had sex at least once daily. For years I dealt with him being cold and affectionate afterwards. I would go to bed crying afterwards just wish he would talk to me and hold me afterwards. I couldn't talk to him about it because he would just shutdown. After a while our sex life died down a bit. I would go to sleep crying just wishing he would desire me, and initiate sex. I felt so unwanted and unloved. I asked for changes to happen, the asking turned into crying and pleading, then finally I just stopped even trying. 7 years later he decides to get help an d went and seen a DR. I can't tell you if he followed the DR's orders. I can't say if he actually worked on the things books said to do on his own, but I tried a few times doing what the book instructed the partners to do (playing with him, and doing the start and stop method) but I never once got a thank you or felt appreciated so I gave up trying. This whole situation still hurts me, his actions affected my self-esteem, and I still resent him for waiting so long to get help and for leaving me starved for intimacy. We are separated right now, more like in limbo (his doing not mine). Well I was just wondering if anyone has gone through something similar, and looking for people's thoughts and idea on the situation.
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Ladies - need info
Lurking on the forums for a while and need more information. See my question below (last sentence).
My story. I'm 48 and have been married for 21 years, most happily, but we've had our more than fair share of issues over the years.
We have 3 kids, 2 of whom are in college, with one home (3 years until she enters college).
For the first 10 years of marriage - we had an awesome sex life - but it was at the expense of her borderline personality disorder and being at the receiving end of her mood swings. She was never officially diagnosed - as she refused to seek any counseling, but based on my research and understanding of the disorder, she fit many of the criteria. The "I hate you - don't leave me" disorder.... I was walking on egg shells all the time.
Things changed about 11 years ago when I had had it and was out the door. She agreed to see a doctor ... Which she did and she was put on a daily low dose of Prozac. No longer walking on egg shells after a month.
The downside - killed her labido. From 2-4 times per week to once a week to now, once every 2 months (if I'm lucky). She won't even snuggle.
So - I've been reading on the forum about how women need to aroused to feel desire to have sex.
On occasion, when somehow a risqué movie came on a premium channel - I did notice that she did respond. I would like to try this again, but actually deciding to put such a movie on for either of us is awkward. Plus - I was always of the thinking that desire first than arousal. Mind you- she doesn't like talking about this (I would and do).
So - my question - how do you feel about soft porn (or any porn for that matter) to arouse you? Does it work?
My story. I'm 48 and have been married for 21 years, most happily, but we've had our more than fair share of issues over the years.
We have 3 kids, 2 of whom are in college, with one home (3 years until she enters college).
For the first 10 years of marriage - we had an awesome sex life - but it was at the expense of her borderline personality disorder and being at the receiving end of her mood swings. She was never officially diagnosed - as she refused to seek any counseling, but based on my research and understanding of the disorder, she fit many of the criteria. The "I hate you - don't leave me" disorder.... I was walking on egg shells all the time.
Things changed about 11 years ago when I had had it and was out the door. She agreed to see a doctor ... Which she did and she was put on a daily low dose of Prozac. No longer walking on egg shells after a month.
The downside - killed her labido. From 2-4 times per week to once a week to now, once every 2 months (if I'm lucky). She won't even snuggle.
So - I've been reading on the forum about how women need to aroused to feel desire to have sex.
On occasion, when somehow a risqué movie came on a premium channel - I did notice that she did respond. I would like to try this again, but actually deciding to put such a movie on for either of us is awkward. Plus - I was always of the thinking that desire first than arousal. Mind you- she doesn't like talking about this (I would and do).
So - my question - how do you feel about soft porn (or any porn for that matter) to arouse you? Does it work?
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I need to get out of this marital home before I go insane...
Hi Guys...just need to vent mostly.
My house is on the market. I have had three offers on my home. The first two fell apart. The third one, which came immediately after the second one crumbled yesterday, is now dying it's own slow death. We are still in negotiations, but it is not looking promising for me.
I have sold a few homes in my time (even in a bad down market) and have never experienced such entitlement from potential buyers.
Is fate trying to tell me that I should not be moving?
I want to get out of this house. There are too many memories here. Good memories that were tainted by the discovery that my entire marriage was based on lies.
I am normally a fairly stable person, but right now I am a complete wreck. I realized it's not about "selling" the house, but getting away from it and how it makes me feel. My kids have dubbed it the "lying house" and they want out too. We all just need a fresh start.
I am not sure how I am going to cope with the fact that I may have to stay in this house for an indefinite amount of time.:crying:
My house is on the market. I have had three offers on my home. The first two fell apart. The third one, which came immediately after the second one crumbled yesterday, is now dying it's own slow death. We are still in negotiations, but it is not looking promising for me.
I have sold a few homes in my time (even in a bad down market) and have never experienced such entitlement from potential buyers.
Is fate trying to tell me that I should not be moving?
I want to get out of this house. There are too many memories here. Good memories that were tainted by the discovery that my entire marriage was based on lies.
