As the title implies, I fought the good fight. We separated, sold off our assets, and then divorced after her multiple unapologetic affairs. This is the thing though, I have had a couple longer relationships since the split, and they start off nice but in the end they fizzle. Some of this may be due to the PTSD of the whole situation with potential triggers induced by the women(like having the phone off for hours, missing time, talking to her "guy friend", etc...) However, the one component that I would like to literally call factor X is that in some deranged and twisted way I still love the women I was with for 14 years that consistently shat on me by having affairs and being mentally abusive. I know before everyone gets their panties in a bunch, I see a therapist once a week, but there still is a level of disconnect between a coping strategy and understanding the cause, and actually moving on. I was hoping for some of you out there that gave in on the R and got out of Dodge, how did you finally cut that piece of your heart out. I only say this because now I am with and incredible woman, and want only the best for her. I can't find fault for a single thing that she stands for, and prior to the mind F of the last few years with my Ex-Wife I would be whole hog in love with her. It's just I feel a gap inside me and feel broken when it comes to love. I have had breakups before in my life, but I just got back on the horse and rode off to greener pastures. This time it is different, and I just can't shake my ex and the damage she did to me. I know there is no short cuts in healing, but I was wondering if any of you out there ever fully recovered after being cast aside?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment