| Ok so here we go. My wife spends all her time with her family. I always will come second to that no matter what I do or say. I am 30, she is 25 so it's not like we are kids or anything. We have a home, and are working on a kid. After tonight I just cant take it. She had to work today (mind you she spent all day yesturday over there since I was out of town, but even when I came back she was still over there) and when she got home I was playing a video game. (Mind you I had done all the clothes and cleaned the kitchen today as well) Well I was wrapping up a level and she decides to leave and go to her moms. I got no where else to turn. Soo....little long winded, so I will try to break things up a bit.
So me and my wife met and had a very quick courtship. We were so certain of each other and that we were meant to be together that we were engaged withing three weeks. Knowing that we didn't want to rush things, we set the wedding date to 1 year from the day we started dating. Everything was fine. The only thing keeping her from being 100% happy, was that at the time her family lived out of state. We spent a lot of time doing things that I found really fun. Watching movies, playing video games, or watching TV. What I didn't know at the time was that it was more or less her doing things I wanted to do and pretending to like them. (didn't realize that for a while). Well, her family finally moves to where we are.
At first it was "only on Saturdays cause someone has to watch the young one" which quickly lead to Sundays as well. For the most part, I get off work before she does, so I would always try to have dinner ready for us when she came home. Well, on days that she has off, she would spend all day with her family. No problem there, but I kinda would like her to be home with me when I get off, but that doesn't happen. She usually does not come home till I am asleep. So if she has a day off, I basically do not see her. There was one time I asked her to take her little sister home like, an hour or two early so we could have a date night and she says to me "I don't know if we are going to make it" Out of NO where. We spoke about that and everything was fine...it's just frustrating to always seem to come second when I am her husband.
We basically have just come to a routine that every weekend she is going to spend all weekend over at their house and if I want to see her I have to go over there. Mind you, I don't mind going over there, I like them well enough, but I just don't need to go over there every week. It comes down to, (and more getting to the point of the post) that she goes over there because we don't have anything to do. We share almost nothing in common apparently. When she does stay here, we have some TV Shows that we like to watch together, but as far as activities and having things to do....not so much. She is into Arts/crafts...and well...basically spending time with her family. I have tried to extend things that we can do and spend time together and to her credit she tries it. However nothing we have done has been fun for her. It really seems that nothing I can come up with that doesn't involve her family is any fun or can hold her attention. I have t ried to confront her about this, and she will tell me that she knows she spends to much time over there.....so much so that she pretty much doesn't even hold up her end of the house work. I do the dishes, clothes, trash, cleaning. How? Because I do that stuff on my days off inbetween doing things that I like. She can't do any of that stuff if she is always over there.
Ok, so that was a lot, and a bit of a rant, but ultimatly, I am looking for things for us to do together. I am looking for just activities. Doesn't have to be a whole day thing, maybe just something we can spend an hour or so doing together that can help us try to pull things together. At this rate I am not sure how much more of it I can take. So, any input, or questions, or suggestions are welcome. Thanks guys. |
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