I attended a company/industry party with my wife and her coworkers. At the company party, I met a very attractive woman (not one of my wife's co-workers, and industry associate) who was sitting at our table, and had pleasant conversation with her. The events at the party allowed me to look at this young, attractive woman all evening, without it appearing to be unusual. I had been drinking at the party, but was in control. A group of us, including my wife, then decided to go out for an after party, The attractive woman came with us to the after party, along with several other women, I was the only man there. I had more to drink and I'll admit I don't have full recollection of everything. Apparently I was dancing with the other girls, but I don't remember all of it. What I do remember is being at the bar and something about the very attractive girl asking me how open was my marriage. I don't believe anything physical happened, and my wife and her coworkers got me back to our hotel.
The next morning I apologized to my wife for getting drunk, and she told me she understood. We had told ourselves a party with a hotel room on site, we could indulge a bit. Since the party, my wife has acted to me in a completely normal way, even mentioning to me and my mother in law I was dancing with the other girls. My wife does not appear angry, upset, or jealous in any way. I however, feel tremendous guilt and remorse about what did, or may have happened. I've been struggling recently that after 15 years of marriage, and being happy, and not even the first thought of infidelity, I've suddenly been finding myself very attracted to younger women. Part of this attraction is that I had an experience earlier this year when I found out a young, attractive woman, was attracted to me, and I'll admit, that idea really does stroke my ego. But I am…again…I am….happily married. I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with my wife. Is she waiting for me to come to her and confess what happened, and if I don't, will that cause her to rethink the marriage. Bottom line, should I speak with my wife about this, and the struggles of my attractions to younger women. I can say that I don't feel I could carry on an affair, that would require from me a conscious decision to do that, and I can't see that happening. But I worry that "just a quick taste" – for lack of a better way to describe it, is a threat and a possibility. I'm hoping the guilt and remorse I feel now will temper those desires. But should my wife know. Thanks.
The next morning I apologized to my wife for getting drunk, and she told me she understood. We had told ourselves a party with a hotel room on site, we could indulge a bit. Since the party, my wife has acted to me in a completely normal way, even mentioning to me and my mother in law I was dancing with the other girls. My wife does not appear angry, upset, or jealous in any way. I however, feel tremendous guilt and remorse about what did, or may have happened. I've been struggling recently that after 15 years of marriage, and being happy, and not even the first thought of infidelity, I've suddenly been finding myself very attracted to younger women. Part of this attraction is that I had an experience earlier this year when I found out a young, attractive woman, was attracted to me, and I'll admit, that idea really does stroke my ego. But I am…again…I am….happily married. I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with my wife. Is she waiting for me to come to her and confess what happened, and if I don't, will that cause her to rethink the marriage. Bottom line, should I speak with my wife about this, and the struggles of my attractions to younger women. I can say that I don't feel I could carry on an affair, that would require from me a conscious decision to do that, and I can't see that happening. But I worry that "just a quick taste" – for lack of a better way to describe it, is a threat and a possibility. I'm hoping the guilt and remorse I feel now will temper those desires. But should my wife know. Thanks.
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