Am I really so un-adventurous?

I am new here and this is my first post, so please forgive any mistakes on my part. I have been married for almost 20 years to a wonderful man, and we have 2 great kids. We have a wonderful marriage except for one area of constant disagreement - sex. I am fully aware that there are probably 1,000 threads on this topic already, and I have browsed through many. Before I met my husband, the only sexual relationship I ever had was with a man who was very physically and emotionally abusive. I am WAY over that now and don't think about it any more - I only bring it up now to explain how far I have come in the area of sex. During the first 15 years of our dating and marriage, I basically had to re-learn how to have a positive sexual relationship. My husband was always very patient and gentle in that area. I have always been LD and he was always very accepting of that and never really said too much about wanting more sex. The last 10 years have been another story. As the children were born, and difficult jobs and stress, etc. came into our lives, my husband has really pushed hard for sex. I mean, all the time. And I have tried to keep up because I love him and I know how important sex is to him. I would say that on average we have sex at least once a day, often more, especially because we both work from home now. I try new positions and basically let him to do whatever he wants as I see how happy it makes him. And it makes me happy too when the sex is good, which it often is! My husband always "takes care of my needs" (even if the foreplay could be longer LOL) At one point a few years ago, he told me he needed a more adventurous sex partner or "we are done". Thing is, I thought I was already being adventurous! But I turned the heat up a little, trying to be the sexy wife for him that I know he needs. He is SO HD, and also on testosterone therapy for his depression and ED. He is very overweigh t as well, which does not help his issues at all. Well, last week I finally thought I'd let him do anal on me, and let's just say it did not go well for me. Oh, he enjoyed it very much, but me... well, not so much. I know it was the first time for me (well, since high school when I was with an abuser - but that was rape and didn't really count as a loving sex act). Well, my husband went straight from the (very painful) anal to vaginal and now I have a nasty BV infection and hemorrhoids to boot. Since then we have had sex (vaginal) probably 4 more times and each time it was very painful for me, but I tried not to let that show. Finally, last night, it was just too much and I told him I just couldn't go anymore. He knew about the infection but that didn't stop him from sex. This morning I gave him a BJ and we tried sex, but he just didn't seem into it so I stopped. Now, he is acting angry with me. Not in an aggressive way, more in a passive-aggressive way. He took out all his work stress out on me today, and when I changed all my other meetings to help him on work he said, "There's nothing you can do, go to your meetings". He left for a business trip after that and basically just said, "Well, see you on Saturday". Why does sex have to get in the way of everything good? I know, I know, I have read and read about the high needs of men and that they need sex to feel connected. I really do get that. but my husband constantly gropes me all day long - grabbing my nipples, looking down my shirt, or sticking his fingers into my vagina while I'm cleaning the bathroom, for instance. Almost every single conversation comes around to sex and/or innuendo, and that is honestly not an exaggeration. All this sex really does make him happy, which makes me happy for him. I would rather let him have what he needs and have a happy husband, even if I would be happier with sex only 2-3 times per week. My libido seems to take a little while to "heat up". I feel that I have really tried hard to be the wife he needs me to be. But I also feel that he does not treat me in a romantic way anymore, but that he looks at me just as his "f***buddy", as he called me the other day. Am I really an un-adventurous prude? Please, someone give me a hint of his point of view. Also, sorry for the lengthy post. :) I miss my sweet, romantic soulmate and I am not sure who this person I am married to is anymore. I would do anything to be in a happy marriage.

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