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Building up hatred

well, i'm almost divorced. decided to go 50/50 on the custody with the kids.

already got over my stbxw, how ever. there's things she does that really piss me off.

not sure if i should be getting pissed or why i get pissed.

after she cheated on me, i lost total trust on her, all the lies, lie after lie to cover up the affair. it was just too much to handle.

anyways, what she has been doing lately when she has the kids, she goes to her friends house.

i hate that friend cause she had a lot to do with the affair. she helped her. i know she didnt force her but she made things easier.

she goes to her friends house with my kids and leaves them there. my son is 6 so he kind of knows what's going on, she tells him she is going to work, at night? when she works day time. and leaves my kids there.

pisses me of, not sure why.

maybe cause she's not doing her job as a parent.
maybe cause she's leaving the kids with the person i hate.
i dont want her back and dont care if she's seeing someone else.
she's such a callous person with no spine.

always blackmailing me about child support.
hell i havent worked for 6 months now due to my adhd.
she works.

i take care of the kids 4 days a week so she can go to work.
fridays she doesnt work.

every time she tells me she has work on friday, i wonder if she's telling me truth or just lying.

last week she said she had work friday and monday off.
i found out she took the kids to her friends on monday and told my son she has work.
then friday she was off, said she called out?

it's just so damn hard to even try to put a bit of trust on such a person.

the worst part is 16 more years of this bs.

i can keep going and going but i'll cut it short.

any comments or points of view are welcome. thanks

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