Hi everyone. I have been a lurker on these forums for a while and have found them to be helpful. It's hard to get good marriage advice these days!
I wanted to throw out my own problem and see if anyone has any advice to share.
DH and I are from different cultures. In his culture, people are very indirect--often my in laws will ask me if someone in my family "really meant X when they said Y" and it always baffles me how much they read into things. In my culture (U.S.), people tend to be more direct and say what they mean (at least I do). This difference is causing problems between DH and I, after 5 years of marriage.
Sometimes I just want to shake him and say, "JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY!" but it's as if he can't do it. When I am direct with him and say, "It makes me happy when you ____" or "Would you consider____" I mean it as a request--as a start to a negotiation, if necessary--but he tells me I am being controlling. How the heck am I supposed to get my needs met if every time I state something directly, he thinks it's a demand and gets irritated?
I wanted to throw out my own problem and see if anyone has any advice to share.
DH and I are from different cultures. In his culture, people are very indirect--often my in laws will ask me if someone in my family "really meant X when they said Y" and it always baffles me how much they read into things. In my culture (U.S.), people tend to be more direct and say what they mean (at least I do). This difference is causing problems between DH and I, after 5 years of marriage.
Sometimes I just want to shake him and say, "JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY!" but it's as if he can't do it. When I am direct with him and say, "It makes me happy when you ____" or "Would you consider____" I mean it as a request--as a start to a negotiation, if necessary--but he tells me I am being controlling. How the heck am I supposed to get my needs met if every time I state something directly, he thinks it's a demand and gets irritated?
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