I am normally a fairly stable person, but right now I am a complete wreck. I realized it's not about "selling" the house, but getting away from it and how it makes me feel. My kids have dubbed it the "lying house" and they want out too. We all just need a fresh start.
I am not sure how I am going to cope with the fact that I may have to stay in this house for an indefinite amount of time.:crying:
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I'm unattractive to females
So I really liked this girl and used to hang around with her for the best two or so years, she liked my personality and stuff and I start having feelings for her, so I made the big move and she instantly shut me down saying she doesn't see me that way and only like a brother
After a while I got over it so I started getting on with my daily life but I started feeling lonely again and needed companionship. I made a profile on tinder (without any big expectations) and a couple of pics and short simple bio, swiped right on a couple of people I was interested in but never got any matches.
Is this because I'm unattractive male because it seems so, I'm a mixed race guy with a very short beard and glasses, I don't even feel like going out anymore :(
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Mission to leave the friendzone.
Do you think its possible?
I have avoided all contact with her, she has text me twice each time, she uploaded a picture on facebook.
I didnt mind being her friend, as I wasnt interested in being in a relationship, I got out of a long one and wanted to find myself and focus on myself. I also had a few issues in family life, so I didnt want anything series with girls.
Background info
- im not talking about a childhood friend, who I have known for years and suddenly fall in love and im going to take her by surprise one day.
- This girl I like she showed many signs of interests but maybe I took to much time or maybe she got confused with another guy, but anyway she started calling me her friend.
why i think she liked me?
- At uni, she looks at me, and looks away when I make eye contact
- she used to ask me about other girls
- she got jealous when I flirted with other girls
- she noticed all other girls i talked to
- she sits close, she cant stop touching me
- she compared me to her first crush, and told me a secret which she only told her first crush
- she compliments my cute nose and eyes. Also my muscles.
- she always texts me
-We drunk kissed once, she was grinding her bum into my penis, I turned her around and kissed her.
- after the kiss, she kept calling me and texting me
- If i ignore her texts, she will make me reply
- she touches my hair, and plays with my scar on my neck
- she has 100s of guys messging her, but she wants my attention.
I got friendzoned
- she said she didnt remember the kiss,
- she started calling me her best friend
-
why its gonna be different
- she said she doesnt like this guy anymore, I think this is true becuase at first she used to defend his lack of experience, now she didn't.
- we have not had hardly any contact, I think she has forgotten our friendship.
- before she used to call me about all her problems, tell me everything she is doing, now she doesnt
why im different
- My confidence has increased, people complement it now
- my social circle has increased, people want to be around me
- loads of girls want to talk to me,
- I have dated a few girls now, and I am much better, and calmer
-
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Ok I need yall advice in how to move to meaningful conversation
you know how the conversation begins with "hey how are you?
Where are you from?
So lately I been struggling to get to meaningful conversations and I end up losing interest because they are giving me one word answers and not asking me anything.
So I thought I asked a question that would allow her to open up a little more when I said "what was the last seafood place you been to and what type of seafood do you like the most?"
All she did was tell me the last place she been and that;s it.
So can someone help me with moving from the ice breaking to meaningful conversation? Thanks
Where are you from?
So lately I been struggling to get to meaningful conversations and I end up losing interest because they are giving me one word answers and not asking me anything.
So I thought I asked a question that would allow her to open up a little more when I said "what was the last seafood place you been to and what type of seafood do you like the most?"
All she did was tell me the last place she been and that;s it.
So can someone help me with moving from the ice breaking to meaningful conversation? Thanks
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"Good Girl" is driving me away
So, I've been married for almost 2 years. When my wife and I were dating, she was ALL OVER me. We never had sex till our honeymoon, but she was often talking about how excited she was to do it...even went on and on one night about how she wants to do it in the car some day. I was always a very sexual person and had many fantasies and desires, and couldn't wait for them to finally come true!
And then they never happened...on our honeymoon I could barely get her to even have sex. Her drive just went down from there. I'll admit, some of my dreams were a bit far-fetched (mile-high club, sex in a pool, etc.) but I can't even get her to try a new position. It's just her on top. The only time it's any different is when she's not feeling like getting up and I bug her for a while and she finally says to go for it but don't make her actually do anything. And we've never ever had oral, she thinks it is too "dirty". Doggy style? won't even try it, too dirty also. Kitchen? Family room? laundry room? No, that's apparently "just wrong". And it keeps getting worse and worse! In the last month, I've never even made it to first base!
It's not just about sex though. It's hard to even get affection in general! Sunday is my only day off, so you think we have Sunday dinner alone? Nope! We have to go to her families house every single Sunday! Date nights? I've been turned down on more dates then from every girl in my entire single life combined! Dancing has always been a big part of my life...I would go country-swing dancing five hours a night 3-4 nights a week before we met. She and I have both taken ballroom dancing classes before we met. So I thought I'd go dancing with her...I've been able to get her to go twice since getting married, and both times she was complaining the entire time! To add to it all, she's completely let herself go. Never gets dressed up, never does her hair, never works out and therefore has gained over 50 pounds.
