Sorry for the long post. This is my first time posting in a support group since my wife told me that she was loved me but wasn't in love with me.
I guess I should give a little background first, about a year and a half ago she had gastric bypass and since then has lost over 100 lbs. I supported her through her surgery, took out a loan to pay for it and encouraged her weight loss journey. Our marriage was never perfect, but there was no abuse or anything like that going on.
5 months ago was when she dropped the ILYBINILWY bomb and I found out that she was having an emotional affair with a co-worker. We tried MC and I made all the changes that she was asking for but come to find out she had started talking to another man that she had met through the hot or not app on her phone. At that point she told me that she wanted a divorce. About a month after that she told me she wanted to do a trial separation because she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.
On May 31st is when she moved out. At that point the guy she had been talking too and had met had moved on from her. A week later she started talking to another guy that she had met on tinder. That didn't last long either and now she is dating a guy she met on plenty of fish and slept with him on the first date and continues to date/sleep with him. We have 2 young daughters (2 and 5) and I feel like she is setting a horrible example for them. I feel hopeless and feel like I can't protect them from her reckless behavior. It's killing me inside and I cry all the time because of it.
I know I need to move on but just when I start to feel good then it's like I relapse and get into a bad place again. I just feel so lost right now and don't know what to do. I'm seeing a counselor which helps but sometimes I feel like it's not enough.
I wish i could understand why she is acting this way. I've accepted that this marriage is over but now have a lot of anger and resentment for towards the way she is being careless. Everyone tells me to just focus on me but it's hard when my kids are involved. I know they're technically safe but her behavior is going to have an impact on them. She has not been a good mom recently, she doesn't give them the attention they need, puts this new man first and always has her face buried in her phone.
I guess I should give a little background first, about a year and a half ago she had gastric bypass and since then has lost over 100 lbs. I supported her through her surgery, took out a loan to pay for it and encouraged her weight loss journey. Our marriage was never perfect, but there was no abuse or anything like that going on.
5 months ago was when she dropped the ILYBINILWY bomb and I found out that she was having an emotional affair with a co-worker. We tried MC and I made all the changes that she was asking for but come to find out she had started talking to another man that she had met through the hot or not app on her phone. At that point she told me that she wanted a divorce. About a month after that she told me she wanted to do a trial separation because she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.
On May 31st is when she moved out. At that point the guy she had been talking too and had met had moved on from her. A week later she started talking to another guy that she had met on tinder. That didn't last long either and now she is dating a guy she met on plenty of fish and slept with him on the first date and continues to date/sleep with him. We have 2 young daughters (2 and 5) and I feel like she is setting a horrible example for them. I feel hopeless and feel like I can't protect them from her reckless behavior. It's killing me inside and I cry all the time because of it.
I know I need to move on but just when I start to feel good then it's like I relapse and get into a bad place again. I just feel so lost right now and don't know what to do. I'm seeing a counselor which helps but sometimes I feel like it's not enough.
I wish i could understand why she is acting this way. I've accepted that this marriage is over but now have a lot of anger and resentment for towards the way she is being careless. Everyone tells me to just focus on me but it's hard when my kids are involved. I know they're technically safe but her behavior is going to have an impact on them. She has not been a good mom recently, she doesn't give them the attention they need, puts this new man first and always has her face buried in her phone.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment