Vent :
Me an my husband have been experiencing endless problems in our relationship and he's been pushing me to tell him more about my past and how many Bf I've had, I told him half truth and I thought that was the end of it but I was wrong he kept on pushing until I told him about my dark past that I never thought I would share with anyone (In fact I wanted to forget about it)
I decided to tell him the whole truth that my first boyfriend had sex with me against my will and I was scared to report it cause i was still very young and didnt know what happens in relationships or how to get help.
Then later due to the rape situation that was not dealt with and the fact that I never had motherly or fatherly love I dated alot of guys wanting to feel that love that I never got from my family.
I used guys to get money to go to college cause my mother never gave me any so I had to make means and my dad had already passed on when I was 15yrs.
I meet this guy that I thought I loved then we started dating later in the relationship I got pregnant and had an abortion cause I decided I did not want to commit to him after his baby mama dramas.
Last year I was diagnosed with Bipolar which led to me finding out that the rape situation was affecting me emotionally I feel alot better now that it's out there.
My husband feels I have not been truthful to him and is hurting so bad. I apologised and we talked about it. I don't mind him leaving me for this cause he made me realise that I was unfair for not telling him and I'm really sorry about it.
Now the thing is ever since I told him the whole truth every weekend he will ask me about the same thing over and over again then we go back to were we started me explaining the truth and apologising then he tells me how he will try working things out and that I must try being honest which I promise every weekend.
The pain of having to releave what I have been trying to forget for so many years is unbearable. I know I was wrong for not telling him but I was ashamed to tell him and I love him so much but the torture that I go through every weekend.
I feel like running away every friday so I wont have to deal with this again I would rather have him leave me that releaving this every weekend.
He recently threatened to declare me an unfit mother if I leave him so I can lose my daughter he knows how much I love my daughter.
I'm so lost
Me an my husband have been experiencing endless problems in our relationship and he's been pushing me to tell him more about my past and how many Bf I've had, I told him half truth and I thought that was the end of it but I was wrong he kept on pushing until I told him about my dark past that I never thought I would share with anyone (In fact I wanted to forget about it)
I decided to tell him the whole truth that my first boyfriend had sex with me against my will and I was scared to report it cause i was still very young and didnt know what happens in relationships or how to get help.
Then later due to the rape situation that was not dealt with and the fact that I never had motherly or fatherly love I dated alot of guys wanting to feel that love that I never got from my family.
I used guys to get money to go to college cause my mother never gave me any so I had to make means and my dad had already passed on when I was 15yrs.
I meet this guy that I thought I loved then we started dating later in the relationship I got pregnant and had an abortion cause I decided I did not want to commit to him after his baby mama dramas.
Last year I was diagnosed with Bipolar which led to me finding out that the rape situation was affecting me emotionally I feel alot better now that it's out there.
My husband feels I have not been truthful to him and is hurting so bad. I apologised and we talked about it. I don't mind him leaving me for this cause he made me realise that I was unfair for not telling him and I'm really sorry about it.
Now the thing is ever since I told him the whole truth every weekend he will ask me about the same thing over and over again then we go back to were we started me explaining the truth and apologising then he tells me how he will try working things out and that I must try being honest which I promise every weekend.
The pain of having to releave what I have been trying to forget for so many years is unbearable. I know I was wrong for not telling him but I was ashamed to tell him and I love him so much but the torture that I go through every weekend.
I feel like running away every friday so I wont have to deal with this again I would rather have him leave me that releaving this every weekend.
He recently threatened to declare me an unfit mother if I leave him so I can lose my daughter he knows how much I love my daughter.
I'm so lost
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