Sorry in advance for the long post!!
Very complicated situation, I became friends with this guy in September & we get on really well.. or we did...at the beginning he had just got together with a girl he met online & I also had a sort of boyfriend. But he told me that when he first met me he knew he wanted more...
Myself and this guy hung out often but it was purely platonic at this point then he came over and wanted to stay. I made him go home as I'm not that sort of person, I wouldn't have done that to my boyfriend. He told me he wouldn't have felt guilty about it, he then split up with his girlfriend (nothing to do with me or our situation, they weren't getting on very well).
Fast forward a month or so and myself & my sort of boyfriend stopped going out - we just worked better as mates, we also hadn't really progressed into much physical stuff.
I told this guy, because I knew he liked me and we got closer. He stayed around mine a couple of times & we did a lot of stuff (I'd never done a lot of it before, I'm younger than him, I'm 20, he's 28) but we didn't have sex. It wasn't that he or I didn't want to, he very obviously did, but I had a bad/abusive relationship in my teens & although I trusted him and felt comfortable/safe with him I wasn't ready to just jump into that.
After we did more, he just kept making excuses about not being able to meet up, unfortunately this came in a really ****ty week when I needed him. He said he was sorry that he wasn't there when I needed him and that he'd definitely see me when I was back. But on the day he said he was ill...the next day I was on social media and some girl tagged him in pictures showing them on a night out, the night he said he was ill. I messaged him - first he lied, then said that sometimes with me, it was like having a girlfriend and that really wasn't what he was going for. I was pretty upset as you can imagine.
He went on hol, I saw him when he came back and he just tried to pick up from where we left off.. picking me up/kissing me. I told him he'd been a dick and he just looked at me, a bit sheepish and didn't really say much. I messaged him later that week and told him how hurt I'd been and why as I couldn't quite tell him before. He apologised, said all the right things... he shouldn't have lied and he'd never do it again, that it means a lot to him that I trust him (that he feels now he can be trusted whereas in the past he couldn't be) that I shouldn't feel threatened by the girl he went out with as 'if she'd of wanted something it would have happened by now' or something along those lines and that he hasn't been with anyone else since he stayed over because he couldn't do that to me.
We carried on chatting... esp about doing physical stuff. But he's quite hot and cold and he confuses me. He said he wanted to see me, then cancelled & I found out he'd gone out with that girl…we've chatted since, I haven't mentioned that I know about that and in conversation he said that he didn't want to hurt anyone again and gets bored of relationships...so didn't want a girlfriend but wants friends with benefits...
I really like him but he has a lot of baggage (he smokes weed a lot, has a child from a previous relationship) and hasn't treated me very well and now he doesn't seem to want to talk to me...I don't know what to do. My friends and family don't really like him because of the baggage and the way he has treated me.
Also, I didn't realise when I got tickets, he's going on the same, one-off night out as me (supposedly with work friends but I think he's going with this girl) and I don't know what to do if I see him....
Please help!!
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