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When you both overreact, who 'caused' the resulting upset?

The title is almost all the question: If one of you overreacts, but in a 'minor' way (acknowledges it's an unnecessary reaction but no-one was particularly upset by it) and the other as a result overreacts in a major way (acknowledges it was in a major way) following which there was a lot of family upset: is it reasonable to say the 'minor' overreaction was the cause of the subsequent serious upset or more logical to say the major outburst resulted in the unpleasantness?
I know this sounds childish and probably is, but we could do with some feedback!!!!

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