Im really insecure about myself and i need to change lest i want it to be detrimental to any relationship i want with a guy.
I just dont think im good enough for him. Hes really good looking. Incredibly smart and has plans that will make him successful which im so proud of and happy for him. He is funny and outgoing and has a mature head on his shoulders with the right level of immaturity lol.
Whereas i am not very pretty or funny (he loves that i make bad jokes though lol) and i dont have an idea of where my life is heading except that i want to do my masters. I have few friends in comparison and i dont particularly go out much. He thinks im beautiful/really good looking but i feel he says it because he knows im insecure.
He has great morals and values and we agree about many important things that someone would want in a future spouse. However, i lied to him once and told the truth as i felt guilty. He forgave me and wants to try with me anyhow, and thats what we have been doing for two months now.
He compliments the fact that i am responsible and look after my siblings (my dad died when i was 8 and being the eldest ive helped my mum out since then, our family sort of disowned us too). But i dont see it that way, i think anybody in my position would pick up the responsibilities and get on with it. I guess he appreciates things that nobody has ever done so before and it makes me feel even more guilty for lying to him.
I dont know what advice to give myself, whereas usually im good with giving it to others. I guess i dont want to be self destructive and ruin this for myself as the past two months have been great and were doing well in terms of moving on from the lie and seeing how things go. But these thoughts creep up and i dont want to tell him about it, we keep things light hearted for now so we can get comfortable with each other but this is something i need to address if i want to focus on a future with him.
Any help? :(
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