Hi everyone,
I've written a lot about my journey here, but for those who don't know, a quick recap: My husband and I have been married 3 years, we have a 2 year old daughter. We lived as a joint family with his mom, older brother, and sister. His brother got married and his wife came to live with us too, and they had a kid as well. This arrangement caused me intense suffering/unhappiness, my husband and I argued a lot, he would yell at me in front of them, and tell me to "leave", our arguments escalated to a 3-hour screaming episode where he told me to get out of the house and that he didn't want me anymore. So I left two days later while he was at work.
He called me, asked me to come back, asked to give him another chance, etc. I said no. I told him the only way I'd give him another chance, is if he moved in to an apartment with me and went to counselling for his anger - I refused to live with his family anymore.
He hasn't done any of those things, it's been 7 months. We tried reconciling and got close - but any time I ask him to leave his mom/brother, he just shuts down and blames me. I've moved in to a condo by myself with my daughter. My husband has not even commented on it.
What would you do in this situation?
For the longest time, I told myself: He's not worth it, he chose his biological family over the family he made with me, he disappointed me, he's got temper/anger issues, and that I just need to move on. He really broke my heart with his 3-hour screaming episode (which had happened before, but the last one was just too intense and I realized that if I stayed, I would just be a doormat, period).
But now that I'm living on my own, I constantly miss him. I miss being married, and I still love him. I remember our good times together and his affectionate/kind side (he was good to me, a lot of the time too). 80% of the time he was a great husband...but as soon as I did or said something that he considered disrespectful, he turned in to a monster. I try to remind myself of that, when I miss him.
When I think about signing the divorce papers, it is SO PAINFUL for me to even imagine, let alone actually do. But he's living with his Mommy and brother and brother's wife/child. I think his ego tells him not to give in to my "demands" otherwise he'll seem weak in front of his family? He is a VERY stubborn person.
Sometimes I want to just text him or call him and cry, other times I want to yell at him and say, "What kind of husband and father are you? Where is your honour?" But it's all futile...because I'm afraid he will smirk and tell his family, and they will be happy that I'm in emotional turmoil.
How do I get over my feelings...he's my husband...I am devastated.
I've written a lot about my journey here, but for those who don't know, a quick recap: My husband and I have been married 3 years, we have a 2 year old daughter. We lived as a joint family with his mom, older brother, and sister. His brother got married and his wife came to live with us too, and they had a kid as well. This arrangement caused me intense suffering/unhappiness, my husband and I argued a lot, he would yell at me in front of them, and tell me to "leave", our arguments escalated to a 3-hour screaming episode where he told me to get out of the house and that he didn't want me anymore. So I left two days later while he was at work.
He called me, asked me to come back, asked to give him another chance, etc. I said no. I told him the only way I'd give him another chance, is if he moved in to an apartment with me and went to counselling for his anger - I refused to live with his family anymore.
He hasn't done any of those things, it's been 7 months. We tried reconciling and got close - but any time I ask him to leave his mom/brother, he just shuts down and blames me. I've moved in to a condo by myself with my daughter. My husband has not even commented on it.
What would you do in this situation?
For the longest time, I told myself: He's not worth it, he chose his biological family over the family he made with me, he disappointed me, he's got temper/anger issues, and that I just need to move on. He really broke my heart with his 3-hour screaming episode (which had happened before, but the last one was just too intense and I realized that if I stayed, I would just be a doormat, period).
But now that I'm living on my own, I constantly miss him. I miss being married, and I still love him. I remember our good times together and his affectionate/kind side (he was good to me, a lot of the time too). 80% of the time he was a great husband...but as soon as I did or said something that he considered disrespectful, he turned in to a monster. I try to remind myself of that, when I miss him.
When I think about signing the divorce papers, it is SO PAINFUL for me to even imagine, let alone actually do. But he's living with his Mommy and brother and brother's wife/child. I think his ego tells him not to give in to my "demands" otherwise he'll seem weak in front of his family? He is a VERY stubborn person.
Sometimes I want to just text him or call him and cry, other times I want to yell at him and say, "What kind of husband and father are you? Where is your honour?" But it's all futile...because I'm afraid he will smirk and tell his family, and they will be happy that I'm in emotional turmoil.
How do I get over my feelings...he's my husband...I am devastated.
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