I don't know what to do. I don't want this to end in divorce, but it's hard when there's no hope in sight. Not only that, but we have a 10 month old baby, and I want her to know her mom and dad. What do I do?
And then they never happened...on our honeymoon I could barely get her to even have sex. Her drive just went down from there. I'll admit, some of my dreams were a bit far-fetched (mile-high club, sex in a pool, etc.) but I can't even get her to try a new position. It's just her on top. The only time it's any different is when she's not feeling like getting up and I bug her for a while and she finally says to go for it but don't make her actually do anything. And we've never ever had oral, she thinks it is too "dirty". Doggy style? won't even try it, too dirty also. Kitchen? Family room? laundry room? No, that's apparently "just wrong". And it keeps getting worse and worse! In the last month, I've never even made it to first base!
It's not just about sex though. It's hard to even get affection in general! Sunday is my only day off, so you think we have Sunday dinner alone? Nope! We have to go to her families house every single Sunday! Date nights? I've been turned down on more dates then from every girl in my entire single life combined! Dancing has always been a big part of my life...I would go country-swing dancing five hours a night 3-4 nights a week before we met. She and I have both taken ballroom dancing classes before we met. So I thought I'd go dancing with her...I've been able to get her to go twice since getting married, and both times she was complaining the entire time! To add to it all, she's completely let herself go. Never gets dressed up, never does her hair, never works out and therefore has gained over 50 pounds.
I don't know what to do. I don't want this to end in divorce, but it's hard when there's no hope in sight. Not only that, but we have a 10 month old baby, and I want her to know her mom and dad. What do I do?
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ama severely Depressed since July 2014
ama Have been depressed for over a year if anyone else has been in a similar boat or whats to talk
ask away
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do girls seriously mean it when they say , they wanna stay virgin?
Do girls seriously mean it when they say they say they wanna stay a virgin till marriage or is it something girls in general say so as to avoid being called a "hoe" ?
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How much does age affect a woman's attractiveness?
Should age affect a woman/make her worry? Like if she is single at 32 no kids should she worry or will age not affect her ability to find a man?
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Awkward Situation At Uni
I'm going back to uni soon (2nd year) and I'll be facing a very awkward situation.At the beginning of first year I was 'friends' with 4 girls.1 of them call her T was in my seminars +practicals group so we were in the same classes outside of lectures.So up until March we were alright ,we'd work as a pair and go to classes together,sit together at lunch.Around this time I had stopped talking to the other 3 girls,they were just plain mean ,rude ,immature and judgemental.E.g would make remarks about lecturers and other students ,making fun of a lecturer with a health condition ,literally talking about me when I could hear them & they made it so clear they were talking about me.I decided I had enough of them.They (all 4) would make plans without me ,go out and not invite me.For me that was a it,line drawn.finito!.Adios faux amigos.:o
Just before we broke up for Easter the group had gone from 4 to 2 .T stuck with S (one of the 4 girls) ,the other 2 girls went off both with different people .T had stopped turning up to seminars she would text me saying she was ill and asking for notes from seminars & practicals. I didn't reply to them ,I deleted them because I didn't feel inclined to.One day around May I walked past T and S and they had ignored me .Literally walked past me and pretended like they had never seen me before.You can imagine how I felt about T.
So the seminars & practical groups are the same this year as last year.Second year counts so I'm 100% sure T is going to turn up to seminars & practicals.I don't know what to do when we return because I didn't reply to her messages ,I deleted them & we haven't spoken in months.
A part of me feels sorry for her and maybe I should be nice and wipe the slate clean and forgive her because she got caught up and had high expectations of university and friendships which sadly came crumbling down.She would say she wants a strong friendship group & was glad all 5 of us were friends blah blah (this was around November).She chose to stick with a person who misses 50% of classes and is at university for the wrong reasons.S knows a lot of people ,very vocal ,swears a lot ,very outgoing,loves going out and drinking .A few of the people she knows are coming to our uni (shout out Facebook) this year ,one who is her 'best friend'.T signed for a flat with S and 3 of S's friends + S's boyfriend at the end of last year so I can imagine what that is going to be like.*waiting*.#
However another part of me wants to ignore her ,forget about her & get on with my life.Work with a different people in lab classes & avoid her as much as I can in seminars.
If it was you what would you do?
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Is it weakness to not want to fall out of love with someone
It's been two years since my 6 year relationship ended / blew up in my face but the messed up part is he thinks it's acceptable to keep trying to contact me, he messes with my head, makes me feel all the love again and no matter how many times I change my number, he will always manage to get it.
I'm scared I'm never going to stop loving him. I'm sad because I'm not strong enough to want to fall out of love with him.
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