I'm having a problem being a priority in my marriage.
I've been married for a short while now, not over two years. We were together on and off for about 4 years and then together for 3 before we decided to get married. Our lives are so intertwined that I can't remember a memory that doesn't have him in it. Our friends are the same. Our families are like one big family. We spend many holidays with everyone all together.
That's what makes this problem so much harder. My husband works at a local shop in town as a manager. He practically runs the business so he works an obscene amount of time. He gets one day off a week, sometimes has to go in on his day off too. We have very opposite schedules. I have to go to bed before he gets off and he sleeps until he has to go to work. We see each other for ten minutes tops on the day he works.
My problem is, on his day off I can barely get any of his time. He is always doing something, whether it's running errands or working on the house. He has so many projects going that I'm afraid I will never see him again. When he's not doing that, he's hanging out with his siblings and/or his mother.
This problem has worsened since we've been married. Maybe I never noticed it before, but it was like once we signed the papers, our relationship went downhill. I have begged him to give me just a little of his time. One day every couple of weeks for just me, but he refuses. He says he'll never meet my standards so he won't even try. He squeezes in an hour to hang out with me, but that never allows for a date or to actually do something. I can't remember the last time we went to dinner, or a movie, or done anything at all.
I am greatly depressed over this. I feel like my entire life is evolved around waiting for him to glance my way. Should be noted that he is a functioning addict as well, which causes another big problem in our relationship. He gets emotional when we talk about divorce and claims he is so scared about me leaving him. If he's so scared, then why isn't he trying harder?
Sorry for the rant. Just wanted advice from anyone that has ever had a problem feeling worth it.
I've been married for a short while now, not over two years. We were together on and off for about 4 years and then together for 3 before we decided to get married. Our lives are so intertwined that I can't remember a memory that doesn't have him in it. Our friends are the same. Our families are like one big family. We spend many holidays with everyone all together.
That's what makes this problem so much harder. My husband works at a local shop in town as a manager. He practically runs the business so he works an obscene amount of time. He gets one day off a week, sometimes has to go in on his day off too. We have very opposite schedules. I have to go to bed before he gets off and he sleeps until he has to go to work. We see each other for ten minutes tops on the day he works.
My problem is, on his day off I can barely get any of his time. He is always doing something, whether it's running errands or working on the house. He has so many projects going that I'm afraid I will never see him again. When he's not doing that, he's hanging out with his siblings and/or his mother.
This problem has worsened since we've been married. Maybe I never noticed it before, but it was like once we signed the papers, our relationship went downhill. I have begged him to give me just a little of his time. One day every couple of weeks for just me, but he refuses. He says he'll never meet my standards so he won't even try. He squeezes in an hour to hang out with me, but that never allows for a date or to actually do something. I can't remember the last time we went to dinner, or a movie, or done anything at all.
I am greatly depressed over this. I feel like my entire life is evolved around waiting for him to glance my way. Should be noted that he is a functioning addict as well, which causes another big problem in our relationship. He gets emotional when we talk about divorce and claims he is so scared about me leaving him. If he's so scared, then why isn't he trying harder?
Sorry for the rant. Just wanted advice from anyone that has ever had a problem feeling worth it.
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