I'm in need for some advice....
I'm 24 years old, went to university abroad in the UK. When I decided to go to uni abroad, it was a massive argument with my parents, and I thought once I'd finished university I'd be a free man.
I'm currently looking for a job in the UK and my parents actively do everything in their power in order to manipulate me not to work in the UK. They want me to stay in my home country, live with them and they want to get me a job back home. They want to control my life, they never liked any of my girlfriends, particularly my mum. She used to call my previous girlfriend fat when she wasn't. (My mum is perfect in her oown eyes).
With my current girlfriend, whom I intend to marry, I secretely checked my mum's messages and emails on her phone (I recognise I shouldnt have invaded her privacy, but I had good reason to), and I saw her bitching about my girlfriend to literally all her girlfriends. She called my girlfriend crazy, psycopath, bitch and she wasn't good for me. Then I saw another email in which she was trying to hook me up with the daughter of one of her friends who is the same age as me. A while ago, I received a call from my mum's friend who invited me out to dinner (saying that her daughter could get me an interview). I can't believe my mum's friends are also trying to manipulate me, seriously, a girl my age will get me a job interview???
I've had several conversations with my mum but she never listens, she calls and will always call me her baby in public and grab my hand when crossing the road- I am 2 4years old, not 5. She does everything she can so that I don't get a job in the UK and obliges me to come back home for a week ever month- she always manages this via emotional manipulation. I saw in one of her emails she said to my dad : "We should oblige him to come home for a week in July, otherwise I'm going to go and force him to come back home". There is always a pattern: FEAR, Lies, Obligation, and guilt.
My parents tell me not to get married before 35 years old, because people who get married before that age are abnormal and low-class. They tell me fat people are monsters and recently made fun of a poor nurse who had crossed eyes- very judgmental. They themselves got married really late (i have 40 years difference with my dad), and I know they will never be happy with any of my chcoices- for example the day I marry my girlfriend there will be huge arguments.
I'm temporarily at home now before going back to the UK, and they've told me you're not going back to the UK (my girlfriend is waiting for me in the UK, we've got housing together, and my future career lies in the UK). My mum controls everything, even the haircut, when I was small she forbid me to cut my hair short, and forced me to wear fluo clothes at school. I'm 24 years old and nothing has changed. I'm in depression now because it feels like my whole life has been planned for me, live to please other people, and the minute I focus on myself I get called selfish.
Put the internet to work for you.
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