My Husband's Family Excludes Me Sometimes

My husband's family is very close. We visit them once a week and spend the whole day at his mom or grandma's house and sometimes even spend the night. Over the years I have grown close to them, going through what any family would go through, and see them as my family and to love them. His two sisters call me his sister and his aunt calls me her niece. His aunt is young and around my age and his sisters age (24-28). We are all close. What truly hurts my heart is that I see them as family but I don't think they see me as it since I'm excluded sometimes. As much as 1-2x a month his mom will have or make dinner and invite only the her kids (my hub, his sisters) but not me. Going out to dinner, weekend getaways, New Years Eve family dinner, making dinner, you get my drift. Obviously I'm not completely forbidden to go it's just sometimes but enough for me to be sad often. His aunt mentioned having a niece dinner bonding time and I thought I was going too. Until I wasn't invited and my husband said only "real" nieces. I started to tear up and tell him that it hurts my heart that often I am excluded from family events where only "real" family can come. I told him I thought we were family. He said "What's wrong with us wanting to be alone sometime?" I said "Well I've grown to see your family as mine too now. What can you say or do when I'm not around?" And he said "There's no difference, just we're alone" He was getting upset and was like "FINE! I won't go anymore!" I told him that's not going to fix anything and that's not what I want. He asked what I wanted him to do...I honestly want to tell him I want to be treated like family but if he tells them I'm hurt they'll get annoyed unless he voices that "WE" feel that way not just me. I know some of you think it's nothing and I'm in the wrong but I truly feel that if you're family, blood shouldn't matter. My sister treats her step son as one of her own even though he doesn't live with them. She invites him to family dinners and vacations, no exclusions. What can my spouse and I do to compromise? Please don't tell me to get over it. My partner is asking what to do but I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm jealous because my sister's husband understood her pain and nipped it in the bud. Whereas mine was upset that I felt that way....

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