Hello, I am very new. I want to win back my wife. Here is my story. I have been married 11 years. We have four children together and I helped her raise her son from before we met since he was 4. He just turned 17 and he chose and always called me dad. I never treated him any differently than my own child. My wife had separated with me Dec. 28th. I was crushed. The problem or should I say the straw that broke the camels back was that I accused her of cheating. Things during the last month or two was odd. She shut down and wouldnt talk with me so I tried to reason what the sitch could be and I was already very insecure by then so I felt that she was cheating. One day it slipped out and things were never the same. I felt her slipping away and there was nothing I could do. Everything I did was wrong. She asked me to leave for two days and then we would talk. I left but I kept trying to talk to her. I begged I pleaded... before I knew it she said she wanted a divorce. I was crushed. I was hard on her. I had brought some insecurities into our marriage that grew over time. We did everything together. We loved being around each other. All the way till the end. Two months before she left she held my face and looked me dead in the eye and said "I believe in you" I didnt get it then but I realize now that was her scream to me to get it together. She has moved in with her sister in law 45 minutes away. She took the car and the kids. we have joint custody but I get to see them on weekends. Up until now we have had very little contact. before the legal custody papers she was bringing them down once a week and we all (her and I too) got along great. I thought she was being nice because of the kids but I swear she still has that look for me. Anything other than the kids and she is not there at all! No talk of us. She has asked me repeatedly not to contact her unless its about the kids. I learned about no contact and I am working on myself b ut it is hard to not have contact because of the kids. I have respected all her wishes till now... dont contact except for kids... leave friends and family alone. I encourage the kids to be good for her and her new friends but the kids are acting out. The only time she calls is to have me talk to the kids. What can I do? Is there a letter I should write? I dont know what to do... I truely believe she still loves me deep down but she is so cold. When we do talk about the kids she is responsive like we are still married. she insisted that she wants a divorce. Please help... steps advice something please I dont want to loose her. Oh she blocked me on facebook so I set up a fake profile and probed her some and she tells me (unknowingly) that she will never go back to her ex-husband (we arent even legaly seperated yet) She says the reasons she left will never change. Im sure I know what most of those reasons are and I have been getting help for that. She also says "he wont stop t rying to get me back" (meaning me) Since then I stopped. Please help what can I do?
I told the kids to have faith and hope... She says dont tell the kids we are getting back together. The scariest part is that the 17 year old wont talk to me and says he dont want me back either... So odd cause I know he loved me. Also that i dont think she would ever take the chance on putting the kids through this kind of seperation again so why would she take me back. Im sooo lost please help
By the way the whole cheating thing... I never had proof I betrayed her trust. I was looking through her phone... that was never a problem before for either of us but after I accused her of cheating it was a low blow to her I am sure of it. It was that night that she said she wanted me to leave the next day.
She served me divorce papers 5 days later but the atturney says I have two years to work on that so that is exactly what I want to do.
I have always supported her and her efforts. I have encouraged her and she did me as well. What I am sure wore on her is my negative attitude and damaging our things. I am doing very well with all that now because of counciling. But she doesnt give me a chance to show her Im changing.... She is changing too. a year ago she got a good job and I think that has a lot to do with things too... she has freedom (kinda) for the first time since she was fourteen (she is 31 now) and had her first son. She took that responsibility herself then. I think part of this thing is that she is finding something new in herself. She says she is happier without me. That crushes me. I dont believe she really is. but I think she believes she really is. It doesnt help that her family is encouraging her to divorce. I dont know how to compete with that. Again Please help... Thank you so much in advance.
I told the kids to have faith and hope... She says dont tell the kids we are getting back together. The scariest part is that the 17 year old wont talk to me and says he dont want me back either... So odd cause I know he loved me. Also that i dont think she would ever take the chance on putting the kids through this kind of seperation again so why would she take me back. Im sooo lost please help
By the way the whole cheating thing... I never had proof I betrayed her trust. I was looking through her phone... that was never a problem before for either of us but after I accused her of cheating it was a low blow to her I am sure of it. It was that night that she said she wanted me to leave the next day.
She served me divorce papers 5 days later but the atturney says I have two years to work on that so that is exactly what I want to do.
I have always supported her and her efforts. I have encouraged her and she did me as well. What I am sure wore on her is my negative attitude and damaging our things. I am doing very well with all that now because of counciling. But she doesnt give me a chance to show her Im changing.... She is changing too. a year ago she got a good job and I think that has a lot to do with things too... she has freedom (kinda) for the first time since she was fourteen (she is 31 now) and had her first son. She took that responsibility herself then. I think part of this thing is that she is finding something new in herself. She says she is happier without me. That crushes me. I dont believe she really is. but I think she believes she really is. It doesnt help that her family is encouraging her to divorce. I dont know how to compete with that. Again Please help... Thank you so much in advance.
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