Ever since my WS begun his affair and if i take time to think possibly before then..and definitely since his affair ended..he has lost interest in planning or doing much of anything with our children. He told me a few weeks ago he isnt going to. I have to plan it all. But i am in process of getting a divorce. He said i said i was taking full custody..thats because he has refused to do anything with them. He will cook for them. He will rent movies..that is it. He refuses to do anythinh else. If i planned anything he would stay home pretend to be sick. Etc..He used to be adoting happy dad. Always doing for them buying them stuff. Our kids have asked for stuff and he refuses. Clothes drivers permits etc. I thought his actions were all against me but i was told that during our seperation by our kids that it was boring with him. He never planned fun stuff but would play board games and watch movies. The kids and i have never been allowed to hang out with his friends and their kids past few years.
Is this change caused by affair? Resentment from getting married too young, depression. ?
Its clear now his 180 in life was not just against me but his children too. My kids asked me today if ill just go ahead and give them the things they are asking for saying they give up asking dad. I said i would. I think they were holding out hoping dad would as some sign he loves them.
For me its not about who is better parent. I know i wasnt the best at times going thru dday n depressed. For me its sad to see my kids lose the wonderful relationship they once had with a wonderful man who was wonderful back in the day.
I see stories of ws who leave and abandon their children. Why do they not just abandon the marriage? Why the kids too. Did they secretly resent being a parent?. Or just want romantic life with no responsibility. Even when he was happy in his affair he planned nothing. I worked wknds. They just stayed home. I
I am just looking for insight. If i have to i will plan a family activity once a month and invite ws so kids can have some happy memory of their dad. Yes he makes his own relationship with them but when i saw my kid tear up this morning for the first time i realized that all his pent up anger n resentment is getting to much for him to bear. I have a date w him and my other kid to go to the city and play tomorrow. He is happy about it. Ws invited and said too cold.
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Is this change caused by affair? Resentment from getting married too young, depression. ?
Its clear now his 180 in life was not just against me but his children too. My kids asked me today if ill just go ahead and give them the things they are asking for saying they give up asking dad. I said i would. I think they were holding out hoping dad would as some sign he loves them.
For me its not about who is better parent. I know i wasnt the best at times going thru dday n depressed. For me its sad to see my kids lose the wonderful relationship they once had with a wonderful man who was wonderful back in the day.
I see stories of ws who leave and abandon their children. Why do they not just abandon the marriage? Why the kids too. Did they secretly resent being a parent?. Or just want romantic life with no responsibility. Even when he was happy in his affair he planned nothing. I worked wknds. They just stayed home. I
I am just looking for insight. If i have to i will plan a family activity once a month and invite ws so kids can have some happy memory of their dad. Yes he makes his own relationship with them but when i saw my kid tear up this morning for the first time i realized that all his pent up anger n resentment is getting to much for him to bear. I have a date w him and my other kid to go to the city and play tomorrow. He is happy about it. Ws invited and said too cold.
Posted via Mobile Device
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