Rejected again, so she can watch past episodes of Game of Thrones on a tablet. I feel miserable, sad, unwanted and frustrated.
Last night I put the kids to sleep and when I came into our bedroom she was asleep. So I turned out the light an snuggled up to her. I was expecting at least some "physical contact." I was not expecting sex because she was tired (and had spent the previous night up to 3:00 AM in the morning watching Game of Thrones). But she woke up, and went for the tablet to start Game of Thrones.
After watching for 10 minutes I asked her to pause it, and her response was "why?" So I told her that I wanted sex and we could come back to it later. But she said she was not in the "mood." So I snuggled up to her and watched Game of Thrones with her. After several episodes, I started to doze off a little but she kept me awake by moving the tablet around, and flicking her hair into my face. Not being able to sleep, and not being able to watch Game of Thrones (she kept blocking my view as well). I decided to go downstairs and put the dishes away and tidy the kitchen for tomorrow morning. I was feeling angry, denied and yet she was obviously not sleepy.
I came back to bed, and she asked if anything was wrong. I told her I was feeling down. And then she launched into me telling me that it is always her fault. And that she can't turn me down without hurting my feelings. And that I want sex too much. Once a month is not good enough. She continued to talk non stop for about twenty minutes where I could not get much of a word in edgewise. Repeating that unless she gives into sex I feel hurt and that puts her into a position of being the bad guy. She says she can't win.
She went on and on about how sex is just physical. I told her it is part of how I connect with her. But she says all I want is a release. She was accusing me of just using her as a way to get off. I could not convince her that it was much more than that.
Her lecture was stopped by Our youngest waking up and coming into our bedroom. She took our youngest back to his bedroom.
When she came back into the bedroom she put the tablet away and turned on the light and started to read a book in the chair. I was sleepy, but I asked her to return to bed, she can read in bed (she usually does).
A little while later our youngest came back into our bedroom and went to sleep on her side of the bed. After he was fully asleep I carried him to his bed and put him down. Then I came back to our bedroom and asked her again to sleep in the bed (she was sleeping in the chair). In which case she finally came to bed.
I feel so angry. I want to write a letter to HBO to take Game of Thrones off the air. :lol: I do understand her point of view .. but still I wish she would make an effort. Perhaps she is making an effort and I just view it as not sufficient.
I just feel stripped of all things sexual in life now. Trying to figure out what to do.
What should I do? Should I go back to pretending that rejection does not hurt? Should I stop asking?
Last night I put the kids to sleep and when I came into our bedroom she was asleep. So I turned out the light an snuggled up to her. I was expecting at least some "physical contact." I was not expecting sex because she was tired (and had spent the previous night up to 3:00 AM in the morning watching Game of Thrones). But she woke up, and went for the tablet to start Game of Thrones.
After watching for 10 minutes I asked her to pause it, and her response was "why?" So I told her that I wanted sex and we could come back to it later. But she said she was not in the "mood." So I snuggled up to her and watched Game of Thrones with her. After several episodes, I started to doze off a little but she kept me awake by moving the tablet around, and flicking her hair into my face. Not being able to sleep, and not being able to watch Game of Thrones (she kept blocking my view as well). I decided to go downstairs and put the dishes away and tidy the kitchen for tomorrow morning. I was feeling angry, denied and yet she was obviously not sleepy.
I came back to bed, and she asked if anything was wrong. I told her I was feeling down. And then she launched into me telling me that it is always her fault. And that she can't turn me down without hurting my feelings. And that I want sex too much. Once a month is not good enough. She continued to talk non stop for about twenty minutes where I could not get much of a word in edgewise. Repeating that unless she gives into sex I feel hurt and that puts her into a position of being the bad guy. She says she can't win.
She went on and on about how sex is just physical. I told her it is part of how I connect with her. But she says all I want is a release. She was accusing me of just using her as a way to get off. I could not convince her that it was much more than that.
Her lecture was stopped by Our youngest waking up and coming into our bedroom. She took our youngest back to his bedroom.
When she came back into the bedroom she put the tablet away and turned on the light and started to read a book in the chair. I was sleepy, but I asked her to return to bed, she can read in bed (she usually does).
A little while later our youngest came back into our bedroom and went to sleep on her side of the bed. After he was fully asleep I carried him to his bed and put him down. Then I came back to our bedroom and asked her again to sleep in the bed (she was sleeping in the chair). In which case she finally came to bed.
I feel so angry. I want to write a letter to HBO to take Game of Thrones off the air. :lol: I do understand her point of view .. but still I wish she would make an effort. Perhaps she is making an effort and I just view it as not sufficient.
I just feel stripped of all things sexual in life now. Trying to figure out what to do.
What should I do? Should I go back to pretending that rejection does not hurt? Should I stop asking?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment