Sex is Work-I know it's long

I know this is long winded but this is the first time I've really talked about this at all... Ok so my wife and I just hit our first year of marriage, we have a son who's 1 and a daughter that's 4 mths. We are both military. And for the most part happy, except in the one place I personally think we should be......the bedroom. I know some may think that's not that big of a deal but here's the kicker we're only 24! Myself and my wife's already diminishing sex life has been getting progressively worse. I should probably give a little back story. My wife and I started dating a few years back but we split up, she then got pregnant with our son and we decided to give it another try. Things were going pretty good for the most part, then we decided to get married and that it seems is when the trouble started. From then on we'd have sex maybe once per month. Then she became pregnant with our daughter. While she was pregnant I found my wife even more attractive. But alas to no avail I can literally count on 1 hand how many times we made love while she was pregnant. After our daughter was born I thought things would get better. Well the only change was my wife could drink again which seemed to be the only time she wanted to have sex with me. I think then is when I subconsciously started drinking more often with her in order to experience some sort of intimacy. This was also the only time she could let loose and truly enjoy I guess. Even when we do have sex it's very mundane and is almost down to a sort of ritual. Which consists of her asking me if I want to have sex (which is also a rarity) or be asking (which is the only way she actually accepts), we go take a shower, we get out dry off we get in bed, she plays on her phone for a minute (which I hate since by then I feel like a dog waiting for dinner), then I try to kiss her (which she more often then not turns away from), then we have sex, missionary, no moaning from her or anything then we finish and go shower again. I've tried to talk to her about it and always seem to get the same response "why does everything have to be about sex". She's told me that sex to her just seems like one more thing added on to the list of things to do and it's not high at all on her to do list. There are tv shows that are higher on the list. I'm at whits end and don't know what to do. The most we talked about it was a week ago when we took a road trip she just said she's just not in the mood. PLEASE HELP!!! Posted via Topify using iPhone/iPad

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