Boyfriend is gun-shy about marriage

Hi All, Boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years is gun-shy about marriage because of his divorce. I am divorced also but would like to get married and build a life together. He doesn't think we need a contract, but says that just because he is gun-shy about marriage, it doesn't mean that he will never get married. We both already have children and do not want more children. To me, marriage is more than a contract, it's a feeling of commitment and building a life together as a family, and a promise to be together forever. I was sad and hurt about his unwillingness to marry me. I feel as though he must not love me enough to do so. I've contemplated leaving him, and he knows that. He says that he loves me and would be heartbroken if I left him. I've thought about it long and hard, and I figured out that the relationship that I have with my boyfriend is the best relationship I've ever had. We have a good time together almost always, and can talk issues through without arguments. I also figured out that I can't leave him because I love him too much. I've rationalized and thought through the marriage thing and realized that if he agrees to move-in together and buy a house together, and basically act like a family with me then my emotional need would be met. Marriage does not guarantee forever, and neither does buying a house together and living together, but at least my emotional need for a family-feeling and stability is met. There is also protection against having to go through divorce if it doesn't work out, and the financial downsides to divorce. It seems like a way to have one's cake and eat it too. Even though I can rationalize about not needing marriage, I can't help but feel also that I'm settling for less by staying with him without the promise of marriage. Why can I not get over that feeling? Can someone help me with this?

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