Hello. My wife of 2.5 years left about 4 months ago, initially to have me work to get her back (she verbalized this), but about 2 months ago she took of her ring and said she was done.
We were a great couple. We always saw eye to eye on most things and could talk about anything. Times were tough though...Throughout our entire relationship, about 10 years, we have mostly been living in other peoples homes. We only had 2 years on our own. After we were married, we moved into her sisters house to help them with babysitting, and to save money because I was in school. She supported me during school and we always talked about our dreams after I graduated. Well, I did it, I graduated last May and got my job in October...she left in November.
Anyway...she is the love of my life and I am the love of hers. Everyone knows this (family, friends), only she doesn't think she is the love of mine. She took off her ring on Jan 8th and has not reconsidered reconciliation since. I have written letters, and have begged, gifted, and done just about everything to have her consider working on our marriage. She wants nothing to do with it. She says she has seen the changes in me, but wishes I would have put in the effort before she decided to take off her ring.
The only time she wants to discuss anything anymore is when we are dividing assets. I have tried reverse psychology by taking of my ring and saying that I wanted to get this over with asap. This did nothing but push her further away.
All of our bills are now separated. She will answer my calls, and will respond to my texts, as long as I'm not telling her anything that is coming from my heart. She says that she is willing to visit my therapist with me if only to help me cope with what is going on. Otherwise, she is dead-set on not making any effort to save our marriage.
She said that she never felt loved, adored, or appreciated in our relationship. She says that she wants that from day one, and doesn't want any baggage associated with it. I, along with most of our friends and family, have tried to understand why she won't try, but no one can get through to her. She says she still cares about me, but isn't in love with me anymore (something I've seen a lot of people say on here). She says that there is nothing I can do, and would just like some closure to be able to move on with her life. However, she does want to remain friends.
She is very cold to me, and I believe she is being very honest when she says that it's over, and that there is not someone else. She is not like that...it will take a long time for her to be able to become intimate with someone else.
I just want to know if anyone has any thoughts/advice/insight? I know I need to use this time to work on myself, and that I can't make her love me/change her mind. I am considering NC, but don't know if that's the right choice because I feel that is what brought us to this point in the first place (me not caring...in her eyes).
Any words are greatly appreciated. I will post more details if needed. Thanks.
We were a great couple. We always saw eye to eye on most things and could talk about anything. Times were tough though...Throughout our entire relationship, about 10 years, we have mostly been living in other peoples homes. We only had 2 years on our own. After we were married, we moved into her sisters house to help them with babysitting, and to save money because I was in school. She supported me during school and we always talked about our dreams after I graduated. Well, I did it, I graduated last May and got my job in October...she left in November.
Anyway...she is the love of my life and I am the love of hers. Everyone knows this (family, friends), only she doesn't think she is the love of mine. She took off her ring on Jan 8th and has not reconsidered reconciliation since. I have written letters, and have begged, gifted, and done just about everything to have her consider working on our marriage. She wants nothing to do with it. She says she has seen the changes in me, but wishes I would have put in the effort before she decided to take off her ring.
The only time she wants to discuss anything anymore is when we are dividing assets. I have tried reverse psychology by taking of my ring and saying that I wanted to get this over with asap. This did nothing but push her further away.
All of our bills are now separated. She will answer my calls, and will respond to my texts, as long as I'm not telling her anything that is coming from my heart. She says that she is willing to visit my therapist with me if only to help me cope with what is going on. Otherwise, she is dead-set on not making any effort to save our marriage.
She said that she never felt loved, adored, or appreciated in our relationship. She says that she wants that from day one, and doesn't want any baggage associated with it. I, along with most of our friends and family, have tried to understand why she won't try, but no one can get through to her. She says she still cares about me, but isn't in love with me anymore (something I've seen a lot of people say on here). She says that there is nothing I can do, and would just like some closure to be able to move on with her life. However, she does want to remain friends.
She is very cold to me, and I believe she is being very honest when she says that it's over, and that there is not someone else. She is not like that...it will take a long time for her to be able to become intimate with someone else.
I just want to know if anyone has any thoughts/advice/insight? I know I need to use this time to work on myself, and that I can't make her love me/change her mind. I am considering NC, but don't know if that's the right choice because I feel that is what brought us to this point in the first place (me not caring...in her eyes).
Any words are greatly appreciated. I will post more details if needed. Thanks.
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