What is wrong with my Husband

We have been married 21 years, we have had lots of problems and worked through them all, now I just don't know what is going on with him, he's moody for weeks at a time the only time he is kind is after we are intimate with each other and that will only last for a couple days at the most. I feel like the kids and I are walking on eggshells around him. He talks about how he works all day and wants to come home to a clean quiet home and WE are not helping to make this possible. He says I am not being a tough enough Mom to make the kids mind, I am not consistent with the kids, I am not a good parent, the kids do not respect me or love me and if they did they would do what their told to do. I start crying and try to defend myself but it becomes a huge argument and then he says that I am interrupting him and not letting him finish talking, so I am quiet while he continues then he wants me to apologize, he turns everything around to make me look like t he bad guy every time. Please Help!!!

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