Most of you remember me and my story. Most of you were upset with me when I decided to go back home and work things out with my wife.
I understand that.
For the most part, the emotional abuse has ended. Since I have been home, there has only been one or two times when she has lost it and called me names, but she apologized later.
I am only here because I just need some people to talk to and was wondering if anyone could lend an ear. I already know what I have to do, as the game has changed now. I already have started the plans in motion, it is just a waiting game now.
So before, I left a long detailed post about my 17 year old stepson. He has been in out of jail (just like his father who is currently doing 2 years)and is a constant trouble maker. His existence makes me sick to my stomach!
Anyway, short of all of the criminal things he has done in the past five years, in August of this year, I came home and went into his room and found that he was using chewing tobacco. I found it everywhere. The spit bottles, everything. It was nasty!
I brought this up to his mother, who was more mad at me than her kid. Her kid ran away shortly after for a couple of months. He has been home now for about 10 days.
I went into his room last night, I found more tobacco, a blunt, a bottle of vodka and a lighter.
I took all of these things and threw them away! I did not say anything to my wife because the goal was not to get the kid in trouble, but to get the stuff away from the kid and out of my house.
I was actually hoping that the kid would say something to me and I was going to tell him to stop bringing that stuff under my roof.
Instead, he went and told his mother, who, via text even though we were in the same house, told me to stay the f*** out of her son's room. I told her what I found, but she told me that she doesn't care and that stuff was bought for him and I have no right to go into his room.
I tried to apply logic. I told her that she should want her son to lead a happy and healthy life and not contribute to his delinquency by letting him chew tobacco, drink alcohol and do drugs.
She told me that if I didn't like it, I could leave.
Which I have to do now. It is an ethical thing. It no longer has to do with love or marriage or sticking by someone, this is an adult enabling the delinquency of a minor!
Last Sunday, my wife went out with her friends. She came in at 2:43am on Monday morning, completely hammered. She couldn't even talk. We found out the next day, her car was damaged. She doesn't remember hitting anything of course, as she was so drunk, she doesn't even remember coming home.
Anyway, after that happened, she said to me, "I'm not a good person am I? I am a horrible human being." I said, if you feel that way, change it.
She said she will.
So I tried that during this conversation. I said to her, "please, be a responsible adult with me here and keep your promise and be a better human being. Because right now, you are being a lousy parent, a horrible spouse and a despicable human being!
For some reason, I didn't get thru. She just kept telling me to get out and that I was wrong for going thru his room and taking his stuff.
I even explained it clearly on text, "so you would rather enable your child's drug addiction and delinquency than be a responsible human being a d a loving wife? And she said "yes."
Hopefully this helps me in divorce court when she requests spousal support.
My wife's mother owns this house. She came over today and I asked her if she knew what happened last night. She said, "yes".
She said, "I am going to tell you one thing. I was upset when you searched thru his room in August and I am even more upset that you did it again now."
I said to her, "I found drugs and alcohol in his room."
She said, "I don't care! It's not your place to go thru his things."
AM I IN CRAZY LAND? Seriously people. Did I do something wrong?
I do not want illegal activity to take place in my home. PERIOD! There is no room for negotiation for this!
But am I to believe that a woman who is the landlord of a property, is ok with her tenants, consisting of her daughter and grandson, keeping illegal narcotics in the house. And am I to believe that this woman is ok with her daughter supplying, enabling and protecting her grandson's delinquency?
What am I doing wrong here?
I understand that.
For the most part, the emotional abuse has ended. Since I have been home, there has only been one or two times when she has lost it and called me names, but she apologized later.
I am only here because I just need some people to talk to and was wondering if anyone could lend an ear. I already know what I have to do, as the game has changed now. I already have started the plans in motion, it is just a waiting game now.
So before, I left a long detailed post about my 17 year old stepson. He has been in out of jail (just like his father who is currently doing 2 years)and is a constant trouble maker. His existence makes me sick to my stomach!
Anyway, short of all of the criminal things he has done in the past five years, in August of this year, I came home and went into his room and found that he was using chewing tobacco. I found it everywhere. The spit bottles, everything. It was nasty!
I brought this up to his mother, who was more mad at me than her kid. Her kid ran away shortly after for a couple of months. He has been home now for about 10 days.
I went into his room last night, I found more tobacco, a blunt, a bottle of vodka and a lighter.
I took all of these things and threw them away! I did not say anything to my wife because the goal was not to get the kid in trouble, but to get the stuff away from the kid and out of my house.
I was actually hoping that the kid would say something to me and I was going to tell him to stop bringing that stuff under my roof.
Instead, he went and told his mother, who, via text even though we were in the same house, told me to stay the f*** out of her son's room. I told her what I found, but she told me that she doesn't care and that stuff was bought for him and I have no right to go into his room.
I tried to apply logic. I told her that she should want her son to lead a happy and healthy life and not contribute to his delinquency by letting him chew tobacco, drink alcohol and do drugs.
She told me that if I didn't like it, I could leave.
Which I have to do now. It is an ethical thing. It no longer has to do with love or marriage or sticking by someone, this is an adult enabling the delinquency of a minor!
Last Sunday, my wife went out with her friends. She came in at 2:43am on Monday morning, completely hammered. She couldn't even talk. We found out the next day, her car was damaged. She doesn't remember hitting anything of course, as she was so drunk, she doesn't even remember coming home.
Anyway, after that happened, she said to me, "I'm not a good person am I? I am a horrible human being." I said, if you feel that way, change it.
She said she will.
So I tried that during this conversation. I said to her, "please, be a responsible adult with me here and keep your promise and be a better human being. Because right now, you are being a lousy parent, a horrible spouse and a despicable human being!
For some reason, I didn't get thru. She just kept telling me to get out and that I was wrong for going thru his room and taking his stuff.
I even explained it clearly on text, "so you would rather enable your child's drug addiction and delinquency than be a responsible human being a d a loving wife? And she said "yes."
Hopefully this helps me in divorce court when she requests spousal support.
My wife's mother owns this house. She came over today and I asked her if she knew what happened last night. She said, "yes".
She said, "I am going to tell you one thing. I was upset when you searched thru his room in August and I am even more upset that you did it again now."
I said to her, "I found drugs and alcohol in his room."
She said, "I don't care! It's not your place to go thru his things."
AM I IN CRAZY LAND? Seriously people. Did I do something wrong?
I do not want illegal activity to take place in my home. PERIOD! There is no room for negotiation for this!
But am I to believe that a woman who is the landlord of a property, is ok with her tenants, consisting of her daughter and grandson, keeping illegal narcotics in the house. And am I to believe that this woman is ok with her daughter supplying, enabling and protecting her grandson's delinquency?
What am I doing wrong here?
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