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A Cheating Husband - how do you cope and rebuild trust again?

My husband and I have been together since 2005. At first when we got together I had some trust issues from another relationship. Eventually we got over them within the first few months of our relationship when he opened up to me that his ex cheated on him and he was heart broken. We made a promise to each other and I know this sounds silly. "To leave first if you wanted to cheat."

My husband has always struggled with alcohol. His addiction got so bad that I was hiding in the room from him and he started coming in the room drunk to yell at me. The last night he broke everything in our home. So I left. Two months I moved in with my mom and took a leave from work. He never hurt me physically. But from then on he had promised me he would go to counselling and quit drinking. Things were going great. He was in counselling and a few months went by. He proposed to me told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

I was overjoyed, because I really loved him. A year later we get married and his biological mom totally destroys our wedding with his biological sister. A month later I am pregnant when I was told I couldn't have children. Tensions were still high with his biological family which was hard. His adoptive parents have been gone a few years.

He asked in November if we could go to the city to watch a football game. Well I wasn't too interested but his friends were. So I went to go see my sister while he was at the game. He came out of the game wasted. Continued to be mean to me the entire way home. Told me he was going to leave me and take cash jobs for the rest of his life. Everything is in my name so he'd leave me with the debt as well.

I was so destroyed. I felt so heartbroken and alone in our relationship and pregnant with a baby. Christmas time comes and my mom gets sick. She didn't tell me just how sick she was things go very badly and by March she dies just two months before I had my baby.

Financially we are totally struggling because my husband couldn't find work. So we ask my step dad if he can take us in for a while until we get back on our feet. Not too long after we move to a smaller town. June the following year after my mom died he confesses to me that he had been sexually abused as a child. Not long in our new town I found out my husband is sexting one of my long time enemies. I was so upset. He was planning on moving in with her but she wanted no part in it. As time goes by I start looking more into what hes been doing. Because I took him back. I find out he's been sexting girls since my mom died.

He promised me no more. But Christmas I found more girls and I was so angry this time I treated him like crap...had his head totally spinning because I was working my revenge. I hated everything about him. I talked to a counselor and lately we've been working on it. But he again decided to start texting another girl. Everyone tells me shes a **** but she told me that he's been venting to her about me. How awful I am and how I don't trust him to do anything anymore. He came home and told me he'd cut up his SIM card in his phone and cancel the plan because he felt he couldn't trust himself on that phone anymore. (Now I feel like it's easier for him to hide whatever he has planned.) I never asked him to cancel his phone I asked him to give me complete honesty and let me see what he was writing to people because he frequently deleted threads and phone calls made on his phone.

When I talk to my husband he yells over me and doesn't hear anything I have to say. When I tell him I'm hurting and don't trust him he tells me I'm crazy. I feel like I am going crazy. I really don't like this feeling anymore. I don't want to be without my husband but I don't want to feel like this anymore either. I feel like now he's taking advantage because he know's what he can get away with now. When do I draw the line. To me he's continually crossed the line. My 21 month old daughter seems to be paying the price for our relationship and I'm afraid I'm not putting her needs in front of mine by staying with him. She loves him so much. When he's not there she's looking for him. I just want to do right by my daughter.

IFTTT

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