My husband should have been a monk

He was a bartender when I met him, now he's an abstinent, health-crazed workaholic. I'm the best wife and business partner (we run a farm) he could have found—after him, I'm the hardest worker I know. Unlikely him, however, I recognize and try to accommodate the need for rest and leisure. He pays lip service to the idea but never stops working. Or passing judgment on everyone else. We've been farming together for 7 years and have been married for 4. He also works a full time job as a janitor. Now we have two kids. If it weren't for the kids, I'd leave him. We've been to counseling and communicate well, but I can't be happy with the person he's become, and I don't see him changing. He's never satisfied with what I feed the kids (a big insult for someone who grows and lovingly prepares everything she feeds her kids), he resents taking time off for holidays (the only time he'll ever take off), he can't see the virtue in anything that isn't sacrificial in some way. He's completely devoted to his family, but only on his terms. From his perspective, compromising with me would mean sacrificing his principles. No one can relax around him. He should have been a monk. Maybe I could continue as his business partner and roommate for the next 16 years, until the kids are in college. We're rational people and could probably grow accustomed to it. But I also have a passionate side that feels I deserve better.

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