First let me tell you a little something about our situation. I'm 36 and she's 25. We've been together since she was 18 and I was 28. We met at work and even though we never planned on being anything more than a fling. But after about 9 months of messing around she got pregnant with our first daughter. We decided we would give "us" a serious go at it, since we both came from divorced parents. We new we didn't want our kid coming up with two separate families. I left the job where we met shortly after she got pregnant in order to take a higher paying job. A couple months After our daughter was born my father got terminally ill and was living in a different state. So 2-3 times a week I would make the 6 hour drive to go see him immediately after I got out of work. Then turn around and drive back a couple hours later to go back to work or to spend a few hours with my family. While I was logging all these crazy hours and miles one night I happened I log on to our computer and I found that she had been having a cyber affair with her ex. They never met up but she would send him pics and message him all day. I was to tired to and stressed with my dads situation and having a new baby. That I told her never to do it again or we were done. She cried and swore that she wouldn't. I let it be and moved on. Fast forward two years later and she's pregnant again this time with my son. But there were complications 2 weeks before he was due and we lost him. We immediately tried to have another baby and she got pregnant almost immediately. We had another beautiful baby girl less than a year after we lost our son. We were both on cloud 9 and madly in love. Or so I thought. After she went back to work she started bringing up my ex assistant manager in conversation from time to time (we're now in September 2014). So one day I confronted her and asked if she was having an affair with him. And of course like all cheaters she said no. Since I had no evidence I dropped the subject. About month later I happened to notice her receiving a message on her phone from a number with no contact info saying something vague like, of course I liked it. I wanted to find out a little more before i confronted her so I didn't bring it to her attention. The very next day our baby ended up in the ER then transferred to the P.I.C.U. and staying in there for a week. So I never investigated the message and I actually forgot about it because of our daughter's hospital visit. We both took time off but I only took 2 weeks off to care for our daughter. Because If I don't work the bills don't get paid. So I went back to work doing a physically demanding job working 12-13 a day. after a month my wife went back to work too. My daughter mean while has multiple doctors appointments a week now, but that is a whole other story. From time to time I noticed these random texts on her phone from her saying "can i borrow your keys to the wine room." And him saying "ok I'll be there right now" . But I couldn't prove anything yet because for her job she does actually have to borrow keys to the wine room from managers. It just seemed strange that she would only text this number to ask for the keys and not any other manager. I even checked our phone bill but they only text a couple times a month while at work. so i still didn't have the proof to bring them down. Fast forward to mid January my wife tells me my ex assistant manager found a new job and would be quitting soon. You could tell she wasn't happy about, but she wasn't sad either. He no longer works there and Then comes February 19th 2015. I just happen to log on to our phone provider to pay our bill and notice that all of a sudden she had texted that same number over 300 times in the last week having sent 20 pics messages too. But she always erases all the texts before i get home. when I see this I know I have her dead to rights. But I want concrete evidence so I download an app on to her phone that records all texts and pics taken. I want to be able to show her that I have the evidence. But I couldn't wait. I called the number and and asked the voice on the other end if this was .... and I said his name and he just asked who's this and I told him who I was and he just panicked said uuuh. uuuuuh. then hung up. I then called my wife at work and asked her was it merely flirting or did you have an affair w/the OM and she said there was no sex. I then asked her who it was and she said she couldn't tell me. I then asked her if it was because I knew the other person and she said yes. I then said it was .... after all and she said yes. and that they did indeed have sex. And I asked her if they ever used protection and she said no. and I then asked her if he finished inside of her she said no. I then asked her if she ever had him in her mouth and she said yes. I then asked if he finished her mouth and she said yes,but she didn't want him to, that he didn't warn her and just let it go. I hung up with her and called the OM back over and over and over and over again until he finally answered. And I asked him why and how long. He swore it only happened twice. Once in December and once in early February. I called him a few names and hung up in anger. My wife called me back multiple times before I decided to answer. Then came the water works and all the normal stuff, I don't like him, the sex was horrible, there's no emotions involved what so ever. It's just something that happened because it felt good to be wanted sexually again by someone else anyone else, it gave her a high she hadn't had in long time. Especially with all the tough times we've endured over the years blah blah blah. I asked where it took place and she said in the wine room downstairs at work. And that it had been going on since september 2014. But that he would put it in her for maaayybbbeee 2 mins then pull out because he was afraid someone would hear and catch them. so he only finished twice, so from what I can gather he only counted the 2 times he finished as the affair saying there weren't any other sexual encounters with her. The next day I drove to the OM's new job and he was scared when he heard my voice on the other end of the phone when I called his office to tell him I was outside. He came outside and started blaming her for everything and then said he was a sex addict and would've slept with anyone it just so happened my wife was there and willing. That it happened to him so he wanted to get his wife back. That he and his wife have an open relationship but she could only be with women and he could do his thing as long as he didn't get caught. That he cried that whole night and how he begged her to stop every time but she wouldn't and being a sex addict he couldn't resist. That since he left the old job he started going to church and blah blah blah but He stuck to his story saying it only happened twice once around c hristmas and once about 3 weeks ago. From text records I can gather it was 12/28/2014 and 02/1/2015. When I got home home I told her what he said and you could just see her start to upset but didn't say anything. I just told her had she been there she would've punched him just by the stuff he said about her. I didn't lay a finger on him because he's not worth going jail for and losing my kids. she then repeated her story that it happened a handful of times but that he indeed only finish twice.SO now I have a wife who I love who's cheated on me with someone I knew, who's leaving her job very soon to care for, a baby who has to go to so many different therapy sessions and specialists it would make your head spin and A soon to be 5 year old. I don't feel I can leave in good conscious or take my kids from there mother. I've stuck around for now but I haven't fully decided to if I can stick out for the run yet. Here it is 7 days later and I've only slept about 12 hours and eaten 3-4 times. I'm a wreck, I've only worked one day all week. I obsess about the affair, going through this emotional roller coaster. They both called it a playfair, saying there was no feelings involved, neither ever promissed each other anything or ever had a thought of leaving there spouse. What would've happened if I wouldn't have caught them. WOuld it have continued and gotten worse considering she was about to have more free time...idk
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