Hello everyone. I am a transfer from CWI- if interested see
( Husband ended affair, other woman shows up at our home to confront).
Well its turns out after nearly 12 years of marriage, stbxh decides to have an affair, then tries to false R multiple times and now attempts to give me an ultimatum that he wont try for true R unless I agree to have a child/ children with him which will show him I am not holding anything against him. Needless to say I declined and preparing for divorce…
The history on this is that after years of marriage and some feminine health issues found its not wise for me to not try and but the main reason is that after much thought and evaluation of what I wanted, I came to conclusion I actually did not want to have children not withstanding financial struggles with h.
This decision was finalized about 4-5 years ago and I discussed with him at that time on several occasions if this is a deal breaker I totally understand and we can part ways as I cant compromise on this. ( he has 3 children already late teens to mid 20s, I do not want to adopt either). He assured me he didn't need children to be with me.
After the affair, the o/w coming to my house and the subsequent nonsense, I had put off leaving stbxh for several reasons one to give him a chance and I hadn't known anything else didn't want to just throw away the marriage without trying. In case stbxh didn't show remorse and do the work needed to restore things I had plan to save money and leave when the time was right for me preferably before fall.
So after seeing h had no real remorse and fact he was often defiant, I began looking for the exit but being ambivalent about the marriage towards him all while looking to transfer. After a few false listings a prime one came up for Hawaii in which I am currently a candidate and trying to get the position.
The h has no idea. I have not unpaused our marriage since I suspected the affair and I believe he continues to see the o/w and also online dates so I will not resume anything and he is very frustrated and acting out with this last stunt being the latest.
Anyway as ridiculous as this scenario is, I am still very upset with the prospect of being single again but ready to end this once and for all and wondering a few things:
if any one has experience with pro se divorce with no kids any tips…
any ideas of how to get by emotionally, ease pain and loneness ...
has anyone divorced and not spoken to their x ever again after it was final …
I am feeling heartbroken and worry about my ability to attract the right person in the future if I can even have a meaning relationship …
( Husband ended affair, other woman shows up at our home to confront).
Well its turns out after nearly 12 years of marriage, stbxh decides to have an affair, then tries to false R multiple times and now attempts to give me an ultimatum that he wont try for true R unless I agree to have a child/ children with him which will show him I am not holding anything against him. Needless to say I declined and preparing for divorce…
The history on this is that after years of marriage and some feminine health issues found its not wise for me to not try and but the main reason is that after much thought and evaluation of what I wanted, I came to conclusion I actually did not want to have children not withstanding financial struggles with h.
This decision was finalized about 4-5 years ago and I discussed with him at that time on several occasions if this is a deal breaker I totally understand and we can part ways as I cant compromise on this. ( he has 3 children already late teens to mid 20s, I do not want to adopt either). He assured me he didn't need children to be with me.
After the affair, the o/w coming to my house and the subsequent nonsense, I had put off leaving stbxh for several reasons one to give him a chance and I hadn't known anything else didn't want to just throw away the marriage without trying. In case stbxh didn't show remorse and do the work needed to restore things I had plan to save money and leave when the time was right for me preferably before fall.
So after seeing h had no real remorse and fact he was often defiant, I began looking for the exit but being ambivalent about the marriage towards him all while looking to transfer. After a few false listings a prime one came up for Hawaii in which I am currently a candidate and trying to get the position.
The h has no idea. I have not unpaused our marriage since I suspected the affair and I believe he continues to see the o/w and also online dates so I will not resume anything and he is very frustrated and acting out with this last stunt being the latest.
Anyway as ridiculous as this scenario is, I am still very upset with the prospect of being single again but ready to end this once and for all and wondering a few things:
if any one has experience with pro se divorce with no kids any tips…
any ideas of how to get by emotionally, ease pain and loneness ...
has anyone divorced and not spoken to their x ever again after it was final …
I am feeling heartbroken and worry about my ability to attract the right person in the future if I can even have a meaning relationship …
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