I am new here and I guess I have joined because I do not know where else to go to get some advice on my marriage.
I was married in 2012 for the second time after being single for 16 years and raising my two daughters on my own. My husband is the father of two and for the first year and a half we had his 20 yo son, my 19 yo daughter and his 17 yo daughter (part time) living with us (my 22 yo daughter had already moved out of the home). All of the kids have moved out as of June 2014 and we bought a beautiful acreage, it was our dream!
I had always noticed that my husband was short with his son when they did chores etc around the house. I even defended my step son a couple of times when Dad yelled at him and such. I do believe that Hubby just does not have great coping skills when things do not go as planned. He turns to frustration and a temper in the form of swearing and almost childish behavior the instant something is not perfect!
Now that the kids are moved out I am finding that I am the target of this unfair behavior. Most especially when there are problems (our horses managed to get out of the corral and we had to chase them down). I apparently didn't run fast enough, did not stand my ground with two 1000 lb horses barreling towards me and am being criticized for various things when alone and with other people. I even catch some eye-rolling in my direction at times when I am speaking.
I am feeling very disrespected and frankly unloved. What does he suppose this behavior would cause in his mate? It certainly does not make me feel more tender towards him and his needs. At times I feel like he makes comments in front of others as he feels like that is a time in which I cannot confront him or defend myself but that point may be coming soon enough.
Any advice from both a male and female perspective would be appreciated. I fear that I am being abused emotionally as it is starting to lower my self-esteem and I want to fix this before it does long term damage. He does get unreasonably angry at any mention of emotional things for which he feels that I am accusing him so I always have to approach these things like walking on eggshells. I do not want to damage his ego or self esteem in my quest to increase my own!
I was married in 2012 for the second time after being single for 16 years and raising my two daughters on my own. My husband is the father of two and for the first year and a half we had his 20 yo son, my 19 yo daughter and his 17 yo daughter (part time) living with us (my 22 yo daughter had already moved out of the home). All of the kids have moved out as of June 2014 and we bought a beautiful acreage, it was our dream!
I had always noticed that my husband was short with his son when they did chores etc around the house. I even defended my step son a couple of times when Dad yelled at him and such. I do believe that Hubby just does not have great coping skills when things do not go as planned. He turns to frustration and a temper in the form of swearing and almost childish behavior the instant something is not perfect!
Now that the kids are moved out I am finding that I am the target of this unfair behavior. Most especially when there are problems (our horses managed to get out of the corral and we had to chase them down). I apparently didn't run fast enough, did not stand my ground with two 1000 lb horses barreling towards me and am being criticized for various things when alone and with other people. I even catch some eye-rolling in my direction at times when I am speaking.
I am feeling very disrespected and frankly unloved. What does he suppose this behavior would cause in his mate? It certainly does not make me feel more tender towards him and his needs. At times I feel like he makes comments in front of others as he feels like that is a time in which I cannot confront him or defend myself but that point may be coming soon enough.
Any advice from both a male and female perspective would be appreciated. I fear that I am being abused emotionally as it is starting to lower my self-esteem and I want to fix this before it does long term damage. He does get unreasonably angry at any mention of emotional things for which he feels that I am accusing him so I always have to approach these things like walking on eggshells. I do not want to damage his ego or self esteem in my quest to increase my own!
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