I Just Can't Get Past This

Five years ago (5 sexless years now), my wife told me if I wanted sex I should find a prostitute, but to wear a condom if I did. I have not accepted this 'allowance'. It's absolute bull****. Whenever I wonder if there's any way to repair this marriage, I immediately go back to that sentiment. There's no retracting that zinger. And to think it must have taken at least a year or two or more for her to get to the point of saying that. I just can never get past that. That was my WIFE who said that. Wife of 20 years at that point, mother of our three kids who said that! And it's infuriating to me now that she continues to go around as if nothing's wrong, everything's cool, she's perfectly content being this way, and has the nerve to ask me occasionally, 'What's wrong? Why are you so 'down' all the time?' ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?? This has really created a situation where there's only one way out for me, and I hate that this has happened. (there's no medical issues there, I'm in reasonably good shape, probably a 'nice guy' though.......the utter lack of respect not only for me as a human being but as her HUSBAND, in what she said there, is just stunning)

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