I was married once at a very young age to my first boyfriend against my family's advice. Big mistake. Luckily I didn't have kids from that short marriage and I divorced him when I caught him cheating. (He was sleeping with the cashier girl at our local supermarket. And all those times when I'd shop at the supermarket and say hi to that cashier girl not knowing my husband sees her behind my back. Ha stupid me.)
Anyway I got out of that marriage and I was dating different guys for a while before I met a guy that developed a very deep mental connection with me; we have so many common interests and we can have endless conversations. Let's call him Guy A for now.
I was in a relationship with Guy A for almost 2 years and moved in with him. We had some physical chemistry at the beginning and by the end of the 2 years, I felt like he became more of a best friend / roommate. I don't feel physically attracted to him anymore and feel reluctant to have sex. We still have very strong mental connection and I enjoy being with him. But I broke up with Guy A because the physical attraction wasn't there.
After Guy A, my friend introduced me to Guy B, whom I had an instant and strong physical attraction with. He is very athletic and that is something that I've always wanted in a partner physically as I am a very fit person that loves sports. I later dated Guy B for almost a year. Sex was great with him and I have never been so physically attracted to a boyfriend before. However, we don't have a very strong mental connection; we share some interests, but not that many compared to Guy A. Occasionally I can feel a bit bored talking with him. I broke up with Guy B because he was moving to another state for a job and I didn't want long distance.
Months go by and Guy A started to pursue me again when he found out that I broke up with Guy B. And to my surprise, Guy B just moved back to my city. So now I am stuck in a very difficult situation. I still have feelings for both Guy A and B even though I am not in a relationship with either of them. Maybe because I had a failed marriage, I question every thing and I am so scared of making a wrong choice. It is not fair to them that I have feelings for both. I have thought about letting both go. But I just can't :( I want to make a decision and stick with it and to think only of one person from now on.
If you want to criticize me simply because I am comparing 2 guys, please know that I am ashamed for having feelings for both guys. But I have made it clear to them the existence of the other guy and the fact that I need some time to choose the person I want to be with for a very long time. Please do not tell me that neither is good for me and that I should let go of both. I am aware that a perfect partner does not exist as no one can be perfect. There has be compromise, but I just want to pick the person that would be the most compatible with me in the long term such as a marriage.
If you didn't have physical attraction with your boyfriend / husband, can it be changed later on? Or if you don't have much mental connection, can it be cultivated? I would really appreciate any advice. And it would be even better if you can provide some insight from your own marriage or relationship experiences. Thank you!
Just a recap:
Guy A -- Strong mental connection & many common interests, Weak physical attraction, Humble & loyal, Extrovert, Family not too friendly towards me
Guy B -- OK or so-so mental connection & some common interests, Strong physical attraction, Humble & loyal, Semi-introvert, Family very friendly and loves me
Anyway I got out of that marriage and I was dating different guys for a while before I met a guy that developed a very deep mental connection with me; we have so many common interests and we can have endless conversations. Let's call him Guy A for now.
I was in a relationship with Guy A for almost 2 years and moved in with him. We had some physical chemistry at the beginning and by the end of the 2 years, I felt like he became more of a best friend / roommate. I don't feel physically attracted to him anymore and feel reluctant to have sex. We still have very strong mental connection and I enjoy being with him. But I broke up with Guy A because the physical attraction wasn't there.
After Guy A, my friend introduced me to Guy B, whom I had an instant and strong physical attraction with. He is very athletic and that is something that I've always wanted in a partner physically as I am a very fit person that loves sports. I later dated Guy B for almost a year. Sex was great with him and I have never been so physically attracted to a boyfriend before. However, we don't have a very strong mental connection; we share some interests, but not that many compared to Guy A. Occasionally I can feel a bit bored talking with him. I broke up with Guy B because he was moving to another state for a job and I didn't want long distance.
Months go by and Guy A started to pursue me again when he found out that I broke up with Guy B. And to my surprise, Guy B just moved back to my city. So now I am stuck in a very difficult situation. I still have feelings for both Guy A and B even though I am not in a relationship with either of them. Maybe because I had a failed marriage, I question every thing and I am so scared of making a wrong choice. It is not fair to them that I have feelings for both. I have thought about letting both go. But I just can't :( I want to make a decision and stick with it and to think only of one person from now on.
If you want to criticize me simply because I am comparing 2 guys, please know that I am ashamed for having feelings for both guys. But I have made it clear to them the existence of the other guy and the fact that I need some time to choose the person I want to be with for a very long time. Please do not tell me that neither is good for me and that I should let go of both. I am aware that a perfect partner does not exist as no one can be perfect. There has be compromise, but I just want to pick the person that would be the most compatible with me in the long term such as a marriage.
If you didn't have physical attraction with your boyfriend / husband, can it be changed later on? Or if you don't have much mental connection, can it be cultivated? I would really appreciate any advice. And it would be even better if you can provide some insight from your own marriage or relationship experiences. Thank you!
Just a recap:
Guy A -- Strong mental connection & many common interests, Weak physical attraction, Humble & loyal, Extrovert, Family not too friendly towards me
Guy B -- OK or so-so mental connection & some common interests, Strong physical attraction, Humble & loyal, Semi-introvert, Family very friendly and loves me
Put the internet to work for you.
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