I'm needing some advice on what might be going through my ex's head!
A little background:
I'm 30, he's 33, together 10 years, married 7, 2 small children. I left him 2 months ago. I was caring for the house, children, finances, etc, and he was mostly shut in his bedroom doing what he wanted. I would ask for help, he would promise to give it, then not follow through. Eventually I got tired of it and left.
Since the split, we've been having a lot of boundary issues. I will tell him not to do something, he will agree and say he understands, then a few days later he does it anyway. He'll say he's sorry, he knew he wasn't supposed to, but felt like he had to (this was a pretty common theme in our marriage as well).
So here's the real question -
For the past couple of weeks, he's made phone calls to people close to me (my father, mother, best friend) to tell them that he just wants them to know he's not avoiding them, and not mad at me. These people are left very confused by this call. This is very out of character for him - he's not close to these people and never calls anyone (he once went a year without his credit card because he was too nervous to call and ask for a replacement).
He's told me about it afterwards every time he calls one of them. But I don't really understand why he might be doing this, and he won't explain it to me ("I felt like I had to").
Any thoughts on what might be happening here? Is this normal, and I just don't realize it? I've had no urge to call his family! Am I reading too much into this?
EDIT: I should add we've had a civil, but strained, relationship since I left. We're not fighting, for the sake of the kids. But I've made it clear that I'm serious about leaving and want my space. He wants to still be "friends."
A little background:
I'm 30, he's 33, together 10 years, married 7, 2 small children. I left him 2 months ago. I was caring for the house, children, finances, etc, and he was mostly shut in his bedroom doing what he wanted. I would ask for help, he would promise to give it, then not follow through. Eventually I got tired of it and left.
Since the split, we've been having a lot of boundary issues. I will tell him not to do something, he will agree and say he understands, then a few days later he does it anyway. He'll say he's sorry, he knew he wasn't supposed to, but felt like he had to (this was a pretty common theme in our marriage as well).
So here's the real question -
For the past couple of weeks, he's made phone calls to people close to me (my father, mother, best friend) to tell them that he just wants them to know he's not avoiding them, and not mad at me. These people are left very confused by this call. This is very out of character for him - he's not close to these people and never calls anyone (he once went a year without his credit card because he was too nervous to call and ask for a replacement).
He's told me about it afterwards every time he calls one of them. But I don't really understand why he might be doing this, and he won't explain it to me ("I felt like I had to").
Any thoughts on what might be happening here? Is this normal, and I just don't realize it? I've had no urge to call his family! Am I reading too much into this?
EDIT: I should add we've had a civil, but strained, relationship since I left. We're not fighting, for the sake of the kids. But I've made it clear that I'm serious about leaving and want my space. He wants to still be "friends."
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