Personal boundaries that dictate YOUR behavior in your marraige

H and I were having a discussion the other day and it was surprising to me that we had such different views on personal boundaries within a marraige. When I say personal boundaries, I am referring to the things you choose to do/not do on your own, not because your partner has asked you to, but because you personally find ir disrespectful or inappropriate in your marraige. This came up because I manage a staff of about 30 people, and I had to send a team of two people on a 2 night trip for business. The two person team ended up being one of the single guys, who is known to be a big partier, and one of my female staff who is engaged. I could see from her face and body language when I gave them the assignment that she was uncomfortable, and on a personal level I sympathized with her because I personally would not be comfortable traveling for 2 nights with that guy since I am married. Not that he's a predator and not that she couldn't just keep everything strictly business and handle herself properly. Still, if I were in her shoes, I would have been uncomfortable. They went on the trip and nothing fishy happened (that got back to me, at least). When I told my husband that I would personally be very bothered if I had to travel alone with a single male coworker, he thought I was nuts. I know if it was asked of me, I would go, but since I have a bit of leverage with my work travel due to my position I am lucky that I can pretty much ensure that never happens. Some other standards I keep for myself (that my husband thinks are crazy): I don't go to the weekly company happy hours, as they are comprised 99% of the single people in the office. I personally think it would be inappropriate for me to hang out with a bunch of singles at the bar after work. I DO go to events outside of work that are specifically geared towards team outings for my department or professional organization events. I will not go to bars or clubs without my husband at all, unless for a specific event like a vachelorette party and even then I check in with him often and come home at a decent time (usually before almost everyone else). I do not like spending time alone with other men one-on-one outside of an office setting. This applies mostly to when we are out with friends. Even though the men are married and we are friends. For example we were out at an event with a big group of friends recently and my friend (male, married) and I walked up to order food for the group, while his wife and my husband stayed behind. We ended up in line for quite awhile and the cashier ended up thinking WE were husband and wife. It was an innocent mistake on her part but for some reason it made me extremely uncomfortable! I trust my husband 100% and he's never done anything I would consider questionable, and he trusts me too. He thinks my personal standards are nuts and he's never tried to put boundaries on me in any way, and is really thinking I am odd because I came up with this stuff on my own. So, does anyone else live this way? Posted via Mobile Device

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