Blindsided and Panicked

I need help. I'm feeling so panicked. My husband left me a few days ago. He was downstairs while we were upstairs watching TV, and in under an hour he loaded everything he could into his car and just left. He left a note and divorce papers on the counter. We've only been married 3 years, but we've been living together for 11 and we have two kids. We dated for 3 years before that, so 14 years total. I'm a SAHM. We moved to this city almost two years ago for his job, which requires extensive travel. We don't see him a lot. But when we do, everything has been ok. Of course we fight and we went through something a year ago where he got in trouble and I found out he'd been cheating on me. Somehow, we worked through it except for some lingering hurt and definitely trust issues on my part. He says there is no other woman, but I am 99% sure there is. It's one of those things you just know. I can't see him having the guts to throw away our family unless there was a big motivator on the other side. My biggest issue now is that he won't talk to me. He's been my best friend since we were teenagers. Up until he left, we texted each other and communicated off and on all day every day. And then he just left, after a perfectly nice weekend, and he won't talk to me at all. He has just dropped me like some trash...out of the blue... as if all those years with me mean nothing to him. He hasn't even asked about his kids. He did send me a message saying he would call me a few days ago (he didn't call) and that he wanted me to continue living here in our house and keep everything the same. But even if I get a job and child support, there is no way I can ever afford the mortgage on our house, let alone the upkeep. This was OUR home and I don't want to be here without him. I didn't want this, but if it's what he wants, I can be agreeable. It's just that he won't talk to me. We could have an uncontested divorce if he would just talk to me. I feel so completely blindsided. It's as if he's died. He was here, I had a husband, I had a family, and now I don't! Just like that. And I don't understand any of it. I've reached out to family, HIS family actually. They've always been my family, too. They are so disappointed in him and want me to move back to be near them. I desperately want to for the emotional support, and so my kids can be near their grandparents. I don't have anyone here and I feel like the heart break, anger and anxiety are going to end me. I need to stay strong for my kids. How do I get through this?

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