To save everyone a bit of time clicking my profile, I'm Male, late 40's been married over 25 years. Currently kicking the fledglings out of the nest.
I've read and participated in this forum for quite some time, but this is the first time I have started a thread here. Just this morning I posted a nasty reply and followed it up with a refusal to defend my stance and a promise to tell the tale in another place. This is that place.
Recently I had a disturbing experience. I'm still not over it and I need to talk a bit. I was reading a thread and there were several references to "gaslighting". I had no idea what that meant bur with the help of Google I soon was in contact with an abuse hotlines website. Aside from improving my education they had a list of symptoms. After ticking off half the symptoms I started to worry. It's been a few stressful years and I'm not on top of my game. But, the lost and confused feelings I've had about my marriage relationship are definitely not normal for me. I decided to test the waters by talking with an online advocate to see what the thought. I was referred to several articles, and given an invitation to the world. (feel free to go anywhere but here).
As a result of reading more from the abuse protection / prevention viewpoint I've come to worry about a lot of the standard advice we give here. Much of what is commonly advised is considered abusive. Voice activated Recorders, key loggers, The real threat of divorce, and many more. So many things that a person could quickly be paralyzed by caution.
Now the end of this experience has left me with the sure conclusion that no mater what is done to me it is o k and what ever I do is abusive. The anti Male tone of everything I read was disheartening.
So I snapped. I'm sick and tired of being convicted for the crimes of others. I'm tired of being in trouble for things I intended to be good. Today I'm tired of playing with the deck stacked against me. I just want to take my ball and go home.
I don't know how anyone will be able to respond to this. I don't need much advice. I just needed my own space to explain.
MN
I've read and participated in this forum for quite some time, but this is the first time I have started a thread here. Just this morning I posted a nasty reply and followed it up with a refusal to defend my stance and a promise to tell the tale in another place. This is that place.
Recently I had a disturbing experience. I'm still not over it and I need to talk a bit. I was reading a thread and there were several references to "gaslighting". I had no idea what that meant bur with the help of Google I soon was in contact with an abuse hotlines website. Aside from improving my education they had a list of symptoms. After ticking off half the symptoms I started to worry. It's been a few stressful years and I'm not on top of my game. But, the lost and confused feelings I've had about my marriage relationship are definitely not normal for me. I decided to test the waters by talking with an online advocate to see what the thought. I was referred to several articles, and given an invitation to the world. (feel free to go anywhere but here).
As a result of reading more from the abuse protection / prevention viewpoint I've come to worry about a lot of the standard advice we give here. Much of what is commonly advised is considered abusive. Voice activated Recorders, key loggers, The real threat of divorce, and many more. So many things that a person could quickly be paralyzed by caution.
Now the end of this experience has left me with the sure conclusion that no mater what is done to me it is o k and what ever I do is abusive. The anti Male tone of everything I read was disheartening.
So I snapped. I'm sick and tired of being convicted for the crimes of others. I'm tired of being in trouble for things I intended to be good. Today I'm tired of playing with the deck stacked against me. I just want to take my ball and go home.
I don't know how anyone will be able to respond to this. I don't need much advice. I just needed my own space to explain.
MN
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