I need some advise from you all. I have looked at this different ways, such as men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
This is what has been happening in my marriage. We both work full time jobs. My job Monday - Friday 8-3 and remaining time made up on weekend or evenings. His job is structured as such, 12 hour days - week one Wednesday/Thursday off (usually works one of the two for extra money) week 2 Monday/Tuesday, Friday/Saturday/Sunday off.
During his time off, he works. He is a worker. I don't have issues with this. I tell him to use me like his hands. I will work right along side of him. What I am having issues with is two weeks ago, only had Wednesday off - did dirt work with another guy. I did not take the day off to be with him. This week, we were both off on Monday - both to doctors offices. When we came home a guy came over, lets call him Fred. Fred never knows when to leave (single and apparently lonely). Typically we go to bed between 9 and 10 pm as we get up very early. DH never says anything to promote his leaving. Finally 8:30 pm, I said, I need to take a bath, because I work tomorrow. Tuesday Fred and husband work on crown molding. Fred's here until 7:30 pm. My DH says, I need to go to town Thursday night for materials. Fred says "I'll go!". So all of us go to town, returning at 11:30 pm. DH tells me he will be here Sat/Sun. That night my DH tells Fred he needs to stain and varnish al l day. He says he'll come over later. Here he is. Next Thursday, more dirt work. That makes 3 weeks I haven't been with my husband in any type of quality time.
Logically I say he is doing something that needs to be done. Emotionally I feel abandoned. Only a matter of convenience. I tell myself he's a doer and that's how he shows love, but I truly am broken hearted at not having any time with DH. What says you?
This is what has been happening in my marriage. We both work full time jobs. My job Monday - Friday 8-3 and remaining time made up on weekend or evenings. His job is structured as such, 12 hour days - week one Wednesday/Thursday off (usually works one of the two for extra money) week 2 Monday/Tuesday, Friday/Saturday/Sunday off.
During his time off, he works. He is a worker. I don't have issues with this. I tell him to use me like his hands. I will work right along side of him. What I am having issues with is two weeks ago, only had Wednesday off - did dirt work with another guy. I did not take the day off to be with him. This week, we were both off on Monday - both to doctors offices. When we came home a guy came over, lets call him Fred. Fred never knows when to leave (single and apparently lonely). Typically we go to bed between 9 and 10 pm as we get up very early. DH never says anything to promote his leaving. Finally 8:30 pm, I said, I need to take a bath, because I work tomorrow. Tuesday Fred and husband work on crown molding. Fred's here until 7:30 pm. My DH says, I need to go to town Thursday night for materials. Fred says "I'll go!". So all of us go to town, returning at 11:30 pm. DH tells me he will be here Sat/Sun. That night my DH tells Fred he needs to stain and varnish al l day. He says he'll come over later. Here he is. Next Thursday, more dirt work. That makes 3 weeks I haven't been with my husband in any type of quality time.
Logically I say he is doing something that needs to be done. Emotionally I feel abandoned. Only a matter of convenience. I tell myself he's a doer and that's how he shows love, but I truly am broken hearted at not having any time with DH. What says you?
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