I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months a few days ago. We were good together, and I love him, but I just wasn't 'in love' with him.
It wasn't fair to stay together, and I am having my own personal problems with my mental health, which was taking it's toll on him.
He took the break-up so well, and I was really confused because he said how much he was in love with me and wanted to spend his life with me. So, it was wrong, but I checked his facebook.
He'd been writing a (private) journal to himself, and the most recent entries aren't the normal 'break up' thoughts, they are much more extreme. He talks about how lonely he is, how I was the only person who cared about him, and how now I'm gone he has no-one and he'd be better off dead.
I'm getting worried he'll do something stupid, and yesterday he wrote that he took 3 times to dosage of his epilepsy medication to 'chill out', and how he hoped that he'd never wake up last night. He is on the maximum amount of medication that his body can take, so basically he has overdosed.
I know I shouldn't have checked his facebook at all, but I'm worried now. I'm trying to gradually cut contact because it's not fair to try and be friends when I know he has these strong feelings for me, but I feel so guilty now, that I can't just cut him out. What should I do?
I've let him know that if he ever needs to talk, I'm here for him, but I know I can't let him become dependent on me. I also don't think I could talk to him about it, as even just reading his entries is triggering my depression.
I feel like I'm in catch 22.
Please help!
It wasn't fair to stay together, and I am having my own personal problems with my mental health, which was taking it's toll on him.
He took the break-up so well, and I was really confused because he said how much he was in love with me and wanted to spend his life with me. So, it was wrong, but I checked his facebook.
He'd been writing a (private) journal to himself, and the most recent entries aren't the normal 'break up' thoughts, they are much more extreme. He talks about how lonely he is, how I was the only person who cared about him, and how now I'm gone he has no-one and he'd be better off dead.
I'm getting worried he'll do something stupid, and yesterday he wrote that he took 3 times to dosage of his epilepsy medication to 'chill out', and how he hoped that he'd never wake up last night. He is on the maximum amount of medication that his body can take, so basically he has overdosed.
I know I shouldn't have checked his facebook at all, but I'm worried now. I'm trying to gradually cut contact because it's not fair to try and be friends when I know he has these strong feelings for me, but I feel so guilty now, that I can't just cut him out. What should I do?
I've let him know that if he ever needs to talk, I'm here for him, but I know I can't let him become dependent on me. I also don't think I could talk to him about it, as even just reading his entries is triggering my depression.
I feel like I'm in catch 22.
Please help!
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment