In 2012 my XW had a PA. I divorced her and didn't look back. In early 2013 she moved in with a different guy (not her XAP) and they've been together ever since. My story is around here somewhere. :)
Anyway, things have been fine. We've been working well together for the sake of our daughter (6 years old) with no disagreements. I stay out of her life, and for the most part she stays out of mine.
But lately, my XW has been doing some really weird things. Last year I got into the new Doctor Who, and I've been watching it religiously ever since. D knows and watches it with me sometimes. The last time XW came to my house to drop off D was on a Saturday in September or October, her and her BF had plans during her visitation weekend and asked me if I would watch D. I said of course. When she dropped her off, she was wearing a Doctor Who T-shirt, and she couldn't look me in the eye. When she spoke to me, she was looking at anything else but me. I thought that was weird on both counts, as she had never watched Doctor Who when we were together and was suddenly wearing a shirt only after I told my D I watched it now, but I just shrugged it off and figured it was a coincidence.
She's also been sending me a lot more texts. They're all related to our daughter, but they've been happening much more frequently. It's like she's trying to find reasons related to our daughter to text me. But I didn't think much of it and kept on living, I figured she's just trying to be a bit more involved in co-parenting than she was before.
We've been getting a lot of snow here in Oregon the past couple of days. She texted me on Thursday asking if I was going to work on Friday, she said she wasn't, and that I could drop off D at her place or she could pick her up from mine and that she was "open to whatever". The thing is we RARELY do that; D's day care is close to both of us and we have always used it as neutral ground. I prefer it that way as I enjoy my privacy and don't care for my XW coming around my house, and I prefer to stay away from her place to respect her privacy. She did drop D off at my place that one Saturday, but since it was a Saturday there was no other choice and I'll put up with a few minutes with the X in order to get more time with my D. But on a day when day care is open, I prefer to stick to the established norm of making the exchange on neutral ground at day care. I told the XW that I was going to work on Friday and that I'll drop D off at day care like normal, that way she can get D anyt ime throughout the day that is most convenient for her. She said "Ok no problem...just wanted to check in".
Friday morning I'm going through D's backpack, as she had a lot of clothes and toys that stay with me inside and I wanted to make sure I got everything. As I'm going through it, I see a little red book like object. Curious, I open it and see it's a book that has inserts inside for pictures. And all the pictures are of my and my XW's wedding.
My D never mentioned this to me the entire week. Plus she wasn't even born then, so she has no memory of the wedding, and the picture book looked brand new. So I don't think it's hers, and I don't think she even knew it was there. And, red is the XW's favorite color. When i saw it, all her odd past behavior finally made sense.
I was really hoping to have avoided this. I divorced the hell out of her and didn't look back. Not even once. I showed her under no uncertain terms that I was done. I am polite and cordial with her, we don't argue, and I'm very accommodating concerning our D, but I'm just trying to be a responsible co parent. I have given no indication that I'm interested in R. And this begins. I just put the picture book back into D's bag and didn't mention it to her. Haven't mentioned it to the XW either. I'm going to pretend I didn't even see it.
I'm wondering how much more of this I'm going to have to put up with in the days ahead.
Anyway, things have been fine. We've been working well together for the sake of our daughter (6 years old) with no disagreements. I stay out of her life, and for the most part she stays out of mine.
But lately, my XW has been doing some really weird things. Last year I got into the new Doctor Who, and I've been watching it religiously ever since. D knows and watches it with me sometimes. The last time XW came to my house to drop off D was on a Saturday in September or October, her and her BF had plans during her visitation weekend and asked me if I would watch D. I said of course. When she dropped her off, she was wearing a Doctor Who T-shirt, and she couldn't look me in the eye. When she spoke to me, she was looking at anything else but me. I thought that was weird on both counts, as she had never watched Doctor Who when we were together and was suddenly wearing a shirt only after I told my D I watched it now, but I just shrugged it off and figured it was a coincidence.
She's also been sending me a lot more texts. They're all related to our daughter, but they've been happening much more frequently. It's like she's trying to find reasons related to our daughter to text me. But I didn't think much of it and kept on living, I figured she's just trying to be a bit more involved in co-parenting than she was before.
We've been getting a lot of snow here in Oregon the past couple of days. She texted me on Thursday asking if I was going to work on Friday, she said she wasn't, and that I could drop off D at her place or she could pick her up from mine and that she was "open to whatever". The thing is we RARELY do that; D's day care is close to both of us and we have always used it as neutral ground. I prefer it that way as I enjoy my privacy and don't care for my XW coming around my house, and I prefer to stay away from her place to respect her privacy. She did drop D off at my place that one Saturday, but since it was a Saturday there was no other choice and I'll put up with a few minutes with the X in order to get more time with my D. But on a day when day care is open, I prefer to stick to the established norm of making the exchange on neutral ground at day care. I told the XW that I was going to work on Friday and that I'll drop D off at day care like normal, that way she can get D anyt ime throughout the day that is most convenient for her. She said "Ok no problem...just wanted to check in".
Friday morning I'm going through D's backpack, as she had a lot of clothes and toys that stay with me inside and I wanted to make sure I got everything. As I'm going through it, I see a little red book like object. Curious, I open it and see it's a book that has inserts inside for pictures. And all the pictures are of my and my XW's wedding.
My D never mentioned this to me the entire week. Plus she wasn't even born then, so she has no memory of the wedding, and the picture book looked brand new. So I don't think it's hers, and I don't think she even knew it was there. And, red is the XW's favorite color. When i saw it, all her odd past behavior finally made sense.
I was really hoping to have avoided this. I divorced the hell out of her and didn't look back. Not even once. I showed her under no uncertain terms that I was done. I am polite and cordial with her, we don't argue, and I'm very accommodating concerning our D, but I'm just trying to be a responsible co parent. I have given no indication that I'm interested in R. And this begins. I just put the picture book back into D's bag and didn't mention it to her. Haven't mentioned it to the XW either. I'm going to pretend I didn't even see it.
I'm wondering how much more of this I'm going to have to put up with in the days ahead.
Put the internet to work for you.
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