I really need your help and advice with my 11yold girl and separation !

Hi people and thanks for dropping in on this. We separated 5mths ago and my daughter, 11, went with my ex to her new place 10 mins away and I'm still out at our house for now. We decided she should live with her , I dunno being female, so young , going through our separation. I just thought being with her mum will help and I'd hate to deprive her of her mum. Trouble is , our idea was for her to come out to my place most w/ends and weekdays I'd go see her there. Thing is , she's had a bit of anxiety coming out lately. Things are sinking in more for us all so I can only imagine it for her, especially coming back to the family home but - no family. That's hard enough for me. But she often just the last 6-7wks or so , gets upset for a few hrs when she first gets here but , if we get her through she comes good , we get back to just us and usually have great w/ends in the end. A lot of her friends come out to stay too and they all have a ball and love hanging out here. They always stayed a lot to even before the sep' too because one , they loved hanging out here but two , my daughter always had trouble staying at their places, not just here now. We also had to pick her up early on school camps too usually but the last couple have gone really well and she's stayed the lot. So we've still got though the sleep over thing when she comes out to here to start but the second thing is a lot of her friends are in town and nice and handy to where she's living now, where as we're on 1ac here and 10 mins out. Mind you , she's not even that close to the friends that are in town anyway, her best friends all live out on ac's like here. One's just a bike ride up the road. But I just don't know how to handle this. Since the anxiety started kicking in , she's coming up with excuses every week lately to stay home in town and if it wasn't for me pushing she'd hardly get out here at all lately and that means WE , don't get to stay together. So, I'm always giving her a nudge lately or it just isn't gonna happen. We get a long really well, if friends stay they all love it out here too and once she comes good we always find our feet and end up having just beautiful weekends- she even says that all the time. She even says she does love coming out and loves spending as much time with me as poss' , insisting she wants to see as much of me as we can. But still, it keeps taking a push lately , more and more to actually get her here first. Ex says she's just coming into the age of it's all about friends friends friends , but most of her best are out of town anyway. Last weekend I had to go over and drag her out of bed at 11 o'clock- not literally but I did have to say well you know , you coming or what. Come on get your stuff and we'll get going. Again we had a beautiful w/end , she got a bit upset to start but we came good and she didn't wanna leave Sunday. This w/end again, they were having a pool party in town , all the girls had been planning it for weeks. OK you stay in the w/end and enjoy yourself hey. Thanks dad , sorry but you know I really wanna see you it's just this is only once a yr. And well , it rained didn't it , pool didn't open , none of the friends went in and she just stayed home. Turns out she only went to the pictures though last night with one friend she doesn't even like anyway. Thing is every week now for 6 or 7 wks, excuse after excuse , avoidance when the time comes, or gets upset later instead maybe and I end up taking her home early. Or she tells me something on and she can't come , turns out nothing was on. I thought it might've been my ex but she keeps telling me she's fine with it , wants her to see as much of me as she can. But ex says to that it's one that town thing and two her anxiety thing always kicks in at the last minute. Ex says she's always trying to get her[mum] to make an excuse. This really really hurts my feelings , all of it and I just don't know how I should be handling her /it and viewing it. It's like lately if I don't keep on it , she'll never stay anymore. Even though we always have a ball , her friends do too but crunch time, she try's to back out. What the hell do I do with this ? Should I be firmer on it , insist , this is the way it is ? Should I do the opposite , let her off the hook , stop pushing it - She'd never stay the way she's going though if I did that. And all the stuff she does do in town all her best friends go in from out here to meet up for anyway just like she use to and could now instead of staying home. Hell I'm always running them all in and picking everyone up and they all love us running a round . They say I'm cool :) So what the hell do I do with her ? Hell if I have to visit her there all the time instead of some of our own personal time on our own turf , just no good!

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