I've been in halls for a week now and feel so left out. I had friends before I came here and now I don't have anyone to even say Hello to. I feel like I fail at socialising in general, accept with my friends before I moved here, because we've known each other for so many years. Here, I feel instantly judged. It's like the only way to get to know anyone or make any friends is by going out clubbing and getting drunk, and I really don't like that sort of environment. Either that, or sitting in a group, where people like me get pushed out because there's a few really loud people who keep themselves center of attention, which makes me feel even worse.
I've spoke to a few people on my course, but they have kids or they live in a different town and drive away. Which basically means they spend their time talking to each other about children, jobs, or their house. Things I can't relate to. I've tried talking to other people, but find myself feeling like I'm the one asking all the questions, and even though I do that because I am geninley interested in other people, no one asks anything about me. So I feel stupid then.
I feel stuck in my room, I don't know where to go, what to do, who to talk to, anything. The sad thing is, a part of me is used to this. So instead I find myself giving up, resigning myself to the fact that I'm obviously not deserving of friends in the first place, I'm not worthy of anyone's interest or attention, and no one cares.
I'm so sick of feeling like this :( I want to be socialable and I want to talk to people, I like doing those things, I just don't know how. I feel like the odd one out all the time. Even talking to my friends from where I lived and my parents is horrible because they all keep asking "have you made any friends then?" and what do I do? Lie? Tell the truth? Or say nothing?
I feel like I'm the only one who feels like this :'(
Put the internet to work for you.
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