First of all, joining this site and making this post is a huge step. I am feeling so alone and lost I do not know where to turn. One thing I do know is that I need to release and tell my story. Hoping there is some advice available.
My husband and I have been together for 8+ years, and have been married for a year and a half of those. We have always been open and honest with each other. I feel as if that is what our strong marriage has been built on and now that the trust is broken, it is hard to even think about how fairytale like the past was...
Anyway, he had befriended a young girl at work (18 year old) and I was ok with the relationship because I trust him completely and he is an easy guy to get along with and to confide in. People often go to him for help and advice because he is knowledgeable and wise. I have male friends that I confide in and it's not topics I wouldn't bring up to my husband, they are simply friends that I trust their opinion and advice with. My husband knows this as well and it was just something we have always been ok with. Until...I noticed he was texting this girl often. Daily. I could see her name on his screen from a distance. When I walk past him he would quickly turn the phone away/press the screensaver button. I asked him if something had been going on and he said no, that they were just friends. I asked him more than once, over the course of 6 months or so. He continually said no. He said "I should just stop talking to her" I said yes thank you I think that is best. Then I still notic ed that they were texting.
Well, he got a new phone. I asked to have his old phone to use it for the camera. Well long behold, upon lots of searching (he thought he deleted the messages) I found explicit messages between them. He asked for naughty pictures. She sent them. He would tell her how hot she looked at work, said things that he was going to do to her...she said that he couldn't do things to her because he was "tied down" and he said "I've already crossed the line what's the difference?"
I blew up. Took our 3 month old baby (Yep, a child is involved.) to my parents and stayed there for 4 nights. I am now staying home trying to make it work. He swears nothing physical happened. I am trying to believe him but I cannot. Especially after he had lied so many times. I know he is sorry. Remorseful. Regretful. He breaks down and cries in front of me...saying how embarrassed he is. He says the things he said were things he could never do in person. I asked him why he did it...he still doesn't have an answer. In my opinion you don't text someone things like that without having an underlying motive. He said something about comparing it to phone sex. Yeah...phone sex is for men who are single, boring, and alone. And not to mention it's not someone who you work with. He had an emotional fair. He went behind my back. He lied repeatedly. I was so invested in our relationship. It was perfect. We tried for awhile to have a baby and when it finally happened...everything felt r ight. And suddenly it was gone. OH, he also said this has been going on since before I was pregnant, so over a year ago.
There is much more I could say but I will leave you with this. If I think of any more valuable information I will be sure to add it. If you have read this long post and are able to formulate a response, I appreciate it greatly.
My husband and I have been together for 8+ years, and have been married for a year and a half of those. We have always been open and honest with each other. I feel as if that is what our strong marriage has been built on and now that the trust is broken, it is hard to even think about how fairytale like the past was...
Anyway, he had befriended a young girl at work (18 year old) and I was ok with the relationship because I trust him completely and he is an easy guy to get along with and to confide in. People often go to him for help and advice because he is knowledgeable and wise. I have male friends that I confide in and it's not topics I wouldn't bring up to my husband, they are simply friends that I trust their opinion and advice with. My husband knows this as well and it was just something we have always been ok with. Until...I noticed he was texting this girl often. Daily. I could see her name on his screen from a distance. When I walk past him he would quickly turn the phone away/press the screensaver button. I asked him if something had been going on and he said no, that they were just friends. I asked him more than once, over the course of 6 months or so. He continually said no. He said "I should just stop talking to her" I said yes thank you I think that is best. Then I still notic ed that they were texting.
Well, he got a new phone. I asked to have his old phone to use it for the camera. Well long behold, upon lots of searching (he thought he deleted the messages) I found explicit messages between them. He asked for naughty pictures. She sent them. He would tell her how hot she looked at work, said things that he was going to do to her...she said that he couldn't do things to her because he was "tied down" and he said "I've already crossed the line what's the difference?"
I blew up. Took our 3 month old baby (Yep, a child is involved.) to my parents and stayed there for 4 nights. I am now staying home trying to make it work. He swears nothing physical happened. I am trying to believe him but I cannot. Especially after he had lied so many times. I know he is sorry. Remorseful. Regretful. He breaks down and cries in front of me...saying how embarrassed he is. He says the things he said were things he could never do in person. I asked him why he did it...he still doesn't have an answer. In my opinion you don't text someone things like that without having an underlying motive. He said something about comparing it to phone sex. Yeah...phone sex is for men who are single, boring, and alone. And not to mention it's not someone who you work with. He had an emotional fair. He went behind my back. He lied repeatedly. I was so invested in our relationship. It was perfect. We tried for awhile to have a baby and when it finally happened...everything felt r ight. And suddenly it was gone. OH, he also said this has been going on since before I was pregnant, so over a year ago.
There is much more I could say but I will leave you with this. If I think of any more valuable information I will be sure to add it. If you have read this long post and are able to formulate a response, I appreciate it greatly.
Put the internet to work for you.
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