Last week I was at Church when a friend mentioned to my dad that they should try and hook me up with his female cousin, who lives in a city 5 hours away.
I told my father to not do anything, since I do not believe I am ready to be in a relationship. Then I came home on friday night, I had her phone number waiting for me.
I called her because I didn't want to think I didn't have interest and because initially I was excited. We had some great conversations and she invited me to come see her, but... I don't feel I am ready yet. I am still excited to see her and feel like we probably could be a match, but as I will show below, I have been through hell in the last 5 or 6 months and just need to focus on myself.
Here is the thing, I had seen the woman in the past and though she was attractive, but I was in another relationship and that was that. Well, I ended the other relationship and had considered asking her out, when I was ready, until my father interfered...
So why am I not ready?
-I had major surgery 5 months ago, where I almost died.
-I've been off work for 5 months
-I am still not 100% over my X.
-I just want to get my own life back together before I jump into another relationship.
-I need to move back out again from my parents house
I don't want to blow this potential away, but right now, I just seriously don't feel like I am ready (or maybe I am wrong, and I am but just don't know it yet).
I was thinking to go see her on the weekend and get to know her a little better, and possibly tell her in person "Look, I really like you (assuming I like her after the first date, and her me) but due to everything that has happened, I need to focus on my life right now over the next 3 - 5 months. Is there any way we can do this?"
I am being an idiot here? Is there any way to tell her in a proper way that I am really not ready right now, and that it isn't "double speek" or "reading between the lines" or whatever? Should I just date her and see what happens, and if she can't handle it, fine, then break up later (it hurts more though).
Some advice is needed :)
Thanks.
I told my father to not do anything, since I do not believe I am ready to be in a relationship. Then I came home on friday night, I had her phone number waiting for me.
I called her because I didn't want to think I didn't have interest and because initially I was excited. We had some great conversations and she invited me to come see her, but... I don't feel I am ready yet. I am still excited to see her and feel like we probably could be a match, but as I will show below, I have been through hell in the last 5 or 6 months and just need to focus on myself.
Here is the thing, I had seen the woman in the past and though she was attractive, but I was in another relationship and that was that. Well, I ended the other relationship and had considered asking her out, when I was ready, until my father interfered...
So why am I not ready?
-I had major surgery 5 months ago, where I almost died.
-I've been off work for 5 months
-I am still not 100% over my X.
-I just want to get my own life back together before I jump into another relationship.
-I need to move back out again from my parents house
I don't want to blow this potential away, but right now, I just seriously don't feel like I am ready (or maybe I am wrong, and I am but just don't know it yet).
I was thinking to go see her on the weekend and get to know her a little better, and possibly tell her in person "Look, I really like you (assuming I like her after the first date, and her me) but due to everything that has happened, I need to focus on my life right now over the next 3 - 5 months. Is there any way we can do this?"
I am being an idiot here? Is there any way to tell her in a proper way that I am really not ready right now, and that it isn't "double speek" or "reading between the lines" or whatever? Should I just date her and see what happens, and if she can't handle it, fine, then break up later (it hurts more though).
Some advice is needed :)
Thanks.
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