Hubby had sexual issues he didn't tell me about until after we married....

Let me start with my hubby and I met in the US while he was on vacation . We started off as friends but after I visited him we became more and maintained a long distance relationship for a year and a half until he moved here. During that long distance time we spoke everyday if not twice a day and the only thing I asked him to do was to be open and honest no matter what because I had been married before and my ex had lied and just wasn't good for me(no need to smear him that's why he is an ex). I was completely honest about my past and what I want for my future including my sexual expectations (I wanted to have fun). We got married about 9 months after he moved here. We have been married for almost 5 yrs now. So now this is the behind the scenes story, there was always something odd when we would have sex; it just always seemed disconnected from the person I would talk to on the phone (if that makes sense) what I mean is the man I talk to on the phone who seemed very sexual was not the man I would get when we were in bed. Very missionary and after his supposed orgasm he would still be completely hard ,which I asked about but never got a real answer . Also after the supposed orgasm,there didn't seem to be any trace of it (if you know what I mean) and my hubby always had an excuse. One I decided I was going to used my skills and do everything to him ,but couldn't get any result. Hubby finally explained he is anorgasmic with intercourse and he had been faking it all along:'( he stated that he has been like this since he started having sex then he threw down that he only gets excited by feet and the only way he can orgasm is by masturbating while my feet are on his face or above his face. Needless to say I was stunned ...HE LIED.. And had lied all along , and now I was married to him and either I excepted it or I would have to go through another divorce.....uuuggggh(I didn't like it the first time) I figure we can wo rk on this we could figure it out together ...well 4years later and we are now down to having sex randomly maybe once a month and sometimes that only consists of me rubbing my feet on his face while he masturbates, his form of sexting or talking dirty or pillow talk is him telling me or me telling him what he wants to do to my feet or should do to my feet. I have tried to get in to this but it just isn't my thing. I even tried to explain to him what I need and he says he just cant get into it. I don't even try anymore because of the constant rejection over the past four years. I slowly gave up. I don't even know what to ask him to do to help me orgasm because I know it does nothing for him so I can't get into it. Well here is the dilemma I am in... I have tried to be accepting and understanding but I NEED sex , I need a man to orgasm while I have sex with him because it is satisfying and a major turn on for me to know that I pleased him and that he enjoyed it as much as I did . Well just recently I have been receiving a lot of advances from a particular person and I have never let me repeat NEVER even considered cheating in my life but I am actually starting to consider it.... :'( Has anyone ever gone through this and figured out a balance? Is there hope for my hubby and I ? How do you get your head back in the game when it feels hopeless ? Any advise? Posted via Mobile Device

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