a woman has had an abortion, recently?
Strange thread title (and question, probably), but here's my reason for asking, and it's something that's bugged me for a few years now:
While my ex wife and I were still together, some 2-3 years before we split, she told me one day out of the blue that her sister had been having an affair with her first love, a man she had dated for a few years way back in high school. At the time of this "news", my former SIL was in her early 30's, seemingly happily married to a pretty good guy, and had two young children, around 1 and 3 at the time.
I found this rather hard to believe, for a number of reasons, but I also had absolutely no reason to not believe my then wife. Like, none. She kept me abreast of this... situation for a couple of years, pretty much until the last year my ex wife and I were together. I was even under the impression that my SIL knew that I knew, even though I never directly said anything to her. My ex wife never told me to NOT say anything to her.
One day, she told me that her sister had become pregnant by this man, and that she was accompanying her to an abortion clinic. After this, the alleged affair was over, and it was never spoken of again. Not long after, my ex wife left me for another man.
Getting close to the end of the story, bear with me...
So after my divorce, my ex SIL kept in touch with me, as I was a godfather to one of her kids, whereas the rest of their family never really spoke to me again. I would see them a few times a year, give them birthday and Christmas presents, that sort of thing. Nothing social that didn't involve the kids. My god-daughter was even the flower girl at my second wedding :)
Anyway, I had been talking with her one day on the phone, and we somehow got on the topic of cheating in marriage (as she knew her sister, my ex wife, had cheated on me, etc.) I very casually mentioned that I was glad she had "chosen" her husband and kids, or something along those lines.
Now her reaction to that comment was disbelief. She had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't outright deny it, which is something I would think somebody who HAD done something wrong would do. She acted as though she had no idea what in the hell I was talking about. When I told her that this is what her sister had told me several years back, she was shocked. And then she started to cry. And I felt bad.
She continued to question me on what her sister had told me, and I eventually let her know that my ex wife had told me she (my SIL) had become pregnant and went to the clinic with her. The tears turned to anger and disbelief, and she let me go, and told me she was calling her sister (in Europe) immediately to ask her what the hell she was on about.
Anyway, to keep this from getting TOO long, I'll avoid the ensuing nuclear bombs that went off and cut to the chase - my reason for asking this question.
It occurred to me, much much later on, that perhaps all of the stuff that my ex wife had told me about her sister, was actually about HER. Like some sort of evil and twisted way of admitting things she did to me, without incriminating herself.
Incidentally, the response my former SIL got from my ex wife was kind of insane. She told her that she thought I had a thing for her (my SIL), so she tried to make her undesirable to me. Yes, really. I found this response interesting, because she easily could have lied to her and said that she had said nothing of the sort and twist it to make me look like I was insane (which is something my ex wife would have been very capable of). That is the response I expected, but instead my former SIL told me that THAT was what my ex wife told her.
So it dawned on me that perhaps my ex wife was the one having the affair (which it turned out she had cheated on me, but I don't believe in anything long term), and perhaps SHE was the one who got pregnant and had an abortion.
All this to ask - would somebody have been able to tell, physically, if a woman had had an abortion recently, and if so, for about how long afterwards? My ex wife and I had regular (more or less) sex throughout our relationship. There was never any time, that I can recall, that we went an extended period of time without.
Forget the mental aspects of it. I don't know how to put this gently, but if there was ever a woman alive who could have an abortion and not have any immediate or lasting mental repercussions from it, it would be her. So from a purely physical standpoint, could somebody have an abortion and not skip a beat, so to speak?
Strange thread title (and question, probably), but here's my reason for asking, and it's something that's bugged me for a few years now:
While my ex wife and I were still together, some 2-3 years before we split, she told me one day out of the blue that her sister had been having an affair with her first love, a man she had dated for a few years way back in high school. At the time of this "news", my former SIL was in her early 30's, seemingly happily married to a pretty good guy, and had two young children, around 1 and 3 at the time.
I found this rather hard to believe, for a number of reasons, but I also had absolutely no reason to not believe my then wife. Like, none. She kept me abreast of this... situation for a couple of years, pretty much until the last year my ex wife and I were together. I was even under the impression that my SIL knew that I knew, even though I never directly said anything to her. My ex wife never told me to NOT say anything to her.
One day, she told me that her sister had become pregnant by this man, and that she was accompanying her to an abortion clinic. After this, the alleged affair was over, and it was never spoken of again. Not long after, my ex wife left me for another man.
Getting close to the end of the story, bear with me...
So after my divorce, my ex SIL kept in touch with me, as I was a godfather to one of her kids, whereas the rest of their family never really spoke to me again. I would see them a few times a year, give them birthday and Christmas presents, that sort of thing. Nothing social that didn't involve the kids. My god-daughter was even the flower girl at my second wedding :)
Anyway, I had been talking with her one day on the phone, and we somehow got on the topic of cheating in marriage (as she knew her sister, my ex wife, had cheated on me, etc.) I very casually mentioned that I was glad she had "chosen" her husband and kids, or something along those lines.
Now her reaction to that comment was disbelief. She had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't outright deny it, which is something I would think somebody who HAD done something wrong would do. She acted as though she had no idea what in the hell I was talking about. When I told her that this is what her sister had told me several years back, she was shocked. And then she started to cry. And I felt bad.
She continued to question me on what her sister had told me, and I eventually let her know that my ex wife had told me she (my SIL) had become pregnant and went to the clinic with her. The tears turned to anger and disbelief, and she let me go, and told me she was calling her sister (in Europe) immediately to ask her what the hell she was on about.
Anyway, to keep this from getting TOO long, I'll avoid the ensuing nuclear bombs that went off and cut to the chase - my reason for asking this question.
It occurred to me, much much later on, that perhaps all of the stuff that my ex wife had told me about her sister, was actually about HER. Like some sort of evil and twisted way of admitting things she did to me, without incriminating herself.
Incidentally, the response my former SIL got from my ex wife was kind of insane. She told her that she thought I had a thing for her (my SIL), so she tried to make her undesirable to me. Yes, really. I found this response interesting, because she easily could have lied to her and said that she had said nothing of the sort and twist it to make me look like I was insane (which is something my ex wife would have been very capable of). That is the response I expected, but instead my former SIL told me that THAT was what my ex wife told her.
So it dawned on me that perhaps my ex wife was the one having the affair (which it turned out she had cheated on me, but I don't believe in anything long term), and perhaps SHE was the one who got pregnant and had an abortion.
All this to ask - would somebody have been able to tell, physically, if a woman had had an abortion recently, and if so, for about how long afterwards? My ex wife and I had regular (more or less) sex throughout our relationship. There was never any time, that I can recall, that we went an extended period of time without.
Forget the mental aspects of it. I don't know how to put this gently, but if there was ever a woman alive who could have an abortion and not have any immediate or lasting mental repercussions from it, it would be her. So from a purely physical standpoint, could somebody have an abortion and not skip a beat, so to speak?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment