Quick backstory.
I'm trying to help out a good friend that is coming out of an abusive relationship. Her husband physically, mentally and verbally abused her for 20 years. I've said many times that I dislike the "control" card because I don't believe that anyone can control anyone else. I'm starting to feel differently about that because my friend's husband literally controlled every aspect of her life. He told her what to wear, how to behave, how she should think. She couldn't even speak without asking permission. As such I see her as someone who was truly brainwashed into subservience.
As you can imagine she trusts very few people. I have suggested counseling but she says she isn't ready yet. What I would like to do is pick her up some books that may help her to break free of this submissive pattern and the need to ask permission for everything. I already suggested Codependent No More but I think she needs something more targeted toward what she actually experienced. Does anyone have any suggestions for books that might help her?
BTW, this has really opened my eyes to controlling behavior by abusive men. I apologize to everyone I have debated with on this issue. You were right and I was wrong.
I'm trying to help out a good friend that is coming out of an abusive relationship. Her husband physically, mentally and verbally abused her for 20 years. I've said many times that I dislike the "control" card because I don't believe that anyone can control anyone else. I'm starting to feel differently about that because my friend's husband literally controlled every aspect of her life. He told her what to wear, how to behave, how she should think. She couldn't even speak without asking permission. As such I see her as someone who was truly brainwashed into subservience.
As you can imagine she trusts very few people. I have suggested counseling but she says she isn't ready yet. What I would like to do is pick her up some books that may help her to break free of this submissive pattern and the need to ask permission for everything. I already suggested Codependent No More but I think she needs something more targeted toward what she actually experienced. Does anyone have any suggestions for books that might help her?
BTW, this has really opened my eyes to controlling behavior by abusive men. I apologize to everyone I have debated with on this issue. You were right and I was wrong.
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