So I'm new here, hi. Just looking through the overwhelming amount of unhappy people here and it's really bringing me down...which is the opposite of what I had hoped! Lol. But that's ok. Anyhow, here's my sob story...which damn, I guess it's not much of one considering there's others going through MUCH worse...but it still sucks to be unhappy.
So, my h and I met very young in college, got married at 22. We were our first everythings...I mean, we had gone out with other people, but come on, you can only really "date" a person to a certain extent in your teens. So now we're 33/34, have been married 11 years and I feel like it's slowly and painfully going downhill. We have 2 young daughters and that's a whole nother issue because since they've been born, it's spawned a whole new set of issues regarding parenting, etc. that I didn't know that I would ever have with him. We are two totally opposite people but we knew that from the start and never tried to change each other. In fact, it's good on some levels since we balance each other out. But for the past few years it feels like we live on different planets. It's not horrible. I still love him. He's a good guy. Sex is great. He doesn't cheat on me. But it's just not fun anymore. And I'm the kind of person that NEEDS FUN! And spontenaeity and the whole shebang I suppos e. More so than I realized when we got married at 22. And he just doesn't need those things. He is content to just simply sit....and sit....and sit some more. He thrives on routine. I wish u could have looked into a crystal ball before we got married and told him, "Look. You're going to have to entertain me. It won't be fun for you. So leave while you still can." For example: He hates spending money. I'm cool with that. So I saw this goofy idea where for the next date night, you just get in the car, flip a coin for 20 minutes and heads it's right turn, tails it's left turn. Well we ended up going in a giant circle. I thought it was hilarious. He was miffed that we wasted the gas. I feel like every time I try, he shoots me down. I've tried to let him decide what we want to do on date nights but all I get is "Idontknowhatdoyouwanttodo". I've asked him if he would go to counseling but I don't know if we would have the time or money for that, although he is open to it. He admits he has flaws and I definitely know I do too. I just feel like I've tried everything to make things more exciting and I'm finding out it's just so difficult and frustrating when you've reached the point where you finish each other's sentences (and not in a cute way), know what the other is thinking about, where they are every waking moment, and are so connected it's almost stifling. Maybe we need time apart, but that's so difficult with kids and jobs and activities....Ughhhhhh.
So, my h and I met very young in college, got married at 22. We were our first everythings...I mean, we had gone out with other people, but come on, you can only really "date" a person to a certain extent in your teens. So now we're 33/34, have been married 11 years and I feel like it's slowly and painfully going downhill. We have 2 young daughters and that's a whole nother issue because since they've been born, it's spawned a whole new set of issues regarding parenting, etc. that I didn't know that I would ever have with him. We are two totally opposite people but we knew that from the start and never tried to change each other. In fact, it's good on some levels since we balance each other out. But for the past few years it feels like we live on different planets. It's not horrible. I still love him. He's a good guy. Sex is great. He doesn't cheat on me. But it's just not fun anymore. And I'm the kind of person that NEEDS FUN! And spontenaeity and the whole shebang I suppos e. More so than I realized when we got married at 22. And he just doesn't need those things. He is content to just simply sit....and sit....and sit some more. He thrives on routine. I wish u could have looked into a crystal ball before we got married and told him, "Look. You're going to have to entertain me. It won't be fun for you. So leave while you still can." For example: He hates spending money. I'm cool with that. So I saw this goofy idea where for the next date night, you just get in the car, flip a coin for 20 minutes and heads it's right turn, tails it's left turn. Well we ended up going in a giant circle. I thought it was hilarious. He was miffed that we wasted the gas. I feel like every time I try, he shoots me down. I've tried to let him decide what we want to do on date nights but all I get is "Idontknowhatdoyouwanttodo". I've asked him if he would go to counseling but I don't know if we would have the time or money for that, although he is open to it. He admits he has flaws and I definitely know I do too. I just feel like I've tried everything to make things more exciting and I'm finding out it's just so difficult and frustrating when you've reached the point where you finish each other's sentences (and not in a cute way), know what the other is thinking about, where they are every waking moment, and are so connected it's almost stifling. Maybe we need time apart, but that's so difficult with kids and jobs and activities....Ughhhhhh.
Put the internet to work for you.
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